sunshinebaby

We had beautiful rain today. I woke to the sound and stayed in bed, knowing that I didn't have to be anywhere today.

The thing I am going to miss, I think, about not drinking is that delicious buzz I get after a glass of wine.....the relaxing feeling I get. Can I have this feeling naturally, from being with my kids and husband, from doing the things I love. From getting totally organised again. From getting fit and healthy.

From that chocolate that I will have tonight, while watching Supernatural - instead of the alcohol I usually have?

You bet I can have it all!!! I have willpower!!!!

TigerLili

Congratulations on deciding not to drink! I haven't had a drink for 14 months. I think that the 'delicious buzz' after the first drink or two is an artificial feeling - it's not a real feeling/response. It's just the booze encouraging me to drink more. Being sober is great. It's a million times better than the buzz of the first drink or two because that first drink would always lead to too many, which led me to losing jobs, my home, my self-respect etc. I'm happy to forgo the a little buzz in favour of sobriety.

Personally, will power wasn't enough. I attribute my sobriety to AA, but I get that not everyone needs to go that route.

I love Supernatural but I haven't seen any of season 4 yet. Waiting on the dvd to come out so I can watch it in a marathon weekend.

yeahgr8

Im not thrilled about where they left season 5 but i guess it keeps me interested enough to wait for season 6! How cool is Dean!

Great that you are realising that you don't need alcohol to enjoy the things that normal people do with a cup of tea of a soda...i needed AA too, good luck with your new found sobriety:-)

Ainslie

Hey sunshinebaby,

The rain today was awesome hey! we're on flood warnings here now though :S

I really embraced food when I gave up drinking....especially chocolate. Id spend probably as much as I did on booze, on luxury foods.....why not?

Willpower has kept me sober for 14 months, but its a lonely road to travel alone. If I could turn back time, id have gone to an AA meeting in the first week.

I hope everything continues to go well for you

Dee74

I've said it before - it's not willpower that keeps me sober...I tried willpower for 20 years...I wore myself out fighting myself everytime and drank.

Nowadays I'm sober and I put that down to a fundamental acceptance of the fact I'm an alcoholic (or suffer alcohol problems or whatever you want call it).

I know I cannot control my alcohol intake, or my behaviour, when I drink. I do not believe that will ever change.

Thats not to say I've had an easy road for the last three years, but I've removed that element of inner turmoil, and that's true more and more as time goes by

Just my opinion
D

Lionne

I agree with TigerLili on the effect of the first few drinks: And I always proceeded to drink more, so what I got was anxiety, depression, shame and embarassment as an outcome of wanting to get this "feeling". I agree with those who said it wasn't as much a matter of willpower as a matter of accepting that this hasn't ever worked for me and won't ever work. There is just no point in missing the "buzz" for me, because in the end, there was never any positive outcome.

With time, you will find that there are so many things that can make you feel happy and relaxed. For me, regular exercise was crucial in early recovery and now I go the gym regularly, since I found out that I could cope better with stress and sleep better.

All the best and good luck on your journey

Horselover

Glad you are feeling so happy SB. Sobriety does rock!

I have to agree on one point with Dee about the willpower. Willpower frustrated the you know what out of me. I was all bound and determined in the morning not to drink that day, but come 4 pm there it was sitting in a glass in front of me.

As far as the buzz I have to say that was gone towards the end too. I spent many years trying to get that buzz from the first glass, but it didn't happen. Same with cigarettes, unfortunately. Gave them up after I found out I was carrying my son.

Willpower will take you just so far, but you will pick up other tools along the way and those tools will get you through. If willpower works for you then that is awesome.

Tazman53

As others have already said will power alone when it comes to alcoholism just did not cut it for me either.

I used my will power and perserverance to gain every single goal I ever set for myself in life for over 30 years....... except one, my alcoholism, I spent at least 5 years using nothing but my will power to stay stopped and some how I always wound up drinking again. It was an insane mental battle, me convincing myself that I am not an alcoholic, I have not had a single drink in (insert time of between 2 days and even a month) so I am not an alcoholic, I can contorl it this time.

After about 5 years of trying to quit using my will power I crossed an invisible line into both mental, spiritual & physical addicition to alcohol, I had to drink daily just to function, to feel normal. Most of those 5 years I drank when I did not want to drink.

As with the others, I had to accept that my will power alone when it comes to my alcoholism just was not able to cut the mustard.

I like millions of others went to AA, I became involved in the fellowship and worked the 12 steps of AA, This resulted in my obsession to drink being lifted and me becoming a better person who's solution to life was no longer alcohol.

