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I'm not sure how I feel about posting this...actually I am, pretty uneasy.

Old 01-14-2010, 02:04 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Untoxicated View Post
I would drink and I was off to the races - but not anymore.
And you know this, Untox, from a one time experiment?

From a recovery standpoint from alcoholism, I've found it's critically important to not have reservations concerning the truth of what I am. The 12 Steps can be a great way to live, but no need to waste time if you don't have a problem. Here's a great way to find out that is more reliable than a one time experiment.

Try some controlled drinking. Try it more than once. Taking some liberty with that idea, this plan has given others a pretty clear picture.

Take two drinks per day, no more, no less, every day, for a month. That will give you a good indication of whether or not you can control your drinking.

If you can do that, it doesn't eliminate the possibility of being a 'potetntial' alkie, but it will give you a good idea of where you are at today (or in a month). Let us know how it goes.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:06 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
the one thing that sets the "problem" drinker apart from the average joe IS the efforts and antics to maintain and control their drinking. those for whom drinking is NOT a problem don't go buy a 12 pack just to see what happens. those who are not physically or mentally reliant upon alcohol (for whatever reason) would not think twice about quitting for good if they even sensed there was a problem.

if we decide to quit lima beans, for instance, we don't go sneaking back down the canned goods aisle a month later and buy six cans and take them home just to SEE if we can still have control. we just wouldn't give it much thought at all.

our REACTION to the notion of quitting is perhaps the most TELLING indicator. IMHO, only an alcoholic or serious problem drinker would DRINK to prove they don't have a problem with drinking.........just food for thought. be well.
hi ..only problem with Lima beans is they don't give you the brain altering buzz or temp feel good factor ....or is there something I should be doing with them that I have missed LOL
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:06 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
the one thing that sets the "problem" drinker apart from the average joe IS the efforts and antics to maintain and control their drinking.
I disagree, a normal drinker sure, but not a problem drinker.

those for whom drinking is NOT a problem don't go buy a 12 pack just to see what happens. those who are not physically or mentally reliant upon alcohol (for whatever reason) would not think twice about quitting for good if they even sensed there was a problem.
If I were doing this as a test or as part of a controlled drinking experiment - I would think this was solid gold. I did it because I wasn't happy that day and that was that - I didn't give myself a limit to how much or how often I could drink.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:08 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I love that you are searching and looking for answers. Are you doing any other self-help work? For example shame, guilt, people pleasing, anger. Basically have you figured out why you started drinking in the first place?
It sounds to me that you are saying (and believe me I've bargained in my brain about this) if we get to the core issue, we might be able to make the decision to drink or not drink. Maybe the obsession and the compulsion will go away. The cravings will cease and WE WILL BE IN CONTROL OF IT.
Man, am I making ANY sense today?
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:09 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
Hey unintoxicated
maybe the problem with you is a lack of acceptence of yourself ? if that makes sense , a contentment with you , a striving always to be better or different in some way?
This makes sense to me, but to accept myself I first have to know myself and I'm not sure I do.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:09 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
my point is, NORMAL drinkers do NOT exert effort to CONTROL their drinking...it's just not a big deal to them. glass of wine, maybe a beer, and that's it. could be lemonade. the alcohol event itself is a non-issue.....it's just a BEVERAGE to some.
I didn't try to control my drinking.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:10 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
the one thing that sets the "problem" drinker apart from the average joe IS the efforts and antics to maintain and control their drinking. those for whom drinking is NOT a problem don't go buy a 12 pack just to see what happens. those who are not physically or mentally reliant upon alcohol (for whatever reason) would not think twice about quitting for good if they even sensed there was a problem.

if we decide to quit lima beans, for instance, we don't go sneaking back down the canned goods aisle a month later and buy six cans and take them home just to SEE if we can still have control. we just wouldn't give it much thought at all.

our REACTION to the notion of quitting is perhaps the most TELLING indicator. IMHO, only an alcoholic or serious problem drinker would DRINK to prove they don't have a problem with drinking.........just food for thought. be well.
*sigh*
Thank you for that. I 100% agree with this although just two SECONDS ago I almost had myself convinced I might not be an alcoholic.
Cunning, baffling and powerful

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Old 01-14-2010, 02:10 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Untoxicated View Post
I did it because I wasn't happy that day and that was that...
And there is a sure sign of 'problem thinking'.

Sobriety doesn't promise me happiness. It merely makes the quest for it easier.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:11 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by keithj View Post
And you know this, Untox, from a one time experiment?

From a recovery standpoint from alcoholism, I've found it's critically important to not have reservations concerning the truth of what I am. The 12 Steps can be a great way to live, but no need to waste time if you don't have a problem. Here's a great way to find out that is more reliable than a one time experiment.

Try some controlled drinking. Try it more than once. Taking some liberty with that idea, this plan has given others a pretty clear picture.

Take two drinks per day, no more, no less, every day, for a month. That will give you a good indication of whether or not you can control your drinking.

If you can do that, it doesn't eliminate the possibility of being a 'potetntial' alkie, but it will give you a good idea of where you are at today (or in a month). Let us know how it goes.
I think that's some good insight and advice although I think 2 beers a night for a month is a bit much for me.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:13 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Untoxicated View Post
This makes sense to me, but to accept myself I first have to know myself and I'm not sure I do.
Don't want to get too philosophical here but does anyone truly know their self, is there one "true" self we can know or does it change and fluctuate
I have always had underlying feeling I should be a bit better, bit smarter, bit funnier , bit prettier etc etc and have gotten myself in a right state trying to achieve this
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:14 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Bob23 View Post
And there is a sure sign of 'problem thinking'.
I have friends and family that do the same thing - they are problem drinkers too?

