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How can I help?

Old 01-20-2010, 05:45 PM
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How can I help?

Hi everyone.

I have someone who i was seeing for about a month before I found out that she was shooting dilaudid. I don't know how much or how often but I assume it was a lot and quite regular. She moved to Dallas to stay with a friend who had to move there to get away from it herself so she's with someone who has been through the exact same situation and has been clean for 3 months. It was her decision to get clean so I think that is a good sign.

It's been a week since she left and it doesn't seem like she wants talk to anyone and she won't even return my text messages. Her friend said that she is miserable right now and just doesn't feel like talking or doing much. I've never been addicted to anything so I have no idea what she's going through.

During the time we spent together we got pretty close and we definately have feelings for each other but it's hard for me because I'm afraid of staying with her while she's battling her addiction. She's supposed to be staying with her friend for a few weeks but when she comes back home her family is making her move about 45 minutes away so she doesn't have as easy of access to the drug. I just hope she doesn't reject that idea because I think it would be the best thing for her.

So i guess I'm just wondering what I can do to support her? I want to help in any way I can. I really want to talk to her bad but I know she just isn't ready yet. Do you guys think it would help if I wrote her a letter? If I do when should I send it? Should I wait until she gets over the initial sickness?

Thanks for all the help.
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Old 01-20-2010, 05:51 PM
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What she'd probably appreciate most is a nice sentimental card. A nice thinking of you card letting her know you're still there, and thinking of her. A letter might be too much for her spinning head.
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Old 01-20-2010, 06:01 PM
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Hi sumdude

Welcome to SR

Well you know this person better than any of us do - but I'm guessing if she's not returning your texts, a letter might go down just about as well.

No reason why you shouldn't send it, mind, but don't expect anything in reply.

If you do, just something short to tell her you're supporting her would be what I would do.

Please remember tho - you can't fight this for her - she needs to do this herself.

Have you considered NarAnon? It's a good place to go for the loved ones of substance abusers. You'd learn a lot there.

Please do also check out our Family and Friends forums here

I hope things work out for you and your friend
D
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