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Don't know if I want to recover

Old 01-07-2010, 04:17 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Once the booze is gone from my system I'll try and hit the gym.
And after the gym becomes boring and some other depressing thing comes along, what then?

The ONLY way I found to stay sober was to surrender to the fact that I could not stay sober ALONE, trying to stay sober MY WAY!!!

1,207 days ago was my first sober day in over 5 years, I did not stay sober that day ALONE or doing it MY WAY!!! I admitted defeat, alcohol owned me, I went to a Dr. who specialized in Alcoholism and I asked for help! He put me in detox where I continued to ask for help, the help they gave me besides the meds and educating me on alcoholism was to STRONGLY suggest to continue to seek help by going to at least 90 AA meetings and get a sponsor.

Well I went to AA & got a sponsor, I continued to ask for help and the folks in AA told me there was a common solution they and millions of other alcoholics had found and that was taking the 12 steps of AA and being an active member of the fellowship of AA.

I remain sober today, I have not obsessed over drinking in a long time, I live a new life with a new solution, life continues to be life, but I deal with life on a daily basis without even the thought of having a drink to resolve, escape, or celebrate anything, you see MY WAY of staying sober was a complete failure that damn near killed me.

The specialist I saw did not tell me "Martin, just stop drinking and go to the gym and all will be well.", he sent me to detox which he knew would reccommend AA, he knew that I stood a chance at staying sober as long as I realized that MY WAY, did not work.
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Old 01-07-2010, 04:25 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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So many people will say that "drinking will just make things worse" but no one realizes how we see drugs and alcohol. As an addict, it is virtually impossible to think 2 steps ahead. All we know is the bottle or the drug can numb us or dilute the pain we feel. We cannot rationalize things in the big picture as you can when you are sober. I used to preach that way when I was 100% sober. Now, as an addict, I KNOW you must live this hell to full grasp its power and destruction. How to beat the hell of addiction will most certainly be different for each person but one thing is universal and that is our brains are re wired. I believe THIS is where the change must begin. To "tough it out" has a HORRIBLE success rate. We need to find ways to "re wire" our brains back to normal. I am looking for my way as well. I wish you all the best in your struggles. I am with you all. Rob
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:18 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ElChupacabra View Post
For two months, pretty much daily, I have been binge drinking.

It's a cycle that repeats itself.

In the past three years I have had one stress after another and now I find myself in a difficult position. I suppose what in effect I am saying is that I am emotionally and physically exhausted and and having great difficulty in finding the motivtion to put down the bottle and pick up life again.
I can sense your frustration and despair. But you can do this. Look at your own words here. It just seems to me that it's the alcohol that is causing all the problems. Life is full of stress. We all have things that stress us out each and every day. But how we deal with it is what can make us feel good about ourselves or feel like worthless and unloveable fools. But we alcoholics are more than that. You can stop the vicious cycle that you refer to.

You said that you're not sure that you want to stop. Well, none of us can really help you until you want to help yourself. The way to do that is to stop the drinking and start positive thinking. You have to start somewhere, EC. Start with the alcohol. Again, make it the number one thing to do. Make the decision to stop today. Stop the vicious cycle so that you can get better and move on with your life without the alcohol.
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Old 01-07-2010, 07:37 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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There are no problems in your life that binge/daily drinking won't make worse! That's a fact i've learned from experience. Check out a meeting. It might be what you're looking for. Good luck!
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Old 01-16-2010, 12:58 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I have to say I am very grateful for all your messages.

I woke up today and felt like death, not so much from withdrawals (I am still drinking, bit now am trying to taper off), but just the post booze depression and the fact that, once again, I had to wake up to an unhappy life.

What I want to know is that if I do not succeed, is it possible to go to AA while still drinking and then try to stop while attending?
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Old 01-16-2010, 01:03 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I've seen many posts by longtime AA and SR members that suggest it's very possible, El C

D
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Old 01-16-2010, 04:14 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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yes, you can go to AA while you are still drinking. Tradition 3 states the only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking. I have seen people there who were still drinking but wanted to stop, and they received a lot of support. Give it a go, there are loads of meetings in London.
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Old 01-16-2010, 06:11 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Hi El,

The only requirement for AA membership is a "desire to stop drinking" . It would be better if you could go in there when you are not drunk......but please do what you have to do to get there!

There are loads of meetings in London. Have a look at the website, find one that is on today and just go. Honestly, you will feel so much better than you do right now. Take take a deep breath and walk through the door. Everyone is nervous at first but you will find a room full of people who know exactly how you are feeling and they will be able to give you a solution.

Let us know how you get on.
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Old 01-16-2010, 06:28 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Welcome back to SR....

AA? please check this out

Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers

Good to see you again
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Old 01-16-2010, 07:02 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Do you have to arrange an appointment, or just show up?
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Old 01-16-2010, 07:13 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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just show up....take a couple of quid for the basket.
and an open mind.

where about in london are you?
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Old 01-16-2010, 08:40 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ElChupacabra View Post
What I want to know is that if I do not succeed, is it possible to go to AA while still drinking and then try to stop while attending?
Damn right it is. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking."

I drank on/off my first year in AA. It was a learning experience really. I didn't think they were describing me. But as I continued to drink I realized I was just like them.
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Old 01-16-2010, 11:26 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Many come and many go.
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Old 01-16-2010, 10:47 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Stereosteveo View Post
Damn right it is. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking."

I drank on/off my first year in AA. It was a learning experience really. I didn't think they were describing me. But as I continued to drink I realized I was just like them.
Yeah. I think that's what I need right now. Someone to start showing me the way. As good as SR is, it's not quite the same as face to face contact with someone.
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Old 01-16-2010, 11:10 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ElChupacabra View Post
Yeah. I think that's what I need right now. Someone to start showing me the way. As good as SR is, it's not quite the same as face to face contact with someone.
As has already been said, all you need is a desire to stop drinking and you know you have that!

In the roooms there are people like you, that understand what you are going through and will welcome you. Keep going back, it's not that much of an effort really to get to a meeting for an hour or so, make some friends, get some numbers, see if anyone fancies shooting the breeze over a coffee...just what normal people call socialising;-) And listen whilst you are there to people sharing. That's it for now...

Just go, keep an open mind and feel relieved that you are not alone...enjoy and let us know how you get on please:-)
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