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Old 01-13-2010, 11:02 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Hi Daphne, enjoy your alcohol free evening. Just for today - One day at a time
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Old 01-13-2010, 11:29 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Thanks for your support
I have done it . Made and eaten dinner. No drink and now the feeling of desire has passed!!
I know once I get beyond that 2 hours I normally drink I will be fine (during the week anyway )
Taking the advice on here I have taken other action too, I have refered myself for counselling . there is a waiting list but if takes too long I will go elsewhere
I want to address the underlying issues too
I cannot cure myself!
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Old 01-13-2010, 02:35 PM
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Hi Daphne, the same time of day for me was always the worse for my drinking.

I am glad you have taken action on the counselling side. I know that is a huge step for you after the things you have said so far
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Old 01-13-2010, 03:27 PM
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Thats me had an alcohol free day, broken the cycle and feeling quite proud of myself. I know its not much but one day at a time as they say and its a start
Tonight I am not going to bed worryin about my health and feeling guilty for drinking.I Also had a great indepth discussion with my partner about my drinking. Since using the forum I am able to talk more openly to him and its useful to share other peoples views. He is incredibly supportive and genuinely committed to helping me, so am very lucky. He can take or leave a drink. He does not need alcohol to really enjoy a night out ......food is his weakness so lucky I am such a good cook !!
Thanks again for the welcome back feeling more positive now:ghug3
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
Thats me had an alcohol free day, broken the cycle and feeling quite proud of myself. I know its not much but one day at a time as they say and its a start
It is good and reinforcing to have a behavior that will provide the encouragement to continue on your new lifestyle. I do it the same way and it works out very well for me. Good going on the positive effort by your part.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:51 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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This is my time for a drink , just home from work and ready to get the evening meal made for thefamily arriving home from school/work
Yes, so many of us women had this routine. It became a habit for me to start drinking while preparing dinner. I felt I needed a "reward" for working all day and then coming home to work some more, when I often did not feel like cooking. So, a couple of glasses of wine got me through it.

Here are a couple of tips, (oops, did I say tips...), that helped me.
I love to cook so I often made overly elaborate meals. The alcoholic in me also wanted to make overly elaborate meals: if something is too simple, of course, I have to complicate it!

So, one of the things I do these days is make super fast meals. That is something I've never done, so it is fun seeing how fast I can throw something together. I never looked at "quick" recipes before, but I sure do now.

I also decided I wanted to avoid cooking altogether some evenings, partly to get over that craving time. So on weekends, or on weekdays when I have a little more time, I make large quantities of foods that freeze well: several trays of lasagne, spaghetti sauce in large amounts, or enchiladas.

I have also shifted my cooking time. On weekends I'll choose dinners that can be made ahead of time and prepare them in the morning or early afternoon. That also helps me avoid the dinner-time cravings: I just heat up the dinner minutes before we are ready to eat.

And, yes, I often feel that great sense of relief that I have gotten through dinner time!
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Old 01-14-2010, 04:53 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Great news on your sober evening and welcome back Daphne.
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Old 01-14-2010, 05:07 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
Tonight I am not going to bed worryin about my health and feeling guilty for drinking.I Also had a great indepth discussion with my partner about my drinking.
Thanks for the update, Daphne. You've recognised what you have been doing to your health and today you have made positive steps to doing something about it. Try not to worry about the past.

It's great your partner is being very supportive and is easy to talk to because you are going to need that. You will likely find emotions coming to the surface when you don't turn to your usual habit of drinking. Particularly while you wait to see the counsellor (have you mangaged to get it on NHS?). Use your partner in these times because it so helps to have someone else perspective on our problems. And of course, you can come here too
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:01 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by littlefish View Post
Yes, so many of us women had this routine. It became a habit for me to start drinking while preparing dinner. I felt I needed a "reward" for working all day and then coming home to work some more, when I often did not feel like cooking. So, a couple of glasses of wine got me through it.

Here are a couple of tips, (oops, did I say tips...), that helped me.
I love to cook so I often made overly elaborate meals. The alcoholic in me also wanted to make overly elaborate meals: if something is too simple, of course, I have to complicate it!

So, one of the things I do these days is make super fast meals. That is something I've never done, so it is fun seeing how fast I can throw something together. I never looked at "quick" recipes before, but I sure do now.

I also decided I wanted to avoid cooking altogether some evenings, partly to get over that craving time. So on weekends, or on weekdays when I have a little more time, I make large quantities of foods that freeze well: several trays of lasagne, spaghetti sauce in large amounts, or enchiladas.

I have also shifted my cooking time. On weekends I'll choose dinners that can be made ahead of time and prepare them in the morning or early afternoon. That also helps me avoid the dinner-time cravings: I just heat up the dinner minutes before we are ready to eat.

