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preparing to quit- advice

Old 01-10-2010, 12:37 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Daphne, I've tried to offer advice/support, but I, too am wondering why you are here if you are so happy and alcohol is not a problem, but a plus, in your life?
Hi anna
Yes and i thanked you for the support
I am debating with myself constantly now if I am addicted or just dependant or neither
A lot of people who have posted have been at rock bottom , lost ot all ( or nearly) were clearly very unhappy with their lives when drinking . I am not
So yes maybe this is not the forum for the likes of me
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Old 01-10-2010, 12:47 PM
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I was told to stop drinking by medical staff. I did for a while but find it hard as I said drinking enhances my life and is a well established habit
I am debating with myself constantly now if I am addicted or just dependant or neither
I think you can scratch out neither....

if continuing to drink will do you clear harm, and you can't or won't stop, I don't think it matters what the nomenclature is...addicted, dependent, you clearly have a problem Daphne.

I've known smokers who continue to smoke through lung cancer til the end, and I've known drinkers who drink til their liver fails and they turn yellow...from this angle, it's a stupid choice, but we're all free to make those choices, Daphne.

I wish you well.

D
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Old 01-10-2010, 12:55 PM
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Hi Daphne,

I think if you didn't have a problem with your liver you wouldn't give a second thought to your drinking.

But you do have a problem with your liver and you shouldn't drink.


If we roll your tape forward and you are hospitalised with irreversible liver damage because you have continued to drink, you will be just like us alcoholics, losing something precious due to drinking we can't stop, regardless of the fact that everything else in your life is rosy.

As to our pronouncements of happiness when being sober, we do that to remind ourselves how much better it feels than being drunk and day by day that reinforces our recovery. Take care.
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Old 01-10-2010, 12:57 PM
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Hi dee
thanks for your level headed reply I know you are right
Have felt (probably wrongly ) pressurised to say "drink is evil " "it will destroy me" " I need saving" " I will never be happy unless I am sober"
None of these things I truly deep down believe I could tell you I do but it would be a lie
I am an honest person who never just says what people want to hear .....maybe thats why ,y life has been difficult !!!
I need to learn to shut up and play the game
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Old 01-10-2010, 01:01 PM
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Sorry if you've felt pressured. I think everyone here just wants you to take care of yourself and make some good choices, Daphne...thats all.

D
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Old 01-10-2010, 01:49 PM
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....said the Spider to the Fly. We've all been the fly. A great life. No problems. Supportive friends. Life is great. But one day when you will realize you are caught in the web...and trust me, its when not if...that alcohol has been playing a bigger part in your life than you imagined or intended. Its great you want to quit. I hope you succeed. But dont underestimate it...its a real piece of work this alcohol addiction thing. Its been kicking my @ss for quite some time now and I use to thing I was a pretty tough individual. I quit smoking one morning just because I got tired of it and never looked back. No quit date or anything like that. Just woke up and threw a half a pack away and that was that. but this alcohol thing is a whole different ballgame. For me anyways. Best of luck to ya.
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Old 01-10-2010, 01:53 PM
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Hi Daphne,

For someone who may or may not be an alcoholic you sure do think like one.

All the best.
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Old 01-10-2010, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Untoxicated View Post
Hi Daphne,

For someone who may or may not be an alcoholic you sure do think like one.

All the best.
Gee thanks how motivational and useful !
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Old 01-10-2010, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
Gee thanks how motivational and useful !
I thought so too. Your liver can't talk so I took the liberty of saying what it can't.

Welcome!
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Old 01-10-2010, 02:43 PM
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Look guys, the snide remarks and one liners really aren't all that helpful and effective for Daphne.
Having said that, I am a bit nonplussed myself. I find it intriguing that someone can reach the point of damaging their liver from drinking and being advised by their doctor to stop hasn't experienced any of the downsides of excessive alcohol use. (?)

