Shifty

Newbie here,

Been lurking here for a while and thought It would be best to register.

I'm a guy in my early 30's. I've grown up in a culture of heavy drinking. I was always the guy that was first to arrive and last to leave any event where I could get smashed. In the more recent years I've been drinking at home, often employing the sneaky tactics of hiding the empties, pretending I'm working in the shed, opening a new beer out of view etc, so as not to get the unwanted attention from my partner.

I'm not keen on wearing a label as there are people here that have gone a lot further down the road than I have but I know I have an issue with alcohol. I have a huge tolerance that increased over the years to where I am now; cracking open my 3rd six-pack in one session. Silly thing is, I always only buy 1 six-pack because that's all i intend to drink, then I risk getting a DUI when I jump in the car to go and get more - Every time!

I know this has got to stop. Drinking is making permanently miserable, I don't even get a good buzz anymore, I just drink until I pass out on the safety of my couch. I can't tell you the amount of times I've gone to the movie store only to be told "you've had this movie out 3 times already".

I want to stop drinking but for some stupid reason I have this irrational idea that the further I sink the easier it will be to convince myself I have a REAL problem. There is so much talk of what classifies an alcoholic, maybe that's why I haven't been able to stay quit when I have tried in the past.

I have so much regret and shame from my years of drinking: The black outs, fights etc. It's given me nothing but suffering. I hope I can do it this time...

sunshinebaby

Hi from a fellow Queenslander! I bet you can do it, I have just rejoined here and didn't want to say I was an alcoholic because I only binge drink. I can go weeks etc without drinking, but when I binge drink, I drink at home, hide it from my husband, spent so much money on alcohol etc etc

But I can see the progressive pattern in my life from not drinking alot in the early days to drinking 3 or 4 nights a week....and not doing things with my kids.

So whatever label you put on yourself, if you have recognised that you have a problem, that is what matters and you are doing something about it. Welcome!

Ananda

Glad you are here and boy do I relate!

Yep....I often only intended to drink one bottle, or for only one day....and have risked getting a DUI over and over...


This is exactly where I was at....just change the last sentance to my son telling me we've watched this movie 3 times already.

If you want to stay sober posting on SR is is a good start...Sobriety is a we thing....from what I've seen it seems that people who drink like we drink rarely get sober by themselves.

Dee74

Hi Shifty

Make that a trifecta of Queenslanders LOL

Your story is familiar to me

SB is right - labels don't matter as much as doing something about it - comparisons don't mean much either - I could always find someone worse than me to convince myself I was ok....

it's clearly impacting your life...it's time to do something, don't you think?.

Don't be like me - I figured I'd do something about it 'someday'...meanwhile I lost everything, ended up drinking all day everyday, and nearly died.

You'll find a lot of support here, Shifty, and encouragement. Just read around, post whenever you want...and my advice is see a Doc if you've been drinking heavily and regularly for a while. Detox can sometimes make you feel pretty bad.

Welcome to SR
D

OZboy

..a quadruple of Queenslanders..welcome..Ozy..

my 'binge' days,end up in nowhere land..

..lets all try for a sober 2010...

Lenina

Shifty,

Welcome to SR! Thanks for joining us! You'll find a lot of great people and good support here. As others have said, the label doesn't matter. What matters is your health and happiness. So, see what works for you. I'm sure, like me, you know what doesn't work!

Don't be afraid to reach out for help!

Love,

Lenina

Stereosteveo

Yeah I thought the same thing years before I sought recovery. And it's probably true to some extent. In my case I wan't an alcoholic. But the more I learned about the abnormal way I drink, the harder it became to enjoy it. Then one day I became one of "them."

What I'm saying here is pays to hang around the rooms even if you have just the slightest inclination you want to stop, even if you keep drinking in the meantime that's OK.

jamdls

hi shifty welcome to SR-labels suck many alcoholics tell me I'm not an alcoholic because I didn't drink every day-never drank in the morning-was able to stop drinking w/o any formal program-and assorted other reasons. however, I had a drinking problem i drank until i passed out was a total black out drunk and have almost no memory of decades of my life and nearly ended my life via alcohol. I think if your problem is bad enough that it makes you miserable and you know that you can't as a rule have just 1 drink then you've got a problem and you should stop. SR is a great place full of lots of people that will relate to you so keep posting.

