I need suggestions
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
I will post again what I posted to you before Laura and then I'm done. Alcoholism = The Great Leveller.
It does seem like you may need to get off your high-horse a little. It sounds like you tick all the boxes of an alcoholic tbh. Biggest indicator is that your back on SR again after a break because you "ain't that bad". You sound like the typical case of thinking your better than someone else of a lower social class and so can't possibly be like them poor-people because your well educated and "know how the brain works" or whatever. I really feel for alclholics like that as they have so many roadblocks to drive through before they finally get real and develop humility and have their massive "ego" smashed. You may have to lose everything before your "ego" gets smashed. Your "ego" will keep you in denial untill it kills you.
When it boils down to it we're all the same really: people (Animals) on planet Earth born into this massive Universe. Only some have more chances/oppurtunities than others. Some become professors and dentists others become supermodels and other chuck it all away because they liked a drug too much. And that drug is called alcohol. Pretty simple really. Sounds like you really need to give up booze or else your gonna lose your job. I for one am a little nervy reading that your practicing dentistry when shaky in the morning. Won't be long beofre you realise taking a morning drink will stop those shakes completely and you have your "eye-opener".
You will never stop untill you're ready to stop and it don't sound like you're ready to stop. you most certainly aren't the first and you won't be last to think that you're above being an alcoholic but it is actually so much stronger and intellignet to acknowledge one's alclholism than to keep denying it. Only you can decide if your an Alkie though. Difficult word to say eh?... Alcoholic.
It does seem like you may need to get off your high-horse a little. It sounds like you tick all the boxes of an alcoholic tbh. Biggest indicator is that your back on SR again after a break because you "ain't that bad". You sound like the typical case of thinking your better than someone else of a lower social class and so can't possibly be like them poor-people because your well educated and "know how the brain works" or whatever. I really feel for alclholics like that as they have so many roadblocks to drive through before they finally get real and develop humility and have their massive "ego" smashed. You may have to lose everything before your "ego" gets smashed. Your "ego" will keep you in denial untill it kills you.
When it boils down to it we're all the same really: people (Animals) on planet Earth born into this massive Universe. Only some have more chances/oppurtunities than others. Some become professors and dentists others become supermodels and other chuck it all away because they liked a drug too much. And that drug is called alcohol. Pretty simple really. Sounds like you really need to give up booze or else your gonna lose your job. I for one am a little nervy reading that your practicing dentistry when shaky in the morning. Won't be long beofre you realise taking a morning drink will stop those shakes completely and you have your "eye-opener".
You will never stop untill you're ready to stop and it don't sound like you're ready to stop. you most certainly aren't the first and you won't be last to think that you're above being an alcoholic but it is actually so much stronger and intellignet to acknowledge one's alclholism than to keep denying it. Only you can decide if your an Alkie though. Difficult word to say eh?... Alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hey Laura!
I'm going to second Taz's suggestion. Go to an open meeting of AA... I'm not going to try and sell you on the program, not at all... but it would be a really good experience to have the opportunity to hear others who have admitted that they were alcoholic... you do not have to do the same... just listen... Go to an open discussion or open speaker meeting. There should be many in DC.
Mark
I'm going to second Taz's suggestion. Go to an open meeting of AA... I'm not going to try and sell you on the program, not at all... but it would be a really good experience to have the opportunity to hear others who have admitted that they were alcoholic... you do not have to do the same... just listen... Go to an open discussion or open speaker meeting. There should be many in DC.
Mark
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by lauraandersen4 
I suppose the thing that I find most interesting is that VERY FEW on this site or the others I have been on are your (or I should say my) prototype stereotypical version of an 'alcoholic' or 'addict'. Either it is severely overused in our society or I've been misled and misinformed. Either way, I suppose that isn't the point here, is it?
I shared exactly this in an AA meeting this week. I said that for a long time I was in denial about my alcholism because I am so different from the typical alcoholic and I didn't know if that was because of the social conditioning that I had been subjected to or whether it was my disease cunningly keeping me drinking. I got heads nodding in agreement at the second option.
Many times recently I would see the 'local alkie' in the supermarket at 8am buying a bottle, out all hours and weathers on the streets with a can in his hand, now out of work, partly disabled and I would think "Poor man, he really needs to get to AA". I genuinely felt sorry for him.
And this is from me who blacks out and passes out everytimes she drinks. But I only drink wine, and I have never lost a job from drinking, and I have a house and it is warm and cosy so I don't have to wander the streets, and no-one who knows me would ever know what I get up to with drink.