Most normies are problem drinkers if you break it down. The only people that wouldn't be are those that drink a glass of wine strictly for the health benefits.
Everyone else drinks to change their mood, alcoholic or not.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:15 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
Don't want to get too philosophical here but does anyone truly know their self, is there one "true" self we can know or does it change and fluctuate
I have always had underlying feeling I should be a bit better, bit smarter, bit funnier , bit prettier etc etc and have gotten myself in a right state trying to achieve this
There is no such thing with being too philosophical with me as it's one of my passionate hobbies. There is most certainly a true self - don't confuse experience with morality.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:16 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Untoxicated View Post
I totally get that, but then why should alcohol (or whatever your DOC is) be a problem for you now that you have both found and fixed the issue...unless you are addicted to that substance?

I guess my question really is...what in the hell is wrong with me? Fix me damnit!

Isn't this your issue?
I seem to have lost my motivation and zest for life.
Whatever way you want to deal with that - counselling, going back to your doctor, new hobbies, prayer, a new puppy...whatever - there's got to be better ways than dealing with it than drinking.

Drinking is at best a temporary solution.

D
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:16 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by soberinwpg View Post
*sigh*
Thank you for that. I 100% agree with this although just two SECONDS ago I almost had myself convinced I might not be an alcoholic.
Cunning, baffling and powerful

I'm glad you brought that up sob because I don't want to convince others they are just fine and can drink/drug again. If you are certain in your decision to not drink/drug then I envy you.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:17 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Isn't this your issue?


Whatever way you want to deal with that - counselling, going back to your doctor, new hobbies, prayer, a new puppy...whatever - there's got to be better ways than dealing with it than drinking.

Drinking is at best a temporary solution.

D
Of course that's my issue, but why it's my issue is my question.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:22 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Untoxicated View Post
I'm glad you brought that up sob because I don't want to convince others they are just fine and can drink/drug again. If you are certain in decision to not drink/drug then I envy you.
OMG. I'm not certain. All I know for a fact is that when I drank and used my life was crap. I hurt my family and my friends and I couldn't get to work and I was angry and confused.
Now that I've taken the booze out and worked at my recovery I don't live like that anymore.
I'm not one of the lucky one's who knows deep in their soul that they are without a doubt an alcoholic. I'm one of those people who knows deep in her soul without a doubt that my life is so much better without alcohol. AND the longer I stay away, the better it is getting.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:22 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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I think your mind has been made dude reading your posts now. You obviously ain't done with it yet. I was only done when i was done.

I agree with the cunning, baffling and powerfull quote from soberinwpg from the big book too.

I remember being where you are now and defending alcohol to the hilt and that whats the problem others do it... It's a funny one because only with total acceptance of one's alcoholism does one stand a chance of staying sober one day at a time but recovery is about finding out and fixing yourself so that you don't feel the need to "medicate". In my experince what sets an alclholic apart from a drinker is that of using booze as a medicine. Thats also why it's so hard to give up for an alclholic too as it's your best mate.

Are you worlds away from 12/16/09 now or gonna go right back where you swore you were never going again?


I wish you well dude xxx

I guess you'll find out what the reality was... Thats the only way for any of us ain't it.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:26 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Untoxicated View Post
I have friends and family that do the same thing - they are problem drinkers too?

Most normies are problem drinkers if you break it down. The only people that wouldn't be are those that drink a glass of wine strictly for the health benefits.
Everyone else drinks to change their mood, alcoholic or not.
Since I quit drinking, I have come to pretty much feel this way as well about people who drink. Consuming intoxicating poisonous beverages is simply not normal, period... and anyone who thinks so might be fooling themselves a little, or a lot. I drank way too much and needed to stop so glad I did and did not wrestle with the question of whether I was an alcoholic or not, that is a trap I see too many people fall into. There are so many good reasons to stop drinking (alcoholic or not) yet I cannot think of a single good reason (apart from that one glass of red wine for health benefits) to keep on drinking, especially the way I was doing it. I think you just kinda answered your own question and you know what the answer is. Quit drinking...
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:26 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
I didn't try to control my drinking.

didn't this thread START with you saying that you took up the suggestion in UTI and tried drinking again to see if you COULD control it, ie not go off the deep end?
Quit the opposite, I tried drinking again with the intention of getting sheetfaced but with the knowledge of the aforementioned.

is there any OTHER rationale to buying a twelver and ONLY drinking 10 in a sitting and therefore pronouncing NO PROBLEM?
Sure, to change my mood. By the way, who pronounced "NO PROBLEM." From where I'm sitting, it's only you.

i really hope you DO NOT have a problem with drinking. i hope maybe it was just a momentary blip, maybe just something that eased the pain for a bit, but now that you are aware you can move forward and not be further hampered by the effects of alcohol.
That's just it, don't most alcoholics have a crazy desire to not want to be an alcoholic because they love drinking so much? I don't give a sheet about being alcoholic and I'll sing it from the hilltops if that's what it takes, I'd just like to know what my deal is.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:28 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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Unfortunately I believe the only way to know is to continue drinking. *sigh*
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