You were right I cannot stop
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Thanks for your support
I have done it . Made and eaten dinner. No drink and now the feeling of desire has passed!!
I know once I get beyond that 2 hours I normally drink I will be fine (during the week anyway )
Taking the advice on here I have taken other action too, I have refered myself for counselling . there is a waiting list but if takes too long I will go elsewhere
I want to address the underlying issues too
I cannot cure myself!
I have done it . Made and eaten dinner. No drink and now the feeling of desire has passed!!
I know once I get beyond that 2 hours I normally drink I will be fine (during the week anyway )
Taking the advice on here I have taken other action too, I have refered myself for counselling . there is a waiting list but if takes too long I will go elsewhere
I want to address the underlying issues too
I cannot cure myself!
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Daphne, the same time of day for me was always the worse for my drinking.
I am glad you have taken action on the counselling side. I know that is a huge step for you after the things you have said so far
I am glad you have taken action on the counselling side. I know that is a huge step for you after the things you have said so far
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Thats me had an alcohol free day, broken the cycle and feeling quite proud of myself. I know its not much but one day at a time as they say and its a start
Tonight I am not going to bed worryin about my health and feeling guilty for drinking.I Also had a great indepth discussion with my partner about my drinking. Since using the forum I am able to talk more openly to him and its useful to share other peoples views. He is incredibly supportive and genuinely committed to helping me, so am very lucky. He can take or leave a drink. He does not need alcohol to really enjoy a night out ......food is his weakness so lucky I am such a good cook !!
Thanks again for the welcome back feeling more positive now:ghug3
Tonight I am not going to bed worryin about my health and feeling guilty for drinking.I Also had a great indepth discussion with my partner about my drinking. Since using the forum I am able to talk more openly to him and its useful to share other peoples views. He is incredibly supportive and genuinely committed to helping me, so am very lucky. He can take or leave a drink. He does not need alcohol to really enjoy a night out ......food is his weakness so lucky I am such a good cook !!
Thanks again for the welcome back feeling more positive now:ghug3
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,878
Originally Posted by daphne 
Thats me had an alcohol free day, broken the cycle and feeling quite proud of myself. I know its not much but one day at a time as they say and its a start
Good going on the positive effort by your part.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
This is my time for a drink , just home from work and ready to get the evening meal made for thefamily arriving home from school/work
Here are a couple of tips, (oops, did I say tips...), that helped me.
I love to cook so I often made overly elaborate meals. The alcoholic in me also wanted to make overly elaborate meals: if something is too simple, of course, I have to complicate it!
So, one of the things I do these days is make super fast meals. That is something I've never done, so it is fun seeing how fast I can throw something together. I never looked at "quick" recipes before, but I sure do now.
I also decided I wanted to avoid cooking altogether some evenings, partly to get over that craving time. So on weekends, or on weekdays when I have a little more time, I make large quantities of foods that freeze well: several trays of lasagne, spaghetti sauce in large amounts, or enchiladas.
I have also shifted my cooking time. On weekends I'll choose dinners that can be made ahead of time and prepare them in the morning or early afternoon. That also helps me avoid the dinner-time cravings: I just heat up the dinner minutes before we are ready to eat.
And, yes, I often feel that great sense of relief that I have gotten through dinner time!
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by daphne
Tonight I am not going to bed worryin about my health and feeling guilty for drinking.I Also had a great indepth discussion with my partner about my drinking.
It's great your partner is being very supportive and is easy to talk to because you are going to need that. You will likely find emotions coming to the surface when you don't turn to your usual habit of drinking. Particularly while you wait to see the counsellor (have you mangaged to get it on NHS?). Use your partner in these times because it so helps to have someone else perspective on our problems. And of course, you can come here too
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by littlefish
Yes, so many of us women had this routine. It became a habit for me to start drinking while preparing dinner. I felt I needed a "reward" for working all day and then coming home to work some more, when I often did not feel like cooking. So, a couple of glasses of wine got me through it.
Here are a couple of tips, (oops, did I say tips...), that helped me.
I love to cook so I often made overly elaborate meals. The alcoholic in me also wanted to make overly elaborate meals: if something is too simple, of course, I have to complicate it!
So, one of the things I do these days is make super fast meals. That is something I've never done, so it is fun seeing how fast I can throw something together. I never looked at "quick" recipes before, but I sure do now.
