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Scared and Excited

Old 01-20-2010, 02:22 PM
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Scared and Excited

Hi All,

Today is my first day of sobriety. Long story short, I started drinking heavily starting in 2005 and worked my way up to a magnum bottle of white wine every night for about the past year.

I had what I thought were some heart issues (turned out to be anxiety) that got me to a cardiologist. This whole experience gave me a wake up call and I ended up going to see our pastoral care minister who then got me in touch with a therapist who is a recovery alcoholic of 13 years.

Anways, this morning I had a LONG meeting with a psychiatrist who specializes in alcohol recovery. She was wonderful and said we're going to heal/stabalize my body, and then my brain. She has me detoxing at home with some anti-anxiety med as well as a anti-seizure med and a beta blocker (I think) to help with the cravings. I'm seeing her in the morning for my first check up and then again on Monday.

That's all well and good, but I know that there will be no substitute for me for AA. I'm going to get involved, get a sponsor, and if he has me going to one meeting a day for 3 meetings a day, I'm going to do it.

Anyways, just wanted to introduce myself and let you know my story. It was fear that got me to this stage but the reason I'm going to take all of these steps is that I know the fear will go away at one point....that's where I know I can and WILL get in trouble without AA.
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Old 01-20-2010, 02:25 PM
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Welcome to SR, RacerX

D
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Old 01-20-2010, 02:30 PM
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congrats to you. you sound wonderfully motivated and i wish you well. i don't think you'll ever say to yourself that "quitting drinking is the worst thing i ever did."

there are just so many positives to the sober lifestyle.

david.
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Old 01-20-2010, 02:34 PM
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You have taken many appropriate steps with some very great plans in the future to aid in your recovery. Sounds like your attitude is where it should be, and you recognize the potential pitfalls in your sobriety. Glad you are taking the steps to avoid them. Keep checking in with us, as you will find fantastic support here. I wish you nothing but the best!
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Old 01-20-2010, 02:41 PM
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Hi Racer,

It sounds like you're taking good care of yourself!

I hope you continue to read and post.
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Old 01-20-2010, 02:49 PM
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Thanks Everyone!

Wow! Normally when I post on any forum it takes days for anyone to even notice me...if at all!

Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement and I do plan on reading everything I can on this site. As I'm thinking lack of sleep might be an issue, you might look for more posts from me around 1 -3ish in the morning. That said, my psychiatrist reminded me today that 3 hours of sober sleep is actually much healthier than 8 hours of drunk sleep.

RacerX
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Old 01-20-2010, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted by RacerX View Post
That's all well and good, but I know that there will be no substitute for me for AA. I'm going to get involved, get a sponsor, and if he has me going to one meeting a day for 3 meetings a day, I'm going to do it.
Wow, talk about getting a running start right out of the gate. Impressive! Is that where your screen name comes from?

And yeah this forum is very active, so welcome!
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Old 01-20-2010, 03:02 PM
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Sounds like you're taking all the right steps. Good for you! You've got a great plan, now just put it in motion. One day at a time.

Best wishes,

Ghost
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Old 01-20-2010, 04:36 PM
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Welcome to SR, good to have you here!
Also good that you have decided to do something about your problem, and are taking care of your health. It is worth it.
It was fear that got me to this stage but the reason I'm going to take all of these steps is that I know the fear will go away at one point....
Well said and a good point, and yes, it will eventually.
All the best
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Old 01-20-2010, 04:47 PM
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You can do it. I'm a short timer ( 3-days) and right there with you.

Felt great when you first opened your eyes this morning huh?
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Old 01-20-2010, 05:38 PM
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Awesome

Sounds like you have a well thought out plan and are carrying through.
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Old 01-20-2010, 06:17 PM
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So happy for you, RacerX! You are definitely doing it the right way. I have a lot of respect for you for heeding the wake up call. I'm new to this myself (25 days) and it is very motivating for me to read of others' commitment to recovery. Please let us know how it goes!!!
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Old 01-20-2010, 08:49 PM
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FWIW, I started a blog: RacerX Renewed's Blog

For the record, not trying to do a 'look at me, look at me' kind of thing, but thought writing would help me get my feelings out there. It definitely helped tonight! I also thought that if anyone else is going through similar fears, struggles, etc, that they might like to post. Or for any old-timers that have been there and done that might be able to offer hope.

Night All!

RacerX
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Old 01-20-2010, 08:54 PM
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Welcome, Racer...glad you're here.
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:14 PM
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Originally Posted by RacerX View Post
FWIW, I started a blog: RacerX Renewed's Blog

RacerX
Welcome to SR Racer. It's a great place to be. BTW, I enjoyed the 1st post in your blog... keep it going!

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Old 01-20-2010, 09:17 PM
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Thanks so much again, everyone, for your kind words and thoughts!

RacerX
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:41 PM
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Welcome to SR.

Hope you stay around some, read and post... lots of support here (as you've noticed ).


Take care,
TB
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Old 01-21-2010, 05:01 AM
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hi Racer and welcome. Good luck with your detox and it is a great decision to go to AA. You will not regret it. It sounds like you have plenty of support and have willingness.....now you need to take action.

Keep in touch.
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Old 01-21-2010, 05:19 AM
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Welcome to SR! I'm glad you joined the family and glad you decided to get sober before your health got bad/worse. Staying sober will help your anxiety lessen, at least, it did mine. I was drinking to dull the depression and anxiety and it was really making it worse.

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Old 01-21-2010, 06:39 AM
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Just wanted to say GOOD for YOU and you are not alone as you figured. I am kinda in the same boat.... I haven't been feeling good for a couple of years and finally found a Dr that I liked enough to talk to. It looks like stress and my lack of good coping skills has made me out of breath, exhausted, etc. Of course it took a catscan and echiocardiogram to determine that, but hey!? I signed myself up for a 5 week recovery program on Tues. Tonight is my first meeting and my first day sober
We can do this! The only thing we have to lose is the damn panic attacks!
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