Blogs


Notices

advice PLEASE

Old 01-08-2010, 11:33 AM
  # 201 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST View Post
The only people who can possibly understand an alcoholic is another alcoholic. No medical professor or psychologist or genius can possibly understand alcoholism. Only someone who has been there themselves and knows the score and has then found the solution knows the answer to solving this crippling condition that will kill you and take every ounce of self-respect and dignity you have with it.
I ain't a "problem drinker" I'm an alcoholic. Two entirely separate entities. As far away as you can get from one another. I can only speak for myself but I suspect many here would also hold a similar viewpoint.

When I had finally got beaten down sufficiently to the point where I would finally live in the solution and not in the problem I stood a chance of sobriety. 'Recovery' from alcoholism is so much more than merely stopping drinking. Thats the easy part, you have to learn to totally change your outlook/psyche and take on the world and your role within it and realise that for an alcoholic to take a drink means total and utter despair, chaos and ultimately death. The only path for an alcoholic who refusues to ackowledge total sobriety and that it's themselves who is the problem is death. prison or mental institution. Thats the reality.

Ask yourself this simple question... Is your currently held "standpoint" on all of this gonna keep you drinking? If so then maybe alcohol is more cunning, baffling and powerful than you give it credit for.
NEOMARXIST is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 12:03 PM
  # 202 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by daphne View Post
.....you are saying the ends justify giving up any exploring of the "means" giving up your opinions and views.
No, that's what you're saying. I'm saying exactly what I said. Here are a bunch of people who have demonstrated by their own, real time, living examples, how to stay sober and be happy with life.

If you want that for yourself, you might want to do what they do instead of discussing with them why you don't agree with the philosophy behind what they do.
keithj is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 12:35 PM
  # 203 (permalink)  
Member
 
ANEWAUGUST's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
IMHO- it is how the alcohol affects us that defines the problem, not, the quantity, nor the frequency. If (as you say) it has created a craving for you, then, I would consider
that a problem.

I had over 5 years of sobriety until this year. I realized alcohol had become a problem in my life. I DID NOT attend AA meetings. I did read the BigBook and have online support.

However, not until I entered the rooms of AA did I understand the BigBook. The program of AA is not a self study program, it is a fellowship.

I too thought it "cult" like, etc. Those assumptions were based on ignorance. Until you have sat in the rooms, and worked with a sponsor or other alcoholic that can interpret the BigBook for you, no one is in a position to judge AA.

I wouldn't buy the books and send my child to school without a teacher there to educate and guide them. The same is true of AA., merely getting the book and reading it, is not learning the program and suggested steps of AA.

Don't knock something until you try it., and don't be surprised if when you try it, you like it.

Peace
ANEWAUGUST is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 12:36 PM
  # 204 (permalink)  
not little, a stranger no more
 
Lionne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: in the crowd
Posts: 410
Blog Entries: 1
Surely that depends on the amount of alcohol one is consuming . The degree of your habit. Some drink so much that it effects reasoning and thought processes to the extent they cannot explore their problems
You are right about this, but there is still another dimension to this and I didn't explain properly. I was also referring to alcohol making you feel artificially good and relaxed even when you are not. It temporarily seems to fix things, and so you go back to it all the time but the cause why you are f.e. not feeling so good and stressed will stay. Past a certain point, alcohol then can become an additional problem on top of the rest
Lionne is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:14 PM
  # 205 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Alcohol is not a cunning sly person ! wish you would stop talking about it like it is one
I disagree with your view that a problem drinker and an alcoholic are two entirely different entities, they are IMO part of one continuum
Anyway nobody has given me any concrete tips to help me with stopping on Mon
daphne is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:16 PM
  # 206 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by littlestranger View Post
You are right about this, but there is still another dimension to this and I didn't explain properly. I was also referring to alcohol making you feel artificially good and relaxed even when you are not. It temporarily seems to fix things, and so you go back to it all the time but the cause why you are f.e. not feeling so good and stressed will stay. Past a certain point, alcohol then can become an additional problem on top of the rest
totally agree with you. Was thinking about maybe getting some counselling (woudl have to pay for it ) did you?
daphne is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:17 PM
  # 207 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Don't drink is my concrete tip.