I also decided I wanted to avoid cooking altogether some evenings, partly to get over that craving time. So on weekends, or on weekdays when I have a little more time, I make large quantities of foods that freeze well: several trays of lasagne, spaghetti sauce in large amounts, or enchiladas.
I have also shifted my cooking time. On weekends I'll choose dinners that can be made ahead of time and prepare them in the morning or early afternoon. That also helps me avoid the dinner-time cravings: I just heat up the dinner minutes before we are ready to eat.
And, yes, I often feel that great sense of relief that I have gotten through dinner time!
Here are a couple of tips, (oops, did I say tips...), that helped me.
I love to cook so I often made overly elaborate meals. The alcoholic in me also wanted to make overly elaborate meals: if something is too simple, of course, I have to complicate it!
So, one of the things I do these days is make super fast meals. That is something I've never done, so it is fun seeing how fast I can throw something together. I never looked at "quick" recipes before, but I sure do now.
I also decided I wanted to avoid cooking altogether some evenings, partly to get over that craving time. So on weekends, or on weekdays when I have a little more time, I make large quantities of foods that freeze well: several trays of lasagne, spaghetti sauce in large amounts, or enchiladas.
I have also shifted my cooking time. On weekends I'll choose dinners that can be made ahead of time and prepare them in the morning or early afternoon. That also helps me avoid the dinner-time cravings: I just heat up the dinner minutes before we are ready to eat.
And, yes, I often feel that great sense of relief that I have gotten through dinner time!
I love cooking...... I am really into good food and cook fancy meals every night
As you said I work really hard in a mentally and emotionally demanding job and feel I deserve a drink when I get in and start cooking
One then leads to two and three and with big wine glasses you have drank a bottle often before eating dinner
Later in the evening I lose my craving , unless out at social events
I need to change my routine and associations with alcohol
No drink tonight am determined
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by intention
Thanks for the update, Daphne. You've recognised what you have been doing to your health and today you have made positive steps to doing something about it. Try not to worry about the past.
It's great your partner is being very supportive and is easy to talk to because you are going to need that. You will likely find emotions coming to the surface when you don't turn to your usual habit of drinking. Particularly while you wait to see the counsellor (have you mangaged to get it on NHS?). Use your partner in these times because it so helps to have someone else perspective on our problems. And of course, you can come here too
It's great your partner is being very supportive and is easy to talk to because you are going to need that. You will likely find emotions coming to the surface when you don't turn to your usual habit of drinking. Particularly while you wait to see the counsellor (have you mangaged to get it on NHS?). Use your partner in these times because it so helps to have someone else perspective on our problems. And of course, you can come here too
Its a vol organisation that runs the counselling service so you do not pay but leave a donation. I tried NHS the waiting list is closed. If nothing comes up in next few weeks I will pay privately for counselling
Also thinking of joining a gym
Sober Date 12/21/09
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 83
Hey Daphne,
I consider myself quite the cook as well. One of my favorite times of the day was around 4 or 5pm when I could shut down work stuff, crack open a bottle of wine and cook the evening away. The problem, as I realize now, is that cooking was just another escape for me as well as an excuse to drink.
Even the Food Network was a trigger. I would watch every show I liked and sometimes would even pause it to go buy the ingredients and make what they were demonstrating. A couple of problems here: I was gaining weight like crazy, drinking more and more (I also have LARGE wine glasses) and I was wasting hours and hours of valuable time alone in my kitchen, and eating food that wasn't good for me.
As much as I loved those things, I've had TV taken out of my house all together, as well as all alcohol and now I simply don't have the urge to cook as often. I've lost 10 pounds in less than 3 weeks without really even trying.
I guess for me, I've discovered that I was justifying all kinds of actions and habits as ways to avoid handling the really important things in my life like getting out of debt and nurturing my career. I still struggle to fill all that time, and I'm still not as motivated and focused as I had hoped I would be after 3 weeks of sobriety. But the good folks here have assured me that it's coming and that I need to be patient. Ah....patience. Not my forte.....
I consider myself quite the cook as well. One of my favorite times of the day was around 4 or 5pm when I could shut down work stuff, crack open a bottle of wine and cook the evening away. The problem, as I realize now, is that cooking was just another escape for me as well as an excuse to drink.
