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having this cold...

Old 01-20-2010, 11:29 AM
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having this cold...

and I feel like a mess...

Ive convinced myself that smoking weed is okee again. This means I back to smoking everyday several joints...

Ive been braking the habit a bit, today I smoked one joints durings lunch thats all...Ive called sick from work. Sleeping all day, I hope that tomorrow I have the strenght to stay clean. I hope that I will stay clean for the rest for the evening.

Each and everytime I convince myself I dont have a problem, Im okay, I dont need to be sober all the day. Then a few weeks later im all as much I can.

It has gotta go, im really tired right now from fighting...
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Old 01-20-2010, 01:28 PM
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I found that I had to stop drinking completely, before I could stop fighting.

When you stop smoking, what other changes do you make in your life?
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Old 01-20-2010, 01:59 PM
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Anna makes a good point - did you ever get to those meetings?

Read back through your old posts CC - I used to do that when I felt my resolve weakening - for me, it was harder to rationalise the using thoughts when you're looking at posts you made from last time.

D
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