Alcohol isn't but my alcohol addicted brain cells are. They will tell me and get me to do anything if they think that will lead them to getting what they want ie- alcohol.

BTW I have learned through my own experience to think like this since I have learned about alcoholism and addiction. I am happy with the way that I view alcoholism at the moment as it's keeping me sober One day at a time. The day that changes I will have to reconsider my views. At the end of the day thats all I'm interested in really ie- keeping sober and actually feeling peacefull and happy/glad that I am sober. Being sober is totally different differnt to being "dry". I experienced "dry" spells (usually lasting a couple of weeks) but then I realised that my way of thinking and doing things was just keeping me in the same vicous cycle of bingeing every few weeks.So I looked to others who drank and thought simialr to me and took their advice/wisdom on what kept them sober. I choose AA and SR.

BTW I am very much an individual. Just that recovery has given me a new "pair of glasses" to view the world through. Still my eyes but viewed through a pair of glasses that will help me stay sober. Which is what I want more than anything as without my sobriety I will have nothing but with it, I have everything to live for.


All The Best.
NEOMARXIST is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:17 PM
  # 208 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 57,084
Daphne, what worked for me in the early days was to change my daily routines. I had to plan to be doing something specific at the times when I would have been drinking. I had to be out or with my husband, definitely. Change the places you shop, the way you drive home from work, the time you have dinner - all those things help to break the habit of craving alcohol.

And, know that there are no simple answers or tricks. As Neo said, Don't drink.
Anna is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:18 PM
  # 209 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 127
Stark Truth Alert- AA has no business being in this thread.
jaitch is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:22 PM
  # 210 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by ANEWAUGUST View Post
IMHO- it is how the alcohol affects us that defines the problem, not, the quantity, nor the frequency. If (as you say) it has created a craving for you, then, I would consider
that a problem.

I had over 5 years of sobriety until this year. I realized alcohol had become a problem in my life. I DID NOT attend AA meetings. I did read the BigBook and have online support.

However, not until I entered the rooms of AA did I understand the BigBook. The program of AA is not a self study program, it is a fellowship.

I too thought it "cult" like, etc. Those assumptions were based on ignorance. Until you have sat in the rooms, and worked with a sponsor or other alcoholic that can interpret the BigBook for you, no one is in a position to judge AA.

I wouldn't buy the books and send my child to school without a teacher there to educate and guide them. The same is true of AA., merely getting the book and reading it, is not learning the program and suggested steps of AA.

Don't knock something until you try it., and don't be surprised if when you try it, you like it.

Peace
Just been reading about a guy who tried to investigate the AA in US , pretty shocking reading the way the "members" closed ranks and used all sorts of dirty tricks to undermine his research.
anyway I think I have said enough about AA read a lot and it sure is NOT for me and yes I can dismiss it without trying it. I have never injected heroin but from what I have read and heard about it I know it is not for me. I can "knock it without trying it"
Its a spurious arguement that to reject something as unsuitable you have to have tried it firsthand. Judgements do not have to be from direct experience for them to be valid.
daphne is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:24 PM
  # 211 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mark75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Well, Daphne... Keep coming back. If you are serious about not drinking and if you are an alcoholic... you will find much truth in many of the paradoxes that have been spoken here.

Good luck to you

Mark
Mark75 is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:25 PM
  # 212 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Daphne, what worked for me in the early days was to change my daily routines. I had to plan to be doing something specific at the times when I would have been drinking. I had to be out or with my husband, definitely. Change the places you shop, the way you drive home from work, the time you have dinner - all those things help to break the habit of craving alcohol.

