MAB

I'm not really sure what's keeping me sober at this point, perhaps family/friends who love me. School is really starting to take its toll on me, and I feel just about ready to crumble most days. I lack the motivation I once had, and I'm not always sleeping the way I should be. I'm trying to rely on God for my strength, because in and of myself I truly have none. I've never been so up and down emotionally in my life. I'm going to the doctor with my dad as soon as possible to look into the possibility of mental illness.. and also to see if they can give me an anti-depressant. I could really use some encouragement if anyone has it.

least

How long have you been sober? It takes a while for the brain and body to get back to normal functioning after stopping drinking. I'm glad you'll be seeing your doctor for the possibility of depression. I know I was drinking to medicate my depression and anxiety, tho it really made them both worse.

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you joined the family!

eureka

You might not know how you have managed to stay sober, but keep hanging in there MAB.

With God all things are possible. I am happy for you, and God is too.

Keep us updated. I will pray for you today.

Evanna

****{Mab}}}
I remember that feeling so well and i know it sounds like a cliche but it really will pass. It does take a while though hon.

Sounds like you are doing terrific, you are still sober and doing school despite it feeling so damn hard. Glad to learn that you have supportive dad and i think it is brave of you to go talk to the doctor too. We need support from just about everywhere we can get it sometimes.

I am so glad you found your way to this forum. I have a feeling that you are going to be a gift around here.

Will check back on this thread soon to see how you are doing.

Warm wishes
Evanna.

Saphie

It must be tough having to study and going through early sobriety. I feel for you. I just had to turn up for work and that was hard enough. At least I didn't have to take any tests. Have you told your family about your recovery? They sound very supportive, which is wonderful. Seeing a doctor is also a great idea. Try and be honest about everything. Let us know how you are getting on. We are here for you.

augustwest

Have you considered a 12 step program? The work and the fellowship are a critical part of what gets me through my days. Hang in there!

Dee74

Hi MAB

Do you have a support group? I think support is vital, but especially in the tough times.
Please do speak with your Dr about your concerns...and keep posting here

D

soberinwpg

I felt the same way. Don't leave (or drink) before the miracle happens. We do get restored to sanity when we work it and you hanging on to God is working it. Remember though, it's a WE program. I could have NEVER done it alone. I needed support.
Keep it up.

xoxox

MAB

I've been sober about 20 days now, which feels pretty good. But I was sober 3 months prior to my one night of relapse. My doc was not alcohol but Benadryl (though I sometimes did a combination of the two). My dad hasn't always been so supportive, but now that he's on his medicine for bi-polar I feel a bit more apt to trust him.. it's still shaky ground though. It's been hard for me mostly to keep on studying and doing my work when I'm so depressed or stressed out. Plus, some of my teachers are real jerks. I just need the support of my family to get through. I think they understand better than anyone else, and since I'm still sober I am going to stick with that. I think more than addiction problems I may have mental problems (my dad thinks I was using to self-medicate. He used cocaine to self-medicate sometimes but had no problem quitting. It's the same for me) Thank you all for the support.

Thera

Well, just think you're going to school AND you're sober this period is a small part of life in the whole scheme of things right? I know you can push through the hard times and come out ahead, and of course lean on your family and post here : ) Also...a local support group might not be a bad idea.

Safira

What's the last thing you remember enjoying doing? Is there anything in your recent(ish) memory that was fun/relaxing for you at all?

It can be SOOOO hard. I know.

thirtybubba

Hi.

I don't have much in the way of suggestions, but ((Bambam)).


TB

ChangeGonnaCome

Good luck, MAB. I just made it through day #24 w/o weed. I also started college classes last week for the first time in over 25 years. That's about how long I smoked weed too. After my second class, I sat out in my car and cried wondering what the heck I got myself into. Cried myself to sleep several nights and still stress over it. I came close to picking up the phone a few times in the days following to drop out. I wanted so badly to get back into my comfort zone and get rid of what I felt like (and honestly still feel like) is a huge burden and just one more damn thing to stress me out. But on the other hand, I think it may be one of the best things that can help me keep my mind occupied and eventually feel a sense of accomplishment. In class tonight, a new girl needed help and I was able to answer her questions. That made me feel so much more confident and made my spirit smile. I wish I hadn't waited 25 years to do either, but it is what it is. I've become much more comfortable asking for help too. I used to think I would be thought of as weak if I did, but man was I wrong!!!!!!!!! I hope you find the peace of mind your seeking and your days get brighter. Don't know what kind of music you like, but a song that gets me through the tough days is Michael Franti - One Step Closer to You. Check it out on youtube. Hope you like it! Hang in there, dear heart.

Peace

Evanna

Hello Mab, glad to see you are still here and posting. I just popped by to let you know I am rooting for you. Warmest Wishes Evanna.

Horselover

Hi MAB - I too have experienced many ups and downs and had a very down period just recently. It came so sudden and was pretty hard to work through, but through it I worked. Seeing your doctor is a great idea. These emotions do come rapidly and we just numbed them before. Now we have to face them head on. It certainly isn't easy. Hugs - Sarah