black out
 

christmas has come and gone i can only remember half of it
was sober for 2 weeks or so.
and opiat free for monthes and still am
but sober im not

my crazzy minde keeps teling me alcohole is ok on spechal
ocashions .
is it i dont no.dident hert eny one this time
i hope.
still in the same seet i was drinking in witch is a good thing for me
normaly id be out causing cayoss

i want to be free off all this but havent fond the aswer yet
dont have no regrets yet but the other half ant got up yet
to relay all my antics

i wish i new why i keep doing it

No one else can tell you if it's OK jazz.

For me blacking out wasn't ok - it always distressed me trying to work out what I did.

And swapping my drug of choice for some other drug always got me into trouble and eventually lead back to my usual drugs anyway.

I think we drink or drug ourselves into oblivion for a reason - for me I had a void inside me I tried to fill by getting drunk or high. Didn't really matter what I used - I was still trying to do the same thing - to get better, I had to work on that void.

D

i wish i new to dee
but im surching

jazz,

Well, you've come the right place to seek a solution. There's so much information and good support here. Stick around, get to know folks, see what solutions we've found and decide what sounds like it could work for you.

Above all, don't give up. Most of us had to keep trying before we got it right. For me, the hardest part was deciding I wanted to be sober. After that, it was finding a plan to get there!

Love,

Lenina

my problem is that when I drink alcohol, it blurs my other goals, and I end up doing things I wouldn't do sober, like starting up other bad habits I have quit. If it makes you feel bad and/or guilty instead of happy, its probably time to quit.