And, yes, I often feel that great sense of relief that I have gotten through dinner time!
hey littelfish I am exactly the same
I love cooking...... I am really into good food and cook fancy meals every night
As you said I work really hard in a mentally and emotionally demanding job and feel I deserve a drink when I get in and start cooking
One then leads to two and three and with big wine glasses you have drank a bottle often before eating dinner
Later in the evening I lose my craving , unless out at social events
I need to change my routine and associations with alcohol
No drink tonight am determined
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:03 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by intention View Post
Thanks for the update, Daphne. You've recognised what you have been doing to your health and today you have made positive steps to doing something about it. Try not to worry about the past.

It's great your partner is being very supportive and is easy to talk to because you are going to need that. You will likely find emotions coming to the surface when you don't turn to your usual habit of drinking. Particularly while you wait to see the counsellor (have you mangaged to get it on NHS?). Use your partner in these times because it so helps to have someone else perspective on our problems. And of course, you can come here too
Hi intention
Its a vol organisation that runs the counselling service so you do not pay but leave a donation. I tried NHS the waiting list is closed. If nothing comes up in next few weeks I will pay privately for counselling
Also thinking of joining a gym
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:41 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Hey Daphne,

I consider myself quite the cook as well. One of my favorite times of the day was around 4 or 5pm when I could shut down work stuff, crack open a bottle of wine and cook the evening away. The problem, as I realize now, is that cooking was just another escape for me as well as an excuse to drink.

Even the Food Network was a trigger. I would watch every show I liked and sometimes would even pause it to go buy the ingredients and make what they were demonstrating. A couple of problems here: I was gaining weight like crazy, drinking more and more (I also have LARGE wine glasses) and I was wasting hours and hours of valuable time alone in my kitchen, and eating food that wasn't good for me.

As much as I loved those things, I've had TV taken out of my house all together, as well as all alcohol and now I simply don't have the urge to cook as often. I've lost 10 pounds in less than 3 weeks without really even trying.

I guess for me, I've discovered that I was justifying all kinds of actions and habits as ways to avoid handling the really important things in my life like getting out of debt and nurturing my career. I still struggle to fill all that time, and I'm still not as motivated and focused as I had hoped I would be after 3 weeks of sobriety. But the good folks here have assured me that it's coming and that I need to be patient. Ah....patience. Not my forte.....
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:54 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sunset2000 View Post
Hey Daphne,

I consider myself quite the cook as well. One of my favorite times of the day was around 4 or 5pm when I could shut down work stuff, crack open a bottle of wine and cook the evening away. The problem, as I realize now, is that cooking was just another escape for me as well as an excuse to drink.

Even the Food Network was a trigger. I would watch every show I liked and sometimes would even pause it to go buy the ingredients and make what they were demonstrating. A couple of problems here: I was gaining weight like crazy, drinking more and more (I also have LARGE wine glasses) and I was wasting hours and hours of valuable time alone in my kitchen, and eating food that wasn't good for me.

As much as I loved those things, I've had TV taken out of my house all together, as well as all alcohol and now I simply don't have the urge to cook as often. I've lost 10 pounds in less than 3 weeks without really even trying.

I guess for me, I've discovered that I was justifying all kinds of actions and habits as ways to avoid handling the really important things in my life like getting out of debt and nurturing my career. I still struggle to fill all that time, and I'm still not as motivated and focused as I had hoped I would be after 3 weeks of sobriety. But the good folks here have assured me that it's coming and that I need to be patient. Ah....patience. Not my forte.....
Hey yes thats me ....love my cooking programmes, love my cooking magazines and cook books.......love shopping for food and cooking can shut myself off and yes an excuse to be into wine, a pre dinner drink , good wine etc
Like you I am putting on weight and need to lose some
Found today easier so lot more positive
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:34 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Hi Daphne,

I had a similar problem getting it on NHS when I needed it. The vol organisation sounds good and the gym........exactly what you need to keep you busy.

There must be something about us women and drinking at cooking/dinner time. I read someone on this forum who said she cooked breakfast for the evening meal in the early days to break the association with evening meal and wine bottle.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:18 PM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
Thanks for your support
I have done it . Made and eaten dinner. No drink and now the feeling of desire has passed!!
I know once I get beyond that 2 hours I normally drink I will be fine (during the week anyway )
There is definitely a "witching hour", as I like to call it, when it comes to drinking. I find it that once I get past 7:30 p.m. or so without a drink I'm like, "Hey! I did it and it wasn't so bad. Now I can go to bed sober and wake up ready to face the challenges of a new day."
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:27 PM
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Originally Posted by lostmyway View Post
There is definitely a "witching hour", as I like to call it, when it comes to drinking. I find it that once I get past 7:30 p.m. or so without a drink I'm like, "Hey! I did it and it wasn't so bad. Now I can go to bed sober and wake up ready to face the challenges of a new day."
Yes u r so right ....Thats me done it again no alcohol today and now no desire to have any as beyond my craving time
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Old 01-15-2010, 03:17 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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You are doing great, Daphe. Just one day at a time
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:46 PM
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Gaun Yirsel Daphne.
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