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-   -   Cravings are back! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/192041-cravings-back.html)

SmileyKiwi 01-09-2010 05:26 AM

Cravings are back!
 
Hi Everyone

This is my first post so I hope I'm doing it right!

I'm 114 days sober today.

In the last few weeks I've noticed that the cravings are slowly but surely coming back :c020: I've been fine up until now so not sure why they are back now.

Just wondering how to stop myself going back to it. I really just want to have one night on the drink, but I know that wouldn't work. Just one night - yeah right!! I would be back in full swing soon enough.

I know I can't drink as I have pancreatitis, but that makes it even more tempting. How do I stop the cravings???

Any thoughts greatly appreciated :c031:

SK xxx

Horselover 01-09-2010 05:41 AM

Welcome to SR Smiley and congratulations on your sober time.

I would guess having pancreatitis would be a VERY good reason in remaining sober. I would try to identify where the triggers are coming from or why they are coming and then try to work on those specifically.

If recovery was easy for the first sober 100 days then that's great, but it is not a ride we can take the passenger seat on. We have to be active about our recovery. If you need a face to face group then I would definitely get into that. You would then have people to call if you can't fight off the urges yourself and the meetings would be a place for you to address your concerns as well. SR is great and has been my resources, but some need more then that. Be honest about your needs.

Do you have a lot of free time on your hands right now? Maybe get involved in a volunteer situation. Giving back will help aid your recovery. I am wanting to get back into that myself.

Eventually you will notice that even if you have urges it won't be the end of the world. You gain strength by not giving into the urge. I go for a walk or engage my son or anything to get my mind on something else. The urge does pass.

SmileyKiwi 01-09-2010 06:27 AM

Hi Horselover

Many thanks for your reply.

Having pancreatitis certainly is a huge reason to not give in to the urges and that's the only thing that has stopped me so far.

I think my triggers are boredom and depression. I had to give up my job and move back home with my parents due to pancreatitis and associated pain, fatigue and the all rest that comes with it. So I have a lot of free time on my hands. I spend a lot of time in bed and generally feeling like crap, hence the boredom and depression. I find exercising difficult and can't manage it most of the time. Drinking used to make me forget that I was sick, made me feel heaps better and took some of the pain away.

I should also say that after being on oxycodone for around a year from the pancreatitis I am now dependant, I need it for the pain but am also addicted.

I really need to find a hobby or do some study etc that I can do from bed and exercise when I can to keep me busy. I would love to volunteer but I can't really commit to anything because I never know how the pain will be from day to day.

I'm not too keen to go to meetings as I've become somewhat of a recluse since being sick.

If I'm going to get surgery for my pancreas there is no way they will do it if I go back to drinking. I really need to keep telling myself that over and over because if I go back to drinking I won't get my life back and basically it will probably kill me before too long. I just find it hard to keep focused on the big picture and only think about the moment I'm in.

Sorry for the rambling and thanks again for your post.

SK xxx

intention 01-09-2010 06:44 AM

Hi, you have many days of sobriety there....you are doing reall well.

I think I first read this following a link from this site. Its very informative. I just wonder if any of it applies to you and your stage of recovery

Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma

Take care.

SmileyKiwi 01-09-2010 06:52 AM

Hi Intention

Thanks for your post and the link - I'll go check it out!

Cheers

SK xxx

FBL 01-09-2010 07:10 AM

Welcome, Smiley! I'm on Day #202 and I had some pretty intense cravings up until about Day 150 or so. They did get fewer and farther between as I went along. They've been totally gone now for almost 2 months.

Fubarcdn 01-09-2010 08:04 AM

Welcome Smiley.
I get bored too and when I feel that way I come here and try to encourage others. It is not volunteer work in the traditional sense of the word but just thinking some of my psychobabble may help one person in a small way is somewhat rewarding.
When you are feeling a bit bored and depressed give it a try.
It may not work for you but at least it will keep your mind off of the cravings for a short while while they go away.

Dee74 01-09-2010 04:01 PM

Hi Smiley

Welcome.
I'm an Aussie, but it's good to have another Kiwi here :)

I relapsed lots of times because, although my intent was pure, I just...stopped drinking.

I didn't change anything else in my life, and my life involved drinking a lot - in fact for the last part my life was set up *for* drinking.

It's hard to be a non drinking peg in a drinker's shape hole, y'know?

When I got sober back in 07 I had to change my routine, I had to find new things to do, new people to hang with....

I also had to do a lot of work on myself. I reckon I drank for a lot of underlying reasons - far more than I just liked a drink.

You may be different, but I drank for fear, anger, pain relief, lack of self esteem, boredom, shyness etc. etc.

I removed the alcohol, but to not work on the issues that started me drinking in the first place would have bought me back to the bottle quick smart.

Like I say your situation may not exactly intersect with mine, but I just wanted to put my experience out there :)

I should also add I've had pancreatitis (tho obviously not as bad as your case) so I know it's no picnic - I hope you find a solution and feel better soon

D

Anna 01-09-2010 04:12 PM

Hi and Welcome,

I'm sorry that you find yourself stuck in bed much of the time. Do you like to read? Maybe you could join a book club via the internet and chat with others about books. Or maybe you could consider taking a course online to further your education.

I'm glad you found us, and there is always someone online here if you want to talk, so keep reading and posting.

Hevyn 01-09-2010 04:16 PM

Hi SmileyKiwi - wonderful to see you here.

The same thing happened to me at around 3 mos. I think subconsciously I decided I had it made and could possibly handle a few drinks. I didn't give in to the cravings, but came very close. The urge will pass, but it sure can be frightening when it catches us off guard.

As the others have suggested, try to distract yourself with something else. I know you don't feel physically fit right now, but at least occupy your mind with something. I still have a problem with silence and too much time to think. I usually have the TV on, or music, or read/watch a movie - or come here to SR to remind myself of the hell I went through by reading some of my old posts. The memories do grow dim, unfortunately, even though we swear they never will.

Your body needs to heal, & I know you won't set yourself back by giving in to the cravings. There will come a day when these urges won't come along to pester you as often. Don't loose heart. We're right there with you. Let us know how it's going.

CarolD 01-09-2010 04:19 PM

Congratulations on your sober time
Welcome to our recovery community.....:wave:

SmileyKiwi 01-12-2010 10:01 PM

Hi Everyone

A big thank you to all for your messages of advice and support. :tyou

I have been feeling better over the last couple of days and hoping it will stay that way. I'm sure it's just a phase and will pass. I've been trying to keep myself busy which is really helping.

Hope you are all well.

Big hugs to everyone.

SK x


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