Old 12-26-2009, 01:07 AM
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Location: Australia
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This may be a long post, I am writing it to myself but I would love you to read also...

My previous post stated that from Jan 1, I was stopping all alcohol. Well I am bringing that day forward to tommorrow. 27th Dec. My sons birthday. I've already had a glass of wine this afternoon, so todays out, but tommorrow it is!

I am so excited, I feel like I am going on a big trip, or doing something so wonderful and exciting that I am really looking forward to it.

Alcohol has been a part of my life since I was 16 and got drunk (on a thimble full) of green ginger wine at my formal. Then proceeded to kiss all the boys!

Ever since then I have always drank, but never as much as I have done in the last few years. I drink more nights than I used to.

I don't consider myself an alcoholic, I am a binge drinker. Is there a difference? I can happily go days without wanting to drink, like two weeks ago when I didn't drink for 7 days after a birthday party we went to.

I stopped drinking completely when trying to conceive our 3 kids, didn't drink when pregnant, or for the 14 months I breastfed each of them. See I CAN stop.

Why I think I have a problem is that when I drink I binge. I will have 4 or 5 drinks, consisting of a couple of wines then some mixer drinks. I only ever drink at home.

I want to stop for the following reasons:

- I worry what it is doing to my health - apart from feeling like crap, being tired, headachey, putting on weight etc I hate thinking about the things I can't see.

- I want to stop for my children, I don't want them seeing me drinking - although I don't get drunk in front of them...never. But they know I like my glass of wine.

- I want to save money

- I want to get fit again, two years ago when I went on a health kick, I felt fantastic, I felt empowered and because I wasn't drinking (much) I also looked after other things - what I ate, and my exercise.

- The last few months I just haven't cared, so I havent' exercised.

- I want to feel empowered, I hate that I have to think about this, that it doesn't come natural to me, that I need to be a part of this forum ( although I feel blessed that I am)

- I want to be in control of my life, and enjoy every little thing..

- I am an educated, intelligent woman who has travelled through America alone, and was a state champion ballroom and latin dancer, I have accomplished alot of things, so this will not get me...

- I am sick of hearing about and reading about my close friends weekend parties where they all drink...its a fact of life for them, their photos on facebook of them drinking....I don't want to be like that.

- I have so much to do, my guitar, my children, my family, my farm and our new house we are building...I can't remember the last time my husband and I sat and played a board game like we used to.

- I am just so sick of drinking. I want to be powerful, I want to say to someone "I don't drink" and feel like it is a normal thing to say.

The thing that relaxes me is on the weekends, I love watching movies and I always drink, the two go hand in hand. I am scared how I will relax without drinking.....

So there you have it, a bit more about me.....

Last edited by sunshinebaby; 12-26-2009 at 01:10 AM. Reason: more info
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Old 12-26-2009, 03:01 AM
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bumpety bump!!!!
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Old 12-26-2009, 03:05 AM
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Alcoholism is not defined by how much or how often we drink, but by our reaction to alcohol when we drink. If you accept that definition, do you still consider yourself not an alcoholic?

You have made a fine list of reasons to stop. Keep that list close to you. Good luck and keep posting.
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Old 12-26-2009, 06:55 AM
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Congratulations SB! I too gave up alcohol during conceiving and pregnancy, but there is not a glimmer of doubt in my mind that I cannot drink as a normal person. There are many alcoholics who have stayed sober for years and years, but if they were to take a drink then a binge or uncontrollable outcome would be their destiny. I think, for myself, my problem lies with that first drink because it rarely ended with just one and if it did I suffered with the struggle to keep it there.

I feel much freer not having that inner struggle in my life and my mind is freer to consider other thoughts in life too. Much better in my opinion.

As far as whether you are an alcoholic or not does not concern me. Labels do strange things to people and I would go with your list of reasons for now. Congratulations on making your first sober day your son's birthday. What a gift to his Mom and to him. Awesome! Hugs - Sarah
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Old 12-26-2009, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Horselover View Post
Congratulations on making your first sober day your son's birthday. What a gift to his Mom and to him. Awesome! Hugs - Sarah
Think I will cry happiness!!!
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Old 12-26-2009, 03:56 PM
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Good on you for bringing the day forward sunshinebaby

Labels don't really concern me either - to me, what we call ourselves is far less important than dealing successfully with our problems and building new lives

Have a great day with your son!
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Old 12-26-2009, 08:18 PM
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An excellent choice, Sunshine!
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Old 12-26-2009, 08:23 PM
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Dont worry about the difference between binge drinker and alcoholic, you have a desire to stop drinking thats what matters at the moment.
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Old 12-26-2009, 08:51 PM
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One of the most inspiring posts I have read in my short time here. Thanks for articulating some of the things I care about myself but haven't been able to properly state.
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Old 12-26-2009, 09:02 PM
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Seen this post and I was feeling really miserable, alone, scared, hopeless...

Mentally drained,

You made me feel better thanks for sharing your words.
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Old 12-27-2009, 02:59 AM
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Way to go Sunshinebaby - today is as good a day as any!

I actually had planned the exact same thing as you being the 1st Jan and also bought my date forward to 20th Dec - its not a bad thing - its a fantastic thing!

I can relate in sooo many ways to you, hang in there!

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Old 12-27-2009, 03:28 AM
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Good to hear Sunshine
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Old 12-27-2009, 05:03 AM
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I am overwhelmed by your kind words about my post. Thank you so much. I had an awesome day today with my kids and my sons birthday. Day 1 today. The kids swam in the pool and my eldest daughter said to me "arn't you getting your wine" to which I replied "no, I don't drink alcohol anymore".

Her question made me feel sick in the stomach.
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Old 12-27-2009, 07:07 AM
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You are not alone SB. When my, then 4 year old, was asked by his gramma what we need to get to throw a party he answered first and foremost "a box of wine." Ugh! That is not something a 4 year old should equate with a good time and believe it or not that was a major turning point for me. Someday I will tell him this. His life changed my life for the better in more ways then one. Quit smoking when I was pregnant for him. I would say I will live longer because of his influence. Children are wonderful motivators.
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