early_sobriety_fears_and_resentments
 

I'm having one of "those" days and now that I'm in recovery, I know how to indentify some of the problems/issues. ...but I don't know how to deal with them without my previous solution (and that was getting f-ed up).

I'm extremly resentful, fearful, distrustful, tired, not feeling well, angry, etc... (all the bad thoughts/feelings).

I'm not going to drink, but I'm miserable and probably insane right now. I keep making mistakes at work, I'm probably acting like a jerk, and I just can't think straight (or right).

I do attend AA and I will be going to a meeting tonight, but besides that, any suggestions?

Can you take a break from work and get outside for a few minutes? It might help to clear your head.

Writing out your thoughts and fears might help too, if you have some spare time at work and it's a private environment.

Hang in there!

Sorry you are feeling shi***. I think a meeting will help, but in the mean time, can you take a break and maybe have some quiet time to meditate and/or think? It is really nice outside if you can get away for a few moments.

Yeah I know that feeling! "One of those Days" kind of feelings.
I had one of those yesterday, it is no fun.

What helps me is to remind myself that as crappy as it is now, it will eventually pass. I make sure to eat right, drink lots of water, take a 5 minute walk or walk briskly up a few flights of stairs getting the heart pumping (if safe) generally helps clear my moods. Sometimes not, I just remind myself that this is a part of the healing and my work preformance and mind might be a little fuzzy the first few days/weeks/months but that it will pass and I remind myself how proud I am that I am taking the steps required to heal my mind body and soul and release it from the addictions. Sometimes if the day is still not going great, when I go home I will take a bath if I can and then go to sleep earlier then usual, with a little prayer asking for a better tomorrow.

You did the right thing by coming here and posting how you felt.
Do you have a sponsor yet? Have you begun to work the steps? That is the next amazing chapter in recovery. You can always just pick a temporary sponsor and start going through the motions, it is amazing how much that support system will help.

All the best to you! Thanks for letting me share and thanks for sharing your feelings with us. It really helped me.

Thank you and all good advice. I couldn't get outside, but I could get to a place where I was able to stop and pray/meditate.

...and yes, I need to keep everything in perspective. It's tough to be grateful sometimes, but I do need to be just that.

Also, I don't crave alcohol much, but what I do crave and seek is something...anything exterior to make me feel instantly different and/or better.

I'm off work at 4 today, so I will make sure I do some of your suggestions before my meeting.

Although it sounds simple...its not...but with practice it is possible to let distracting emotions arise and then let them pass without holding on to them. I like to look at where my distracting emotions arise from. Sometimes they come from a place of insecurity, fear, doubt, resentment and so on. It helps me to identify where distracting emotions come from. That way I can concentrate on calming them at their source and not be distracted by tip of the iceberg emotions so to speak.

...and so of course the meeting I went to was about "having hard times in sobriety and feeling grateful once we get passed those hard times".

...and you know what, I do feel grateful today for getting past yesterday and for not even wanting to drink/start the instanity all over again. Maybe small victories like this will help me to build a good foundation.

Great you are feeling better. You could have left out the "maybe" in that last sentence :)