Another Newbie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Louisville, Ky.
Posts: 58
Another Newbie
Hello to everyone. I'm 41 years old and have been a problem drinker for almost 24 years. I have had some periods of sobriety but just can not seem to get past 4 weeks without relapse. And usually my drinking just gets worse with each successive relapse. I had a serious bender on Sunday which stretched well into Monday so I'm starting the recovery process over again now - or I'm trying to at least. Thanks in advance for your support. Perhaps that will be the thing that keeps me on the right path this time.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
Welcome to SR Patman. A lot of us can relate to your story - I know I certainly can. It was frightening to me to see how I went from a functioning person who drank too much to a barely able to function alcoholic. It really does get worse the longer we drink. Do you have a plan in place to help you stay sober?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Louisville, Ky.
Posts: 58
Hello Tiger,
I guess I can't really say I have a great plan at this point. When you have incorporated alcohol into everything you do for nearly 24 years it's difficult to imagine going forever without it. I've gone to AA meetings in the past but I'm just not comfortable in that kind of setting. I definitely am searching for the techniques to avoid relapse.
I guess I can't really say I have a great plan at this point. When you have incorporated alcohol into everything you do for nearly 24 years it's difficult to imagine going forever without it. I've gone to AA meetings in the past but I'm just not comfortable in that kind of setting. I definitely am searching for the techniques to avoid relapse.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Morgan City, La.
Posts: 13
Story sounds earily close Patman,,,Im 44 , been drinking for 25 years but just recently in last 5 years really have gone crazy with it and I like oyu have let it consume my life, I too went on a binge this past Saturday and Sunday (something in the air??) and at 1105am Sunday morning I took what hopefully will be my last drink. Unbelievably after drinking close to a fifth of Crown a day for the past 6 months to a year, Im on day 3 and havent experienced any of the horror of withdrawals YET that Ive read on here, mostly just disturbed sleep and profuse sweating during the night, heres hoping yours is as smooth
I just found this site yesterday and the support here is amazing, and Im like you I really dont feel comfortable in the AA meetings, yet, in the small town that i live in.....But on here it seems we are all in the same boat,,,,
Good luck to ya and join the class of Dec 09 forum group
I just found this site yesterday and the support here is amazing, and Im like you I really dont feel comfortable in the AA meetings, yet, in the small town that i live in.....But on here it seems we are all in the same boat,,,,
Good luck to ya and join the class of Dec 09 forum group
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
hi Pat.. welcome to the family of SR .. I say family because we are like a family . were here for support and help to one another . Your gona like it here .. lots of wonderful people who know what its like and understand what your going thu ... ~ huggles Endzy~
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR patman, I understand the discomfort of going to AA meetings, when I got out of detox I was totally desperate to stay sober, I was absolutely willing to do what ever it took to stay sober.
In detox we went to an AA meeting every night and I really did not get a darn thing out of them except the majority of the people there were happy, joking and laughing, they had a twinkle in thier eyes and spring in their step.
Well in detox they told us to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and to get a sponsor. The reason behind the 90 in 90 they told us was because research has shown that it takes 90 days to break an old habit and 90 days to establish a new one.
When I got out of detox I was (Still am) more then willing to do what was suggested of me. I went to a meeting every day for weeks, I really got nothing out of them at first and did not like them really, but slowly the fog of 40 years of drinking began to lift and I started to make friends and also began to understand what these folks were talking about.
The toughest thing I ever did was asking a guy to be my sponsor at my very first meeting, but you see I was willing to do anything to stay sober. This man was awesome, we sat down that first night and we talked for a good half hour. He gave me his phone number and he told me to call him at least once a day and any time of the day or night to call him if I was considering haveing a drink.
He did tell me to not bother calling him if I was drinking, if I slipped to call him when I was sober.
You know I am being very wordy here, most people do not feel like they "fit in" in AA until they have been sober at least 3-4 weeks and they have been to quite a few meetings.
Getting comfortable in AA is like getting comfortable in a new job:
1. It takes time to figure out what is going on at a new job and in AA.
2. It takes time to make friends in a new job and AA.
3. It takes time to begin to feel comfortable in a new job and AA.
4. It takes time to feel like one fits in a new job and AA.
I am not saying AA is the only way, but if one is REALLY committed to stay sober and they find they keep relapseing then it sure can not hurt to give AA (or any other program) an honest effort.
In detox my advisor told me that if I REALLY wanted to recover from my alcoholism I needed to commit as much time to my recovery as I committed to drinking. Well I drank every day so I committed to my recovery every day.
Why not commit to AA or any other program for 90 days every day?
What do you have to lose?
What do you have to gain?
Imagine you wanted to learn about Engineering, you go to one or two classes, you do not feel comfortable so you quit going. Did you make an honest effort?
Recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction is not simply not taking drugs or drinking, recovery is learning a new way of living life with out drugs or alcohol even entering ones mind as a solution to anything.
Not drinking &/or not drugging is not recovery.
Recovery takes ACTION!!! Action to change ones thought process.
Recovery is doing the work needed to be able to live life on lifes terms without drugs or alcohol.
In detox we went to an AA meeting every night and I really did not get a darn thing out of them except the majority of the people there were happy, joking and laughing, they had a twinkle in thier eyes and spring in their step.
Well in detox they told us to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and to get a sponsor. The reason behind the 90 in 90 they told us was because research has shown that it takes 90 days to break an old habit and 90 days to establish a new one.
When I got out of detox I was (Still am) more then willing to do what was suggested of me. I went to a meeting every day for weeks, I really got nothing out of them at first and did not like them really, but slowly the fog of 40 years of drinking began to lift and I started to make friends and also began to understand what these folks were talking about.
The toughest thing I ever did was asking a guy to be my sponsor at my very first meeting, but you see I was willing to do anything to stay sober. This man was awesome, we sat down that first night and we talked for a good half hour. He gave me his phone number and he told me to call him at least once a day and any time of the day or night to call him if I was considering haveing a drink.
He did tell me to not bother calling him if I was drinking, if I slipped to call him when I was sober.
You know I am being very wordy here, most people do not feel like they "fit in" in AA until they have been sober at least 3-4 weeks and they have been to quite a few meetings.
Getting comfortable in AA is like getting comfortable in a new job:
1. It takes time to figure out what is going on at a new job and in AA.
2. It takes time to make friends in a new job and AA.
3. It takes time to begin to feel comfortable in a new job and AA.
4. It takes time to feel like one fits in a new job and AA.
I am not saying AA is the only way, but if one is REALLY committed to stay sober and they find they keep relapseing then it sure can not hurt to give AA (or any other program) an honest effort.
In detox my advisor told me that if I REALLY wanted to recover from my alcoholism I needed to commit as much time to my recovery as I committed to drinking. Well I drank every day so I committed to my recovery every day.
Why not commit to AA or any other program for 90 days every day?
What do you have to lose?
What do you have to gain?
Imagine you wanted to learn about Engineering, you go to one or two classes, you do not feel comfortable so you quit going. Did you make an honest effort?
Recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction is not simply not taking drugs or drinking, recovery is learning a new way of living life with out drugs or alcohol even entering ones mind as a solution to anything.
Not drinking &/or not drugging is not recovery.
Recovery takes ACTION!!! Action to change ones thought process.
Recovery is doing the work needed to be able to live life on lifes terms without drugs or alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Welcome to SR Pat!
When you say "...it's difficult to imagine going forever without it (alcohol)...." it might help to shift your thoughts about drinking to smaller fragments of time.
For me, sometimes those smaller fragments meant an hour or "I won't drink for the next half hour." This helped me very early on since the thought of "forever" was too self defeating and seemed unattainable. But, hey, I could do (in this case, NOT do) anything for a half hour if necessary!
Baby steps...and you're right about alcohol being incorporated into everything we do (did)...learning to "live" sober (and I mean a "contented" sober life, not just a life that is lived simply without alcohol) is freakin' fantastic!
There's lots of support available - continue reaching out and meeting people who've been where you're at and can guide you in this new way of life. Often in recovery, we meet someone (recommended that it be the same sex as you) who has that certain "something" - that peaceful look about them - their clear eyes and contened aura about them - that was the type of person I got to know. I wanted what she had and she was more than happy to guide me.
You'll learn alot and be in great company here at SR. Look forward to continuing to hear from you on your journey.
Happy New Year ~
Bee
When you say "...it's difficult to imagine going forever without it (alcohol)...." it might help to shift your thoughts about drinking to smaller fragments of time.
For me, sometimes those smaller fragments meant an hour or "I won't drink for the next half hour." This helped me very early on since the thought of "forever" was too self defeating and seemed unattainable. But, hey, I could do (in this case, NOT do) anything for a half hour if necessary!
Baby steps...and you're right about alcohol being incorporated into everything we do (did)...learning to "live" sober (and I mean a "contented" sober life, not just a life that is lived simply without alcohol) is freakin' fantastic!
There's lots of support available - continue reaching out and meeting people who've been where you're at and can guide you in this new way of life. Often in recovery, we meet someone (recommended that it be the same sex as you) who has that certain "something" - that peaceful look about them - their clear eyes and contened aura about them - that was the type of person I got to know. I wanted what she had and she was more than happy to guide me.
You'll learn alot and be in great company here at SR. Look forward to continuing to hear from you on your journey.
Happy New Year ~
Bee
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