TaraD

I have been addicted to pain pills (oxycontin, hydrocodone, oxycodone, codeine – anything I could get) for years now on and off. In the last month it has gotten so much worse that I couldn’t get out of bed without taking 10-15 hydrocodone. I made a decision a few days ago I am tired of this life. I want to stop. I tried to get help but there is a 1-2 week waiting list for the only rehab in my area. I don’t have insurance or the money to see a doctor to get meds to help detox so I am about to begin detoxing at home alone. I took the last of what I had around noon and just the thought of knowing that’s it, it’s over and I have to deal with the pain is killing me. I have xanax and restoril – not enough to get me through I am sure. I have gone through detoxing before and the thought of it scares me. Especially since my addiction is that much worse this time so the withdrawls are going to be that much worse. I guess I am just looking to see if there is any advice (besides get medical help – which my only option would be to go to a hospital and say I am suicidal which right now, I am not) to get me through the next few days. I was contemplating calling my dr to see if he’ll call me in something (without an office visit) to help but he’s SO by the book that he won’t. I went through 6 months worth of refills on my pills in 1 ½ months. I don’t even know WHY the pharmacy filled them every other day? Anyway, I am just really scared now and don’t know what to do.

Anna

The only thing I can recommend is to go to an ER. I don't think you'd have to say you're suicidal, but could be honest about what's going on.

I hope you take care of yourself.

silentone

Hello,

I just came off opiates, but was not taking to the extent that you have described here. I was taking up to 15-25 a day, but not all at once. I detoxed at home but did talk to my dr. before I started, he strongly suggested a taper plan for me, but I could never do it properly. I finally just went cold turkey. I agree with Anna, if it becomes to difficult, goto the ER and be honest with them.

serenityqueen

HI TaraD First of all, I can relate to the fear and anxiety you're experiencing. I too had a very large opiate habit, I was using about 80 a day. I had to take about 20 Vicodin ES just to get out of bed so I understand what you're facing. But let me jump ahead here. I used for a total of 32 years, 20 of those addicted to opiates. In a few weeks, I will have 4 and a half years Clean & Sober, so it can be done!

Ok, for now, the biggest thing that I want to make very clear is that if at all possible, please have someone with you for the next several days who knows that you are going through. Don't be alone! As you well know, coming off opiates, especially cold turkey, is not a picnic. And please don't try to self medicate with the Xanax and Restoril. You have no idea how your body is going to react to these while going through withdrawls.

A hospital is obligated to admit you and detox you if they feel you are in any danger. You don't have to say you're suicidal. But please be honest about what you're using and how much you're using because they won't be able to take care of you properly if you don't.

You don't have to do this alone. I'm going to send you a personal message with my email address. Please, don't hesitate to contact me. I completely understand how you feel and I'll help you out in any way I can. And congratulations on your decision to get clean. This life w/out drugs is beyond anything I could have ever imagined! And kudos for coming on here, sharing what you're going through and reaching out. That's a huge step!

God Bless,
Judy

Thera

Yes, please come back and post again Tara. I too am just getting off opiates, like you I took anything I could find. I know it's so hard right now and but after going one day without you look to the next and get through that one and so on. Slow but steady and it will get better I am on my 4th day and it's better then the 1st. I agree though, if you do go to the ER please be completely honest so you can get the help you need. Come back and let everyone know how you are.

ffrnemtp

I'm a little reluctant to respond to the posts of others since I'm so new here, but your's caught my attention. I'm not a physician and not offering medical advice, just a little experience.

I don't know your exact situation, age, health, etc. If you have other, pre-existing medical conditions, i.e. heart problems, diabetes, high BP, etc, withdrawal can be dangerous. Some say benzodiazapines (valium, xanax, ativan, etc) help, others say not much.

I my humble opinion, the ER may or may not be of much help. Be honest about how much narcotic you were taking and your exact symptoms. It really just depends on the ER physician you get. They are sensitive to chest pain, shortness of breath, intractable voiting and diarrhea (dehydration potential), etc. I wouldn't tell them you are suicidal unless you are. When I was in withdrawal, I was. Most states allow involuntary confinment for phyciatric evaluation for persons deemed a threat to themselves. In Florida, it's called "Baker Act."

I truley feel for you. I'm not going to claim that I know what you're feeling--I don't know for certain whether I do or not. I would head for the ER if you think you need it. You don't really have much to lose by doing so. If there is anyone you trust who could spend some time with you, it would probably be better than suffering alone. We humans are to good at suffering in silence. To quote Roger Waters (Pink Floyd), "hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way." I think it's the American way too.

I pray for you and wish you the best during what I know is a painful time. Please keep posting so those here know you're still there.........Please!

ffrnemtp

Post something. If you are still in withdrawal, I know your very sick and feel paralyzed.

Just write a few words..............please.

Dee74

Hi ffrnemtp

Tara's been posting in our substance abuse forum - she started a thread there too

D