I've often wondered about the "odds of failure" with sobriety. I think alot of people look at those statistics and let it be an excuse for failure. I certainly don't want to come off all high and mighty here, because I failed time and time again. I think I often "let myself off" though, saying "it's just impossible, I can't do it." The truth was I didn't want to put the effort that was required in.

The nice thing about the odds of success with sobriety is that you have a good deal of control over them. It's not like Vegas where you have to either be very luck or skilled, or more typically a combination of both. You just have to want it more than anything else. I didn't want that for a long time. I actually told my wife (now ex) that I wanted to continue getting high more than I wanted to be with her. If there were one statement I've ever made in my life I could take back, that would be it. But the sad thing is, at that point it was true. And I got my wish. It's not my wish anymore.

I guess my point is much the same as others have mentioned, it's not just about wanting it, it's about taking the necessary to succeed with it. If that's not AA, that's cool, but you need to take action to achieve your goal. Be willing to stick with whatever you choose until it works.

Pretty much all methods of recovery are based around one concept, don't drink, no matter what. How you deal with the feelings and emotions that come from that simple concept are where the many recovery programs differ. AA feels it's a spiritual problem with a spiritual solution. SMART looks at it more medically based and tries to help combat urges with logic and reason. Theripists often use a mix of both or other methods. But at the end of the day it really that 2 step process. 1) Don't drink. 2) Repeat step one.

I hope you find what you are looking for here. It is a great place with many diverse ideas and opinions. Some folks can get a bet "zealous" with their advice at times, but they do mean well. For the most part, this is where I found my "recovery". It's an ongoing process, but at least I don't just feel like I'm uselessly spinning my wheels, stuck forever in the same place. Take care.

I was intrigued by Sugah's question ("What do you see yourself receiving from drinking?"), so I decided to post while (more) intoxicated. I'm drunk now. I'm not happy, I don't feel good. I'm bored and irritated, and I'm still very aware of how absolutely ruined my life is. I have no job, I have no driver's license, there are warrants for my arrest, I have alienated those I love, I'm in debt, my credit is ****, I'm unemployed and my job prospects are nil. The thing is, right now, none of that bothers me that much. **** it. THIS is why I drink. It lets me not care. Sobriety means caring about the state of my affairs, and I just can't deal with it.

Drinking lets me not care about the problems that drinking caused. If I stop, all this **** will overwhelm me. I don't even know where to begin to get out of it. I've been fired, my condo is being foreclosed on, I have no driver's license, I have warrants for my arrest, I owe a ton of money, I have no credit, I have no friends my family is disappointed. I don't even know where to begin. It's just easier to get drunk and not worry about it all. Have any of you been through this? Can my life be fixed, or is it hopeless?

LadySlur,

I believe your life can be changed for the better. It won't be easy but with the proper support you can dig yourself out. But, first things first. The drinking has to stop. It's holding you in an ugly place.

Read through the posts around here. They're full of miracles. I believe there's a miracle waiting for you. It may be AA, SMART, Rational Recovery or whatever but there is hope.

My very best positive thoughts for you.

Love,

Lenina

Hi Lady, You are definately welcome here. I found out that drinking truly was just a symptom of a more serious problem. But when drinking the possibility of healing or uncovering the causes were zero percent. It takes some time and a period of detox is required in addition to physically healing 12-24 months.

As far as literature I would suggest reading Living Sober. It is simple tricks how not to take that first drink.

Thanks for sharing you struggles.

I, as well as many others here, have been where you are now. I only want to point one thing out about your statement. Your problems were not caused by alcohol. They were caused by you, while drinking alcohol. Big difference. Many of us have been where you are, and it is overwhelming, but drinking makes it no less overwhelming, it just numbs you to the feeling, while continuing to let the problems pile up.

I was in many of the same situations you describe. I was convinced I just could not live without my drugs, they allowed me to "cope with the world" However, I found when I stopped the drugs, things really sucked, but once I made it through a few months, they started getting better. I started finding my way out of whay once seemed impossible situations. Some of this was, perhaps luck, but I also thing that drugs and alcohol cloud your mind and make you not see solutions that may be right in front of you. It's not easy, it doesn't happen overnight, but I think just about anyone on this site with more than 6 months of sobriety would agree with this statement. With all of the differing opinions on this site, that is a pretty broad statement, but I stand by it. You're not necessarily "cured" in that time, but you will see the progress you are not seeing now. Take care.

I can only agree with Tyler LadySlur...
Many of us drank to try and escape our problems - and big problem like yours.

Never worked - the problems are still there - we just sidestep the issue by drinking ourselves into unconsciousness.

The only way to deal with problems is to actually deal with them - and the only way to be capable of doing that is to stop drinking.

D

Where I live in Ventura County there is an Alcohol and Drug Program that has IOP and counseling free for those that qualify...meaning for those with out money to pay. Maybe they have that where you live.