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Old 01-17-2010, 08:05 PM
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Toddlers

Is anyone out there dealing with a toddler while trying to deal with themselves? Tips, ideas...anything???
I get sooo stinkin frustrated with him. Constantly moving, whining, can't make up his mind what he wants, pulling my hair (or anything else he can get his hands on), you try to play with him and then he doesn't want that......
I sooo wish I could do a 28 day program like my Dr suggested!
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Old 01-17-2010, 09:18 PM
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Thoughts

Originally Posted by RedNeckGrrl View Post
Is anyone out there dealing with a toddler while trying to deal with themselves? Tips, ideas...anything???
I get sooo stinkin frustrated with him. Constantly moving, whining, can't make up his mind what he wants, pulling my hair (or anything else he can get his hands on), you try to play with him and then he doesn't want that......
I sooo wish I could do a 28 day program like my Dr suggested!
Four kids, ages six to newborn, one with a major health issue that requires constant monitoring. My spouse and I are effectively a pair of single parents as we tag-team work and kids and life in general.

28-day program sounds like a 4-week vacation to me You know, aside from the detox process, turning your life completely around and dealing with your life in an unfamiliar and scary way.

Here's what I've done with my kids while figuring this whole drinking mess out...think and act like a slightly more responsible version of them. Play with them (color with crayons, games with no rules, make forts with blankets and pillows), focus on drying out yourself and not letting anything bad happen to your kid. Watch what he wants to play with on his own and try to insert yourself in his play. If you're thinking about your substance of choice, just promise yourself you won't give in until you're done playing...and when you succeed at that find yourself another near-term goal to be sober for.

I don't know you but it wouldn't surprise me if both you and your child need a good change in scenery and a break from routine and for me, recognizing that was part of the push I needed to move away from a life of constant drinking.
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Old 01-17-2010, 09:26 PM
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Can't say this enough

Seriously, I think it's physically impossible to be pissed off or angry or what have you if you're coloring pictures or making things with play dough. It's just impossible. It's all free-form and no rules are applied and it's a diversion from adult life in the same way that it's a source of incredible joy and pride in accomplishment for kids. They also tend to focus on it if it's fun for them and hopefully reduce your stress level.

Just this morning I was coloring with my 2.5 year old. I enjoyed it so much that I barely noticed when he was through and went off with a cousin as I happily kept coloring my picture without thinking about the extended family discussing the restaurant and meal and drinks and fun they had the night before.

Little things for little people. Think like them. Love them and yourself and realize that you can't do those things effectively if you're drunk. I'm trying to learn and take it all in myself.
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Old 01-17-2010, 11:48 PM
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Red face

...hi..
please check- out the 'Family & Friends' section..

.kidz? i used to be one..still am..LOL..

best wishes..RNG...ozy
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Old 01-18-2010, 04:13 AM
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I'm not a parent but he sounds like a normal toddler to me

Is there anyone who you trust who could babysit a couple of times a week, even for an hour or so? It might give you a break?

The important thing is - there must be better ways to deal with a toddler and the stress associated with that than drinking or using...the playing idea is a good one I think, for you both...when you can find something he likes...

Please keep posting here, as much as you like and need - both you and your son deserve a sober clean you

I think Oz meant this forum btw - you may find other parents there who been through the same thing

Relationships & Parenting In Sobriety - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D
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Old 01-18-2010, 07:46 AM
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My son is 4. He does lots of the same stuff. Seems really typical to me.

I don't really have any advice - just hang in there. Kids are kids.
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Old 01-18-2010, 07:50 AM
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Early in sobriety, my sponsor had me do a to do list everyday. I wasn't working at that time. A big part of my to-do list was 15-20 minutes three times a day "playing" with my toddler. It helped to relieve guilt of feeling like I wasn't doing enough as a mom while the crazies were rampant.

Just force yourself 15-20 minutes of trying to play. Even if he doesn't seem responsive. The same times each day, will train both of you that's it playtime with mommy.
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