NEOMARXIST

One of the worst things for me about when i was still drinking was the hopelessness that I felt. I would momentarily try to shake myself up to feel slightly better about my life only to be brought back down to a state of hopelessness after a celebratory binge out in town.

I would buy new clothes and then of course want to go and wear them out, so i would go out into town and to see some chicks, but of course as soon as the booze was down my neck then I would be off. New clothes would usually end up with oil (dont ask me how but I always used to seem to get motor oil on my clothes?!! LOL), vomit or just general crap all over them and I would be back to that pitt of depression and despair that only another drink would get me out of. Back to square one yet again... only I could feel my alcolholism growing in darkness and power.

I feel friggin great tonight. The compulsion to drink has been removed on a daily basis at the moment and I feel a great sense of hope.

I have learned to not wish for the world all at once in recovery. If I buy new clothes I can wait to wear them out... There is no rush!! Things will all slot into place in their own time... Life on life terms. As long as I put my side of the bargain in then i have faith that I will be rewarded. This feels great to have this faith. Not in a divine power but in the power of "recovery" from alcolholism and drug addiction.

I am so gratefull to be out of that pitt of hell and despair that I was in.

Thankyou all for giving me hope!!!


peace and Love xxx

intention

....and thanks for passing the hope on.

Sober25

Gratitude is always a good thing.

Anna

I'm glad you're doing well, Neo, and I agree that sometimes, hope is all we have.

Untoxicated

Right back at ya!

As Rick James once said, "Sobriety is a helluva drug." (That may have been cocaine and I may have changed his quote a little.)

Stereosteveo

Yes, like Joe McQ says "It's hard to live very long without hope."

Thanks for the reminder to be grateful. I have to be constantly reminded. And yes I can relate to the pitt of depression and despair. Sometimes I start thinking I have it rough. Then next thing I know im sitting next to a guy who just came in off the same street we lived on, talking about being grateful to be in a warm building for an hour. Boy does that make me right-size quickly.

Faith was hard for me. I always think about this guy:
Joe A

He talks about arriving in AA with nothing but a pair of overalls. No socks, shoes, underwear...But still resisting. He says something like "How can a guy with no underwear think he's in a position to strike up an bargain?" lol........I'm grateful I don't have to be "that guy" all over again today. Still practicing though..