What I know now is that I am every bit of an alcoholic as he is. I need a programme of recovery every bit as much as he does.
You say you are not ready to quit just yet for you. I understand that but what would make you ready to quit for you? Could you define it - write it down on a piece of paper? What would have you have to lose, what would have to happen ? what event are you waiting for?
Focus
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Dee... Interesting. I spend too much $ out and am in such severe debt that I wouldn't put myself in a position where I'm with people who drink a lot. I avoid bars with people from school like the plague because I know I spend WAY too much and I protect myself from being seen like that by drinking in a much cheaper place... my home. Back at my parents hundreds of miles away, my friends rarely see me sober bc I see them at parties etc... here though, my friends rarely or NEVER see me intoxicated.
Neomarx... Thanks for being so candid. I understand how people may see me that way and it may be very true. You aren't the first to tell me that. Cubile and Lenina... I know that AA isn't the only way and I'm not even opposed to AA. It's just the community that I am in, and at the dental school, I work with a lot of substance abusers and recovering substance abusers. I guess I'm afraid of being recognized and I don't want to mess up $250K of school.
Susan... I have stopped drinking for a week. I am miserable by day 3 tbh and I can't sleep and my hands are numb and tingly and that's generally when I figure it's just better to stop after school stress is over. But I don't want to wait that long on some level. Wich... I wish heeding the warnings of others was enough for me but I think I can explain why I can't fairly easily in the following.
Intention... I've never been asked what it would take to convince me I had a severe enough problem before and that made me think a lot. It goes along with what Wich mentioned. Say I did lose my job, a spouse and got a DUI. Knowing me, I would say I lost my job due to bad luck or the economy and they were looking for an excuse. Lots of people lose jobs wo alcohol... I have been fired before even, that I lost a spouse because we grew apart. Lots of people lose spouses without alcohol... and that I got a DUI because my tolerance wasn't high enough since I'm not an alcoholic and EVERYONE KNOWS that SUBSTANCE ABUSERS rather than those DEPENDENT on alcohol are generally the ones who get DUIs. If I got into a fight, I figure it wasn't alcohol, it was my temper and lack of patience. NOTHING would be blamed on alcohol. I openly admit I'm a fairly bad substance abuser! Just not physically dependent (I'm probably psychologically dependent but that doesn't make me alcoholic) and yeah, there is a difference!
So what would it take? Maybe certain threats of losing a career, maybe certain threats of losing my husband only if in both of these cases alcohol was DIRECTLY stated as the ONLY reason! If I showed up late too often from drinking the night before and lost my job, I wouldn't blame the alcohol for instance... I'd blame laziness or the company for not understanding how terrible I felt. This probably puts me in a hazard category because I don't know. Even death I'd assume it was just my time. Point is I WANT to change that I just haven't been able to convince myself to.
Neomarx... Thanks for being so candid. I understand how people may see me that way and it may be very true. You aren't the first to tell me that. Cubile and Lenina... I know that AA isn't the only way and I'm not even opposed to AA. It's just the community that I am in, and at the dental school, I work with a lot of substance abusers and recovering substance abusers. I guess I'm afraid of being recognized and I don't want to mess up $250K of school.
Susan... I have stopped drinking for a week. I am miserable by day 3 tbh and I can't sleep and my hands are numb and tingly and that's generally when I figure it's just better to stop after school stress is over. But I don't want to wait that long on some level. Wich... I wish heeding the warnings of others was enough for me but I think I can explain why I can't fairly easily in the following.
Intention... I've never been asked what it would take to convince me I had a severe enough problem before and that made me think a lot. It goes along with what Wich mentioned. Say I did lose my job, a spouse and got a DUI. Knowing me, I would say I lost my job due to bad luck or the economy and they were looking for an excuse. Lots of people lose jobs wo alcohol... I have been fired before even, that I lost a spouse because we grew apart. Lots of people lose spouses without alcohol... and that I got a DUI because my tolerance wasn't high enough since I'm not an alcoholic and EVERYONE KNOWS that SUBSTANCE ABUSERS rather than those DEPENDENT on alcohol are generally the ones who get DUIs. If I got into a fight, I figure it wasn't alcohol, it was my temper and lack of patience. NOTHING would be blamed on alcohol. I openly admit I'm a fairly bad substance abuser! Just not physically dependent (I'm probably psychologically dependent but that doesn't make me alcoholic) and yeah, there is a difference!