And, know that there are no simple answers or tricks. As Neo said, Don't drink.
Anna that sounds good advice. I always like a drink when I get in from work as I am home first it my "chill" time But then I often have more, sometime too much.
So if I found something to do when I get in from work , something new to break my routine
Yes I can see that working Thanks
daphne is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:29 PM
  # 213 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST View Post
Don't drink is my concrete tip.

Alcohol isn't but my alcohol addicted brain cells are. They will tell me and get me to do anything if they think that will lead them to getting what they want ie- alcohol.

BTW I have learned through my own experience to think like this since I have learned about alcoholism and addiction. I am happy with the way that I view alcoholism at the moment as it's keeping me sober One day at a time. The day that changes I will have to reconsider my views. At the end of the day thats all I'm interested in really ie- keeping sober and actually feeling peacefull and happy/glad that I am sober. Being sober is totally different differnt to being "dry". I experienced "dry" spells (usually lasting a couple of weeks) but then I realised that my way of thinking and doing things was just keeping me in the same vicous cycle of bingeing every few weeks.So I looked to others who drank and thought simialr to me and took their advice/wisdom on what kept them sober. I choose AA and SR.

BTW I am very much an individual. Just that recovery has given me a new "pair of glasses" to view the world through. Still my eyes but viewed through a pair of glasses that will help me stay sober. Which is what I want more than anything as without my sobriety I will have nothing but with it, I have everything to live for.


All The Best.
mmmmmmmmmmm thanks for the concrete tip neomarxist ! If it was that simple wouldn't the world be a very different place
Was watching TV today and as its New Year resolution time I noticed lots of ads for products for stopping smoking (patches, gum etc ) Got to thinking why do they never advertise products or services on mainstream TV for stopping alcohol. It kills as many as smoking (more maybe if you count homocide, violence, drunk driving)
daphne is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:35 PM
  # 214 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Thanks

Hey been so carried away with this posting and debating I have forgotten to say thanks to everyone for responding , even those of you whom I do not share the same outlook it has been challenging and thought provoking. although I am not a convert to AA have learned a lot and thought a lot about my drinking.
Thanks very very much
daphne is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:42 PM
  # 215 (permalink)  
Member
 
ANEWAUGUST's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Best of Luck Daphne
ANEWAUGUST is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:52 PM
  # 216 (permalink)  
New Guy!
 
Ghostman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by daphne View Post
Hi there
Looking for some motivation to stop drinking.
My story in brief
I have drank since I was 14. My social life involves wine and lots of it.
Wow we have had some great times.
I love alcohol.
I have a great social life,enjoyable career, great relationships, great family/kids and should be in my prime. I am successful and an intellegent likeable woman (so they say ).
A few years ago a health problem highlighted problems with my liver function, Multitude of tests revealed no clear diagnosis. I was told in Aug to quit alcohol and I did for 6 long weeks. I would love to say I felt great but I did not, I missed my drink!. A demotivator was my blood results did not get better with abstenance.

I am now back drinking again despite have 3 health conditions that state I shouldn't. Over the years my tolerance has increased and my overall consupmtion with it.

This made me realise how dependant I am on it. I crave a drink on my return from work every evening. I even want a drink when I am ill. I drink to celebrate and sypathise. I drink to drown my sorrows and to count my blessings. I drink to cure a hangover. I reward myself with drink. I drink because life is too short. I drink because I am happy and because I am sad. I drink. You get the idea!!

Having worked professionally in this field (psychology) I am relectant to seek help. I know and preach all the theories about behaviour change. I am too embarssed by the stigma to seek support.
Can I or should i stop all together OR cut down? Tried both too hard
The thought of a life without alcohol seems one boring life.A long dry road into a social desert i do not want to go down.
Sure I have done the odd thing I regret when drunk in the past (i.e.sex) but I have never had any blackouts or humiliating experiences. Alcohol has honestly given me more joy and fun than problems.
I know however if I carry on drinking my health will be seriously effected and the docs have told me to quit completely.
Any ideas?
Anyone relate to my situation
Thanks for listening/reading guys
Yes, I never had that problem myself until just recently!!
I don't drink hard liquor, just beer, always beer.
But recently, I had been doing it more and more, and this is the first time I had difficulty slowing down!
I am glad I found this site, cause I see others have the same issues..
By the way, I hope you drink lots of water? Because weather you drink or not, it will help flush out your liver.

