I love a drink and not ashamed to admit it.... It helps me relax and unwind. It sometimes gives me dutch courage when needed and ive really enjoyed myself on nights out when ive been suitable lubed up. But I can stop and do stop and limit myself all the time because I know sustained or volume drinking isnt good. I know this to be the difference between alcoholism and responsible drinking. This thread isnt a poke in the eye to those struggling with drink rather than developing a point: To those who are recovering, what would you say to someone who wants to quit but concerned over a life without the simplier (fun) benefits the the odd drink can bring? |
It sounds like you don't really want to quit. To the person that wants the odd drink but wants to quit heavy drinking I would say good for you if you can moderate your drinking and have the odd drink. I wish I could do that but when I drink I drink to get drunk and for that reason I no longer drink. Are you trying to figure out if moderation is what is right for you? |
Originally Posted by Fubarcdn
(Post 2482224)
It sounds like you don't really want to quit. To the person that wants the odd drink but wants to quit heavy drinking I would say good for you if you can moderate your drinking and have the odd drink. I wish I could do that but when I drink I drink to get drunk and for that reason I no longer drink. Are you trying to figure out if moderation is what is right for you? By the way, no I dont want to quit. Im on here to learn about all this as I believe my girlfriend has a problem but wont admit it and drinks secretly. She doesnt get wasted but its why, where and when she drinks that concerns me. Thanks |
Not saying this is the case with you, but my ex gf always claimed she liked to have a drink, that she could control it and that it never gave her problems. Even though the first drink of the day was at 7 in the morning. She defended alcohol to the end. She passed away last year due to alcohol abuse. |
I think I responded to your thread about your girlfriend and I am glad that you want to try to help her. The only way you know if you are one of those people that can drink moderately is to try it. If you can just have a drink or two and not want anymore and not really care when you have the next one then you are probably a normal drinker but if you have to keep drinking even after you have met your preset limit you probably can"t or even if you are really annoyed by having to call it a night moderation will probably not work for you. I am pretty sure that everyone with a drinking problem has tried to drink moderately. I know I have a few dozen times. Good luck with your girlfriend. It is obvious you care a great deal for her. |
Originally Posted by December15
(Post 2482231)
Not saying this is the case with you, but my ex gf always claimed she liked to have a drink, that she could control it and that it never gave her problems. Even though the first drink of the day was at 7 in the morning. She defended alcohol to the end. She passed away last year due to alcohol abuse. Do you think her problem was the spiraling addiction to the substance then or did she drink because of reason from the past? |
Originally Posted by Shamperz
(Post 2482237)
Dude! So sorry to hear that. She doesnt do it often but on occasion have either caught her or found evidence of her drinking at unexplainable times of the morning. Guess what - she explained anyway - hair of the dog/stop anxiety/dealing with something happening that day/were on holiday/ - and my favourite - it calms me so I can drive better!!!! Do you think her problem was the spiraling addiction to the substance then or did she drink because of reason from the past? |
Originally Posted by December15
(Post 2482240)
I put it down to genetics combined with misfortune. In her family there were five sisters, three of them have died from alcohol abuse. |
Originally Posted by Shamperz
(Post 2482249)
Maan that sucks. The ol nature vs nurture arguement. Must have been hard. How are you now? |
my "odd" drink eventually goes back to the drinking that makes me want to stop!! i hear ya, loud and clear on it, though! i don't have much to offer, but i do hear you. |
Shamperz... I gather your seekin information bout your girl friend . But in your post , It mentions nothing about seekin infor for another , It's geared toards yourself . " helps me " that indicate you not another |
one of the first lady's here in the u.s. said she knew she was an alcoholic when she realized that she always hoped that the function she would be going to served alcohol; it was always on her mind. sounds like your girl may fit that category? |
Originally Posted by endzoner
(Post 2482272)
Shamperz... I gather your seekin information bout your girl friend . But in your post , It mentions nothing about seekin infor for another , It's geared toards yourself . " helps me " that indicate you not another Sorry if im not explaining very well. |
Originally Posted by ghostgirl
(Post 2482275)
one of the first lady's here in the u.s. said she knew she was an alcoholic when she realized that she always hoped that the function she would be going to served alcohol; it was always on her mind. sounds like your girl may fit that category? Wandering around Bath in the summer taking in the sights was a pleasant day but because it was the am and that museums were the order of the day, when I said we should go find somehere for lunch, i meant a cafe or something. But without food on her mind at all she immediately thought PUB. Doesnt sound a big deal in itself but whe we got to the camp site that night, her first thought (before id even started putting the tent up) was to go to the off license. She spent the next morning going through a bottle of wine she smuggled out the pub the night before. |
Originally Posted by Shamperz
(Post 2482281)
Pretty much. Wandering around Bath in the summer taking in the sights was a pleasant day but because it was the am and that museums were the order of the day, when I said we should go find somehere for lunch, i meant a cafe or something. But without food on her mind at all she immediately thought PUB. Doesnt sound a big deal in itself but whe we got to the camp site that night, her first thought (before id even started putting the tent up) was to go to the off license. She spent the next morning going through a bottle of wine she smuggled out the pub the night before. |
Hey Shamp-sizzle! The most important thing to remember for both your sanity and hers is that she isn't going to quit/slow down until she is ready to quit/slow down and there is nothing, nada, zero, zip you can do about that. The good news is you're a responsible drinker and you can lead by example and subtle suggestion. Just don't go the route of Jack Lemmon's lady friend in "Days of Wine and Roses." All the best. |
Originally Posted by Shamperz
(Post 2482237)
and my favourite - it calms me so I can drive better!!!! Do you think her problem was the spiraling addiction to the substance then or did she drink because of reason from the past? |
Originally Posted by December15
(Post 2482289)
My ex gf loved food, well, she loved cooking meals. She was a real good cook actually. Problem is she would cook a meal, take a spoonfull and leave the rest. The wine was easier to digest. Has she admitted to being an alcoholic? |
Originally Posted by Shamperz
(Post 2482363)
No. She thinks that having a problem with drink and being an alcoholic are two different things. |
Originally Posted by December15
(Post 2482493)
That is quite a common view point. It has a name - denial. I'm giving a bit of time to this thread because I think you and I may have a fair bit in common. This thread starts with "I love alcohol....", I am not sure if this is referring to your view point or your girlfriend's. Two questions. Do you consider your girlfriend to be an alcoholic? If so, why are you progressing this relationship? In answer to your questions - Yes, I growingly believe her to be an alcoholic. Why am I still with her? Because we have been together over two years, I love her, shes not actually 'drunk' very often and never abusive. This is all very recent and im still trying to get my head around it. I dont believe that being an alcoholic automatically makes you a bad person and not deserved of any sort of relationship. The trust issue i think will be the biggest problem for me. I cant be lied to. |
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