Even the Food Network was a trigger. I would watch every show I liked and sometimes would even pause it to go buy the ingredients and make what they were demonstrating. A couple of problems here: I was gaining weight like crazy, drinking more and more (I also have LARGE wine glasses) and I was wasting hours and hours of valuable time alone in my kitchen, and eating food that wasn't good for me.
As much as I loved those things, I've had TV taken out of my house all together, as well as all alcohol and now I simply don't have the urge to cook as often. I've lost 10 pounds in less than 3 weeks without really even trying.
I guess for me, I've discovered that I was justifying all kinds of actions and habits as ways to avoid handling the really important things in my life like getting out of debt and nurturing my career. I still struggle to fill all that time, and I'm still not as motivated and focused as I had hoped I would be after 3 weeks of sobriety. But the good folks here have assured me that it's coming and that I need to be patient. Ah....patience. Not my forte.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by sunset2000
Hey Daphne,
I consider myself quite the cook as well. One of my favorite times of the day was around 4 or 5pm when I could shut down work stuff, crack open a bottle of wine and cook the evening away. The problem, as I realize now, is that cooking was just another escape for me as well as an excuse to drink.
Even the Food Network was a trigger. I would watch every show I liked and sometimes would even pause it to go buy the ingredients and make what they were demonstrating. A couple of problems here: I was gaining weight like crazy, drinking more and more (I also have LARGE wine glasses) and I was wasting hours and hours of valuable time alone in my kitchen, and eating food that wasn't good for me.
As much as I loved those things, I've had TV taken out of my house all together, as well as all alcohol and now I simply don't have the urge to cook as often. I've lost 10 pounds in less than 3 weeks without really even trying.
I guess for me, I've discovered that I was justifying all kinds of actions and habits as ways to avoid handling the really important things in my life like getting out of debt and nurturing my career. I still struggle to fill all that time, and I'm still not as motivated and focused as I had hoped I would be after 3 weeks of sobriety. But the good folks here have assured me that it's coming and that I need to be patient. Ah....patience. Not my forte.....
I consider myself quite the cook as well. One of my favorite times of the day was around 4 or 5pm when I could shut down work stuff, crack open a bottle of wine and cook the evening away. The problem, as I realize now, is that cooking was just another escape for me as well as an excuse to drink.
Even the Food Network was a trigger. I would watch every show I liked and sometimes would even pause it to go buy the ingredients and make what they were demonstrating. A couple of problems here: I was gaining weight like crazy, drinking more and more (I also have LARGE wine glasses) and I was wasting hours and hours of valuable time alone in my kitchen, and eating food that wasn't good for me.
As much as I loved those things, I've had TV taken out of my house all together, as well as all alcohol and now I simply don't have the urge to cook as often. I've lost 10 pounds in less than 3 weeks without really even trying.
I guess for me, I've discovered that I was justifying all kinds of actions and habits as ways to avoid handling the really important things in my life like getting out of debt and nurturing my career. I still struggle to fill all that time, and I'm still not as motivated and focused as I had hoped I would be after 3 weeks of sobriety. But the good folks here have assured me that it's coming and that I need to be patient. Ah....patience. Not my forte.....
Like you I am putting on weight and need to lose some
Found today easier so lot more positive
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Daphne,
I had a similar problem getting it on NHS when I needed it. The vol organisation sounds good and the gym........exactly what you need to keep you busy.
There must be something about us women and drinking at cooking/dinner time. I read someone on this forum who said she cooked breakfast for the evening meal in the early days to break the association with evening meal and wine bottle.
I had a similar problem getting it on NHS when I needed it. The vol organisation sounds good and the gym........exactly what you need to keep you busy.
There must be something about us women and drinking at cooking/dinner time. I read someone on this forum who said she cooked breakfast for the evening meal in the early days to break the association with evening meal and wine bottle.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Somewhere along the Delaware River, Pennsylvania
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by daphne
Thanks for your support
I have done it . Made and eaten dinner. No drink and now the feeling of desire has passed!!
I know once I get beyond that 2 hours I normally drink I will be fine (during the week anyway )
I have done it . Made and eaten dinner. No drink and now the feeling of desire has passed!!
I know once I get beyond that 2 hours I normally drink I will be fine (during the week anyway )
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by lostmyway
There is definitely a "witching hour", as I like to call it, when it comes to drinking. I find it that once I get past 7:30 p.m. or so without a drink I'm like, "Hey! I did it and it wasn't so bad. Now I can go to bed sober and wake up ready to face the challenges of a new day."
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