Oh and Scotland is very nice by the way, I had been there a few times, I used to live near London when I was a kid.

Take Care.
Ghostman is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:54 PM
  # 217 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 201,206
Blog Entries: 1
I think it's been said before here Daphne - if you don't like AA, don't do it.
There are other ways to get sober, and every AA member here will admit that.

This thread should be about you, and what you can/might do - what you or anybody else thinks of AA is a diversion here IMO, and I don't think it's in your best interests to get bogged down in diversions.

I'm pleased you're considering counselling. Please do check out that link to recovery sites someone else posted too.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 01:59 PM
  # 218 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by Ghostman View Post
Yes, I never had that problem myself until just recently!!
I don't drink hard liquor, just beer, always beer.
But recently, I had been doing it more and more, and this is the first time I had difficulty slowing down!
I am glad I found this site, cause I see others have the same issues..
By the way, I hope you drink lots of water? Because weather you drink or not, it will help flush out your liver.

Oh and Scotland is very nice by the way, I had been there a few times, I used to live near London when I was a kid.

Take Care.
thanks for your best wishes , hope you get to where you want to be to in terms of alcohol.
Yep Scotland is a bonnie place!
daphne is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 02:09 PM
  # 219 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I think it's been said before here Daphne - if you don't like AA, don't do it.
There are other ways to get sober, and every AA member here will admit that.

This thread should be about you, and what you can/might do - what you or anybody else thinks of AA is a diversion here IMO, and I don't think it's in your best interests to get bogged down in diversions.

I'm pleased you're considering counselling. Please do check out that link to recovery sites someone else posted too.

D
Thank you Dee
I will think about the counselling. Tried a few sessions when my marriage split up 5 years ago. Problem is I am "in the trade" so to speak , so I was anticipating and evaluating the counsellor! Bit like a car mechanic watching another mechanic fix his car!
I have had a LOT of trauma in my life and some serious issues in my past to deal with
When I drank at 14 it was to get drunk and blot out the pain around me. i remember hiding bottles under my bed, waking up in parks unconscious, not knowing how I got home At 14 !! and of course being young and attractive lots of high risks situations with men.
looking back I was only a child yet nobody even noticed I was drinking so much.
My alcohol use then settled for a while but returned in my early 20's when I had more trauma and then postnatal depression. Its been up and down since.
I could write a book on my past seriously I could
maybe the cushion of drink helps me not dwell on the past as I do not think about it.
My problem is I remember the "highs" and maybe gloss over/repress the lows . the good times not the bad - its a survival tactic i must have needed in my upbringing
When I was 20 i got heavily into drugs for about 6 months. I still remember the glorious high I had after taking a lot of amphetamines one night. I was so full of energy and euphoric. Everything in the world felt so bloody brilliant. I felt invinsible! It was amazing.
I have done lots in my life since and can't replicate that feeling, childbirth, abseiling, used to run /exercise for miles, sailed boats, climbed mountains. But nothing has replicated that feeling of euphoria, sad eh
daphne is offline  
Old 01-08-2010, 02:25 PM
  # 220 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 201,206
Blog Entries: 1
I spent 20 years trying to chase that first moment of euphoria...I think most, if not all, of us did.

Drink was my cushion too...it was my way of dealing with the things I found undealable.
Unfortunately the drink came to dwarf all my other problems - even outlived some of them.

Looking back over the wreckage of 20 years, I wish I'd just gone to a counsellor instead

D
Dee74 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:31 PM.