Dream2bClean

Hi All!

I am still here, still not in recovery but I have a new plan and PLEASE do not think (and being down this road before) I know that majority of you wort think that the support you all gave me the other day when I tried to quit and failed was a waste of your tikme. I am going to have another day 1 tomorrow (too loate today) but I am serious.

I got completely honest with my husband about the AMOUNT of alcohol and the needles again and he was furious about that. I wrote him a long letter last nate and he seems to be on board. I am going to miss Christmas with the family this year, today was at our house with our daughter, and later he will be leaving with my 3 year old to go to S.C. to my inlaws (who I adore) and I will get 2 days to kick and go to NA.

This has to be the way, I tried it my way again, this time and failed by 5 PM and 11 AM on the injections when I really did just come across a brand new rig when cleaning that morning and it was off to the races, I had the stuff to put in it so my mind went blank and I just did it.

I KNOW beyone a shadow of a doubt that I wont make it until next Christmas if I continue like this. I have been getting really sloppy with the needles when before I was the sterile queen, now I drop on eon e the bathroom floor and go about my business, b/c you know I cant aford the extra 2 seconds it takes to clean it and myself off. I CAN NOT jeopardize myself but even more my 3 year old and husband like this, they are not making these decisions, I am.

So I will be around a lot over those couple days b/c it will be every NA maybe even AA meeting I can find and then SR in between.

I know I can do it ot even more I REALLY HAVE TO!

Thank you all again for your suppot please know I wasnt playing games or gave it a half hearted attempt, I really think I gave it my best and if that was my best I need a lot more support and a plan and a program NOW.

THank you,
Dreams (Still)

CarolD

Sounds like you know action is the key ....keep trying
to find something that benefits your life.

Blessings to you and your family....

Dee74

Keep checking in Dreams

D

thirtybubba

Yeah, keep checking in.

And keep going to those NA meetings, and come here too...

And for your sake I hope tomorrow is a day 1...


Take care of yourself now,
TB

yeahgr8

Sounds like a plan, get to NA and AA and work the program...like your life depends on it, which 'coincidentally' it does! Good luck:-)

Sugah

So, have you cleaned out the house, dumped all the booze, flushed all the pills and destroyed all the syringes? That won't stop you if you really want to use, but it may slow you down enough to think for a second.

Good luck and God bless.

Peace & Love,
Sugah