AA is not the only way people have found freedom from thier alcoholism, but very few people are able to stay sober for long on sheer will power, most recover with the help of others, be it a long term recovery program or doing what is needed to be done for them to find a new way to live life without alcohol.

Getting help is for most alcoholics crucial, look at the number of folks posting here & reading here, they are seeking and getting the support and suggestions form others.

In AA we have a saying "I can not stay sober alone, but We can stay sober together."

Take advantage of the support and suggestions of others who have found a solution to thier drinking problems.

Do not get me wrong, no matter the path some one chooses to long term sobriety, it does take will power, it takes will power to accept the support and suggestions of others who know how to stay sober.

You/we are not alone, so why try to walk this path alone with just our own will power when you/we have the Experience, strength, & hope of so many others walking the same path?

lionheart

Hey Sunshine

Its so terrific to hear you so positive - well done!

While everyone has very valid points, today is today and if willpower gets you through, then so be it. I believe others wanted to point out their thoughts on it because they care but its interesting how concered they all got around one word - I absolutely understand why but its an "interesting" thing for me to read.

I congratulate you on the positive energy you seem to be sending yourself.

Staying in bed is great huh - I am lucky enough to be on holidays until 4th Jan so am doing it every day.

I sooo get the buzz you are talking about. I was just saying last night that its not just the physical enjoyment though, its about the first one "not touching the sides" and the the second one being fantastic but then not being able to stop after that because you are constantly chasing that fantastic feeling - to me now, today, its false hope, you dont get it, you destroy things.

I hope you find your way to go through this.

Take care
Fellow Aussie LH

sunshinebaby

Thank you, I appreciate all of your comments. I suppose for me, just starting out, my willpower is at its strongest. I wonder what would happen if I go through a stressful time, will my willpower not to drink subside??

I suppose time will tell, but another tool I am using is coming on here everyday to read your stories and comments. These are the things that I am working with now, and if the path works for me that is good.

Everyone is different, but I can appreciate comments from those of you who have succeeded and it has been months or years, you can show me how it worked for you and I can take advice. Many thanks again....and it's finally raining here!!!!!

Drk

Yeah, I used to drink to relax, and it wasn't until 4 months or so after I quit that I found out that alcohol increases anxiety.

It's weird, I'm now more relaxed than I've ever been.

Anna

Hi Sunshinebaby,

I'm glad you are feeling so positive and doing well! That's great!

I have to say that willpower didn't work for me either. I had to change myself from the inside out. The main thing I found is that drinking was the symptom. Drinking was masking the problems and I had to find a way to work on myself and my issues.

SR is a super place to come for inspiration and information, so I hope you keep reading and posting.

jaitch

I found willpower easy when I didnt want to drink, then when a craving came on willpower ......................

Zencat

With the use of an addiction treatment program I have empowered myself to make the necessary changes to live free from drugs/alcohol. Not exactly willpower but very liberating and personally satisfying. I do the deal, I get to heal.

Horselover

SB you sound just like me. I used SR daily when I started and guess what! Its still working for me. I also started reading a lot about spirituality and the power of our intentions. Its all good stuff. I have always said and will continue to say if this path fails then I will find something more, but for now its working.

basIam

Zen. . we are often in agreement.

Will power is definitely required to recover. Exerting will to take specific actions yields an incredible side effect - staying sober.

But exerting my will to stay sober always failed me. I had to take action that I sometimes could not connect with staying sober. That took will power.

Ainslie

Im not a doctor or an expert on "willpower" but I can tell you what ive been through, alone, on what I call "willpower" - my sheer desire to no matter what, resist alcohol. I believe my willpower has snowballed over time, as I see stressful situations through, I feel stronger. I honestly believe that no matter what hit me (and I have a crazy imagination) I would not pick up a drink. Even when I know I could get away with it without anyone knowing apart from myself - I wouldnt.

The idea that I have, which probably hinders my approach to any recovery program, is that maybe one day I will learn to drink responsibly again. Its not the light at the end of my tunnel, but among many things I hope to look forward to perhaps in 10, 20 years time. Not everything is black and white, like you said everyone is different. I have no doubt that I was alcohol dependent/alcoholic, I was drinking everyday my body would physically allow me to (usually 1/7 id be too anxious/depressed to get out of bed) - until I passed out. From about the age of 20-27, although it wasnt that bad until I was around 24, previous to that Id perhaps drink 3-4 nights a week combined with other drugs that wouldnt always permit "passing out".

Anyway I just wanted to clarify what willpower meant for me, and keep positive