So what would it take? Maybe certain threats of losing a career, maybe certain threats of losing my husband only if in both of these cases alcohol was DIRECTLY stated as the ONLY reason! If I showed up late too often from drinking the night before and lost my job, I wouldn't blame the alcohol for instance... I'd blame laziness or the company for not understanding how terrible I felt. This probably puts me in a hazard category because I don't know. Even death I'd assume it was just my time. Point is I WANT to change that I just haven't been able to convince myself to.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 5
"Many 'alcoholics' from my understanding start YOUNG."
I have a friend who took her first drink at 50. By the time she was 55 she was in the AA rooms. Go figure......
I wish you awareness and for the desire to stop drinking to be bigger then the desire to continue as you are.
I have a friend who took her first drink at 50. By the time she was 55 she was in the AA rooms. Go figure......
I wish you awareness and for the desire to stop drinking to be bigger then the desire to continue as you are.
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Laura,
Well I am glad you gave it some thought. Your answers are revealing to the extent alcohol has its grips on you.
Is there any chance you can go to AA when you are at your parents, away from work/school, if you are worried about anonymity? It would be good to go to some meetings and just see what goes on, identify with others, get some contact numbers.
Take care.
Well I am glad you gave it some thought. Your answers are revealing to the extent alcohol has its grips on you.
Is there any chance you can go to AA when you are at your parents, away from work/school, if you are worried about anonymity? It would be good to go to some meetings and just see what goes on, identify with others, get some contact numbers.
Take care.
Focus
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Interesting thoughts / solutions guys. Thanks.
Sugah... 3 dentists in AA just that you know of, eh? You know unfortunately, there is such a stereotype about dentists being substance abusers and suicidal weirdos. Let's hope it's not ACTUALLY the standard. Dentistry is consistantly ranked among the highest stressed professions. I also hope I can personally learn to deal with stress in a better way if that's the case.
Sugah... 3 dentists in AA just that you know of, eh? You know unfortunately, there is such a stereotype about dentists being substance abusers and suicidal weirdos. Let's hope it's not ACTUALLY the standard. Dentistry is consistantly ranked among the highest stressed professions. I also hope I can personally learn to deal with stress in a better way if that's the case.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Laura...
I didn't lose everything, get a DUI and end up in jail.
I am a professional woman, still have my family, my home, etc.....
I am an alcoholic.
Even though I "thought" I had everything, alcohol the soul, my essence, the very core of who I am right out.
Once I admitted to myself that even though I hadn't lost it all, I could. I had to decide
what I wanted..and I wanted to be sober.
Then I sought out others, who were sober to see what their solution was.
I found my answers there..once I was willing to hear them.
I didn't lose everything, get a DUI and end up in jail.
I am a professional woman, still have my family, my home, etc.....
I am an alcoholic.
Even though I "thought" I had everything, alcohol the soul, my essence, the very core of who I am right out.
Once I admitted to myself that even though I hadn't lost it all, I could. I had to decide
what I wanted..and I wanted to be sober.
Then I sought out others, who were sober to see what their solution was.
I found my answers there..once I was willing to hear them.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
Originally Posted by lauraandersen4
Interesting thoughts / solutions guys. Thanks.
Sugah... 3 dentists in AA just that you know of, eh? You know unfortunately, there is such a stereotype about dentists being substance abusers and suicidal weirdos. Let's hope it's not ACTUALLY the standard. Dentistry is consistantly ranked among the highest stressed professions. I also hope I can personally learn to deal with stress in a better way if that's the case.
Sugah... 3 dentists in AA just that you know of, eh? You know unfortunately, there is such a stereotype about dentists being substance abusers and suicidal weirdos. Let's hope it's not ACTUALLY the standard. Dentistry is consistantly ranked among the highest stressed professions. I also hope I can personally learn to deal with stress in a better way if that's the case.
I also know quite a large number of physicians (MDs, surgeons, physician's assistants, psychiatrists), a larger number of nurses, pharmacists, attorneys (my husband is one), politicians, probation officers, architects, teachers/professors, guidance counselors, school principals, artists, writers (I'm one), various business owners, stock brokers, accountants, clergy, etc....
And, if you consider education & prosperity to be markers of intelligence (though I know a whole lot of intelligent alcoholics without formal education who live, by choice or circumstances, very simply), that says to me that we can't out think this thing.
I'll reiterate the suggestion given in response to the title of your thread: try AA. If, that is, you want to quit drinking. If you don't and you're alcoholic, wait awhile. Alcohol has a way of beating us into submission. Just takes longer for some than others.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
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