Shifty

Thanks for the replies everyone.

My last drink was on NYE, well, I say "drink" but what I really mean was I was a mess. A 6 pack before I went to a party where I had another 12 beers and cocktails and shots, and, and... You get my drift.

On a normal week Mondays is always no drink day. I've had such a skin-full over the weekend I find it much easier to convince myself I have to give up. Roll on Tuesday, I'll grab a 6 on the way home from work because Mondays resolve is all but a distant memory. This is the same for the rest of the week until Friday, Sat, Sun when I'll easy tuck into around 12 beers a day, coz it's the weekend after all!

I don't want to have 1 or 2 drinks. I'd rather have none if I know I can't drink myself into a coma. You'd think the alarm bells would be ringing at this point, yet I still repeat this same cycle week after week.

I have stopped drinking on previous occasions, in fact, I stopped for 5 days a couple of weeks ago but then drank again for some highly convincing reason that I forgot already. That's part of the trouble I think, The longer time goes by whilst not drinking the harder it is to really feel those reasons that made you stop. The little justification voice comes and stands right in from of my view and I struggle to see those reasons with the determination I had when I made the decision to stop.

SR is my only place for support. I live in a small town, although there is an AA group here, I'll probably walk in and recognise most of them, so that's out of the question for now. I do understand that this is going to be near impossible with will power alone so I'm open to ideas.

lionheart

Hey Shifty

Welcome to another Aussie - not a QLD'er but NSW rival haha just kidding.

You will find tremendous support here and there are actually alot of aussies and others who are new so are going through all the things you are.

I remember a similar post I wrote here when I found this place - I was intoxicated by the time I logged out, not good but people here do not judge which is fantastic.

The fact that you are here speaks volumes - congrats on taking a baby step forward!

Take care
LH

sunshinebaby

Ha, don't get me started on the footy debate. I live in Qld but I am a cockroach through and through (usa people may need an explanation!!!!)

lionheart

Ok so every year there is a competition of Rugby League that is between 2 states - Queensland and New South Wales.

It gets quite competitive between the states and people travel between the states to cheer on their teams. Usually there are alot of drunken people who end up in fights and all sorts of crazy things (that we no longer take part in, right sunshine?!)

Its usually in good fun - im not much into the footy, but this is one of the times I watch (and also poke fun at my boss' boss who is a QLD'er).

Horselover

Welcome to SR. I know the promises we tell ourselves. Mine was never a whole day. I would start promising no drinking that day and by mid-afternoon it was a distant memory and I was calling my husband and asking him to pick up some wine on his way home.

I am glad you joined. You've already helped me by reminding me what an out of control life I was leading. That memory is not something I thought about in a long while.

Glad you joined and I look very forward to reading more of your story.

mmeat

Welcome to SR, Shifty....you're telling my story too.

NEOMARXIST

Hi Shifty, I can really relate to your story too. What you said about having to get more booze because you only bought 1 crate because in your sober mindset you thought that you would be OK. But then as soon as the booze is in your veins the madness sets in as the tunnel vision to just go on a booze run to get more sets in and you're torn between knowing that you swore to yourself that 1 crate would be fine but the thought of having to abruptly stop cannot be comprehended. I used to always end up buying a bottle of spirits or something when I was in the shop too so I would always end up with more booze by not buying enough in than if I just made sure I had enough of a stash to tide me over!! MAdnes!!!

Thanks for posting.

mmeat

...madness is right! You know whats funny...Whenever I'd run out of beer and think about getting more, I'd say to myself...."the cops are probably everywhere"....but I'd go anyway. More times than not, I'd have them behind me following me.

My heartrate would be through the roof until they turned away. Madness.

mirage

Welcome to SR, Shifty. Your post helped me today, too..thanks for that. Good luck to you...hope to hear more from you!

InsideOut

I could NEVER keep a stash as I always drank everything ASAP.....there is NEVER enough booze to satisfy me....ever!! Yes, that is my MADNESS!!!

Shifty

I hear what you're saying. I would drink everything in the house, even stuff I didn't really like the taste of like my wife's sickly sweet crap. If I passed out before it was all gone, it just saved some for the next day.