But, on the other hand, we are all different, physically. I have been with other drinkers who could drink a lot more than me and stay standing, and I myself could drink others under the table. Some people can drink excessively and never develop alcohol-related liver disease, others will. Some people can smoke all their lives and never develop lung cancer, others will.

If I may ask Daphne, and I hope you don't consider this out of bounds, about how many units of alcohol do you estimate you drink a week?
I myself find alcohol "measure systems" abysmally inaccurate: saying that a glass of wine is equal to a shot of whiskey simply does not make sense to me, but that is usually how it is done.
By the time I stopped, I was a daily drinker consuming between 10 to 20 units a day.
In my case, I drank a lot of high-alcohol beer in large cans that equalled at least three units, entire bottles of wine and then I had my laboratory experiments with alcohol over 30%.
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Old 01-10-2010, 03:18 PM
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
There are many many on this forum posting how happy their lives are sober, how joyous it is , how wonderful, now they are sober. You could equally question if it such a wonderful life why would you need to go on about it? You would not need to make the statement so strongly if you had inner contentment
Okay Daphne I will apologize for not being upfront with you earlier. Should have laid it all out and on the line. I don't usually choose confrontational threads. When someone truly reaches out for help and needs help then I try to respond.

I found this post very offensive and I guess to slam someone because they are trying to show people that life CAN be happy withOUT alcohol and you CAN live a productive life withOUT alcohol may be a reason people post about their experience. I am one of those people.

I guess in the beginning I was like you and couldn't fathom not having alcohol in my life, but eventually I found with time it wasn't center stage anymore. I also found life was actually better without it. I won't write anymore about this topic because I know when someone eludes to actually enjoying an alcohol free existence it riles you to no end.

This is why I posted "tongue in cheek" and I do apologize for that.
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Old 01-10-2010, 03:30 PM
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Originally Posted by littlefish View Post
Look guys, the snide remarks and one liners really aren't all that helpful and effective for Daphne.
You're right and I was out of line and apologize.

It just gets so damn frustrating to throw someone who is drowning a life preserver only for them to comment about how they will miss the beautiful blue water despite its deadliness.

Anywho - end of hijack, gotta hit the gym, take care Daphne.
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Old 01-10-2010, 03:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Horselover View Post
Okay Daphne I will apologize for not being upfront with you earlier. Should have laid it all out and on the line. I don't usually choose confrontational threads. When someone truly reaches out for help and needs help then I try to respond.

I found this post very offensive and I guess to slam someone because they are trying to show people that life CAN be happy withOUT alcohol and you CAN live a productive life withOUT alcohol may be a reason people post about their experience. I am one of those people.

I guess in the beginning I was like you and couldn't fathom not having alcohol in my life, but eventually I found with time it wasn't center stage anymore. I also found life was actually better without it. I won't write anymore about this topic because I know when someone eludes to actually enjoying an alcohol free existence it riles you to no end.

This is why I posted "tongue in cheek" and I do apologize for that.
Apology accepted
My comments about people stating their happiness being sober were in DIRECT relation to comments suggesting my claims to be happy and have a good life had to be false.
What annoyed me was not that but the fact MY feelings about my life were being undermined and assumptions made that I "must " be unhappy.

That annoyed me and I was trying to make the point that nobody is challenging the claims of happiness by the soberity posters. If that make sense??
I thought evryones feelings on here should be respected even if you do not agree with their views or lifestyle.
Of course there is nothing wrong with hapiness in a life without drink.
Look we are all different my experience is different from yours and others here
I know from reading the boards over this week that my situation is no way as bad as others. That my drinking has not taken over my life as it has for a lot of you.
Sorry if you don't like that but i am not going to feign desperation to fit the "stereotype"
I am being honest and straight with folk.
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Old 01-10-2010, 03:46 PM
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Originally Posted by littlefish View Post
Look guys, the snide remarks and one liners really aren't all that helpful and effective for Daphne.
Having said that, I am a bit nonplussed myself. I find it intriguing that someone can reach the point of damaging their liver from drinking and being advised by their doctor to stop hasn't experienced any of the downsides of excessive alcohol use. (?)

