Notices

New here and taking the plunge

Old 01-04-2010, 09:30 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 69
New here and taking the plunge

Well here goes...I came into these forums incredibly nervous to post, but after reading so many stories that I could relate to I decided to take the plunge. So Hello everyone!

To put it in a nutshell for now, I am a young woman struggling with prescription drug addiction (sadly so common these days) I did a 3 month stent of sobriety but just couldn't maintain because I was sure I could "handle it myself, I didn't have time for meetings, I don't want anyone to know" and pretty much every other stupid excuse I could try to justify (lie) to myself with.

Even though I am young and should be in the prime of my youth I feel incredibly deteriorated and just a shell of my former goal driven and cheerful self. I am SICK of my entire world revolving around my drug supply, the anxiety of being without it, the money, the lies ALL of it just has to go. Something must change for me or I fear that I will look back 20 years from now and realize I have sunk all my money and all my youthful years into something that is going to end up killing me. That I will continue spiraling down until the few friends and family (that are still talking to me) are gone for good.

But I am scared of the change, I fear facing the world and my problems without my fix. It's that fear of change that has kept me from getting serious before, can I function without those pills after so long? Right now, I don't care, this is something that must be done for my own survival and I will do whatever it takes to make it

Thank you so much to everyone for their honesty, which has in turn inspired mine.
Thera is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:37 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
We Do Recover
 
ANGELINA243's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Welcome! Glad you are here. There is hope. We do recover.
ANGELINA243 is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:38 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
silentone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 38
Hi Thera,

You can do this. I was right where you where not long ago, and you are doing the right thing, putting yourself out there.

Welcome, and (((hugs)))
silentone is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:40 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
same planet...different world
 
barb dwyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
welcome!
barb dwyer is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:41 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 69
Thank you so much, wow that was quick. The support feels wonderful already
Thera is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:44 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Nonexistent Willpower
 
Stereosteveo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 439
Nice move.
Just keep being honest.
Your addiction will die hating you for it.
Stereosteveo is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:47 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,782
Welcome Thera

You'll find a lot of support here
Free free to check out our substance abuse forum too

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:49 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
blackbirdsing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 133
Hi and welcome
blackbirdsing is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:50 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 69
I do have a question maybe a few people could give me input on. I come from one of those families where you play a good front and keep your problems hidden. Here, in the forums, surrounded by all of you who have been or are where I am at it's easier to talk about. But I realize I need support locally and I am unsure as to how to talk about it to my friends and my mother. They know I have a problem but I am committed and I want them with me for this.
Thera is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 10:01 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,782
Some people tell everyone and lay it all out - I did.

Others say nothing and confine their sharing to places like this or face to face supports like NA/AA.

Either way can work - it's a personal decision.

My family was always one not to talk about their problems, so although I just came right out with it and told them I was an alcoholic...they thought I was 'too emotional and overreacting'.

Even without that support, I found good support here, others find good support with face to face groups.

I hope your family will give you more - my family is spectacularly dysfunctional

My advice is to read around here a little more, get other peoples experiences...if you decide to tell them...I'd be as honest and open as possible....'just the facts ma'am' stuff.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 11:19 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Living in the moment!
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Wondering where I belong!
Posts: 126
Thera,

Welcome to SR.......I understand about the pills....
just a constant ache that will NOT go away!! GGRrrrrrr

So happy that you are recognizing this early in life......
why live another day giving your power away!! Good for you for
making a very big first step by reaching out!!

I know you will find fantastic support here! I am new myself,
Day 4 of my journey and I have found wonderful words
of encouragement and loving support with SR!! Read, Post,
Read, Post, Read, Post......so far so good!!!!
InsideOut is offline  
Old 01-04-2010, 11:22 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Living in the moment!
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Wondering where I belong!
Posts: 126
Smile

Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
my family is spectacularly dysfunctional
D
Dee, this cracks me up!!

I am also enjoying following your posts around the board!! Such
words of wisdom, kind encouragement and no BS!!

Thank you, just want I need today!!
InsideOut is offline  
Old 01-05-2010, 12:54 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
20/12/09
 
lionheart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 199
Originally Posted by Thera View Post
I do have a question maybe a few people could give me input on. I come from one of those families where you play a good front and keep your problems hidden. Here, in the forums, surrounded by all of you who have been or are where I am at it's easier to talk about. But I realize I need support locally and I am unsure as to how to talk about it to my friends and my mother. They know I have a problem but I am committed and I want them with me for this.
Firstly Welcome...

If your family and friends already know of your problem and are still around, will they stay around when you tell them you are getting help for it? I would like to think so. Also people here told me it was a good idea to get to meetings, maybe something you can search out for yourself.

Hang in there, keep posting and if you feel its right to tell people, then dive in head first.

LH
lionheart is offline  
Old 01-05-2010, 08:05 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 69
Thanks so much for everyone's words, meetings were another thing I browsed up while online last night. I found one at a good time on Thursday evening and was all ready to go to it. Then I got to thinking and decided that if I don't take that first step now, today, I might freeze up. So, I'm leaving work early to go, wish me luck! Excited but oh so nervous.
Thera is offline  
Old 01-05-2010, 09:31 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
louis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Hi and welcome

Good for you in taking the first step today...
Today is the only day we need worry about...
I need to do things today... because if i give myself too much time to think i can come up with all sots of excuses why i cant do them...
Be proud of yourself for taking that step forward
louis is offline  
Old 01-05-2010, 09:51 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: fragmented
Posts: 84
We sound exactly the same. Our world revolving around supply, worry about how to face the world without a fix, putting up the brave front for family, the shame, the anxiety. But, as I read on this forum, I get little truths here and there that make me believe it is all worth it. And there is something in me that knows it is all worth it. I just pray each day that "something" takes over my entire brain. I am a "relatively" young mother of two with a great husband and a wonderful life. But I can see the writing on the wall that I do not want to be the cause of any harm to my family due to this addiction, and that is where we ultimately are headed. I worry, like you, about wasting my prime of life feeling like this.

Please stay here and post. I think we need to keep eachother company.
AlonebutHopeful is offline  
Old 01-05-2010, 09:03 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 69
Thanks everyone, all the encouragement means so much. And you're absolutely right Alonebuthopeful it's really no way to live at all...kinda like chasing your own tail I suppose. I felt like such a nut today without some sort of pick me up at work. I found myself just closing my eyes are saying "I WILL stay sober, no questions asked dangit" True to my word I did go to the first NA meeting, I was so so scared to walk into the room and was thinking every person would turn and stare at me. But, they all greeted me warmly and they just let introduce myself and why I was there and didn't press me to talk if I felt really uncomfortable. I wanted to talk but I just couldn't get it out, I go again Thursday. Maybe I'll try again *deep breath*

PS - Alonebuthopeful, company is ALWAYS welcome
Thera is offline  
Old 01-05-2010, 09:13 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
mirage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,577
Good for you, Thera! Welcome to SR...sounds like you're ready to take the bull by the horns! Hope you stick around and let us know how it's going.
mirage is offline  
Old 01-05-2010, 09:28 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 10
Great to hear that you went to the meeting.
I remember how long it took for me to speak......I just sat and listioned for the longest time but I got so much out of it...then I got the courage over time to start talking.
dawningday is offline  
Old 01-05-2010, 09:29 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 127
Hello Thera I never like to wish luck, I will wish you Power.
jaitch is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:57 PM.