But, on the other hand, we are all different, physically. I have been with other drinkers who could drink a lot more than me and stay standing, and I myself could drink others under the table. Some people can drink excessively and never develop alcohol-related liver disease, others will. Some people can smoke all their lives and never develop lung cancer, others will.

If I may ask Daphne, and I hope you don't consider this out of bounds, about how many units of alcohol do you estimate you drink a week?
I myself find alcohol "measure systems" abysmally inaccurate: saying that a glass of wine is equal to a shot of whiskey simply does not make sense to me, but that is usually how it is done.
By the time I stopped, I was a daily drinker consuming between 10 to 20 units a day.
In my case, I drank a lot of high-alcohol beer in large cans that equalled at least three units, entire bottles of wine and then I had my laboratory experiments with alcohol over 30%.
Hi there
No I don't mind I have nothing to hide.
My consultant has never suggested that my current liver enzyme reading (only one is elavated which is unusual) is due to alcohol. I was advised to stop alcohol because of the cocktail of drugs I take for my other 3 conditions. My liver results are a mystery as 3 yr of investigation with no diagnosis. A scan showed a healthy liver no inflamation , normal size , no surface changes etc
The blood results have also gone up and down REGARDLESS of my alcohol use. I had a similar problem 10 years ago which eventually righted itself and the reading went back to normal
I have no symptoms whats so ever of liver damage
Maybe I am in denial as I was very scared at thought of biopsy incase it reveals tumour as I know liver cancer is not really curable.
Anyway the decision on a biopsy will be made in Feb . My bloods for latest test will be back tomorrow and will influence the decision to do a biopsy.
Units of alcohol is tricky to measure I know and if we are drinking at home we tend to underestimate
My consumption varies greatly. Some weeks i am drinking a bottle of wine over an evening most nights. Some weeks if i am out at party/pub for a weekend night out I could drink a lot in one night. Some weeks like this week I have only drank max 7 units in the entire week.
I would say that I have issues with control; I am fiercely independant and need to be in control of my life. Someone (doc) telling me I cannot drink I hate as I make my own decisions
I know that sounds horrific and spoilt but I need to be in charge !!!
I know you will say strange an indepedant in control person cannot control/stop drinking. Thats the irony in life isn't it!
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Old 01-10-2010, 03:52 PM
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Maybe a medical forum would be more appropriate and helpful to you.
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Old 01-10-2010, 03:58 PM
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Originally Posted by jaitch View Post
Maybe a medical forum would be more appropriate and helpful to you.
Without a diagosis its going to be hard to find a "medical " forum for support.
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Old 01-10-2010, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
I know that sounds horrific and spoilt but I need to be in charge !!!
I know you will say strange an indepedant in control person cannot control/stop drinking. Thats the irony in life isn't it!
Hi Daphne,

I think many of us can relate to that. Talk of that in the Big Book too

A bottle of wine a night is about 70 units a week, so 7 for this week is a considerable reduction.

So have you set a date yet... Monday or have you decided something else?
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Old 01-10-2010, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by intention View Post
Hi Daphne,

I think many of us can relate to that. Talk of that in the Big Book too

A bottle of wine a night is about 70 units a week, so 7 for this week is a considerable reduction.

So have you set a date yet... Monday or have you decided something else?
Hi
no I am stopping tomorrow
taking it one day at a time as advised ............ never liked the word "forever" anyhow LOL
could do with restartin my exercise regime and losing a few pounds!
My general health AND my liver can only benefit
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Old 01-10-2010, 04:13 PM
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Sounds like a good plan for tomorrow. And doctors always love it when you exercise and lose weight
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Old 01-10-2010, 04:14 PM
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I know you will say strange an indepedant in control person cannot control/stop drinking. Thats the irony in life isn't it!
Oh no, not strange at all... One hears that alot around here!!

Mark
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