Christmas Eve
 

Just started another pot of coffee and took the last batch of cookies out of the oven. And I'm just thinking of how grateful I am to be sober.

Newbies...after 30 years of daily drinking I have a year and a half of sobriety. Never thought I would want to go through a sober holiday...how does that even work!

There are many of us here that have accomplished this...and I have no doubt they are just as grateful as I am.

Today, I am most grateful for my sobriety. I have a good life...with all of it's ups and downs...but honestly it would be nothing without my sobriety.

Wishing everyone peace this holiday season. Take it a moment at a time. And, Breathe!

Great post, Coffeenut!

I am absolutely grateful too!

Enjoy your coffee and cookies!

Thc CN. Living up to your user ID...LOL

We made cookies yesterday with the kids and today we gave them presents from our house and they made home made pizza. Turned out pretty darn good for 4 wild and crazy kids making it.
This is actually the first holidays that I havent used during or after them. I usually screw up either on the day or somewhere in between. My last use was a week before Thanksgiving. And it def was my last.

Hope oyu have a wonderful holiday too. Enjoy your java and eat some cookies for me. :hug:

Amen coffeenut.. i don't have the same Dread of the Holidays anymore that i did for Many Years.. i Almost can say i Enjoy Christmas now..:Xmaselfd

I thought I was going to be okay through the holidays, but I'm having a panic attack today because it just occurred to me that I don't have any plans for this evening, Christmas Eve. I have plans tomorrow, but nothing tonight. This is day four for me and the other days weren't very bad at all. Mostly because it has just felt so good, to well...feel good.

But today I feel awful. I have that sick, heavy feeling in my heart that I am very alone and no one is thinking of me on Christmas Eve. I just talked with my ex boyfriend who I only broke up a month or so ago, and we're still very close and talk everyday, yet he didn't ask what I was doing, even though I'm pretty sure he told me didn't have any plans tonight. I have no idea what to do with myself. I feel very sad and alone. I also feel really ashamed and depressed because I feel like it's my fault that no one wants to spend time with me.

Not sure if you attend AA lagirl but there are many Alcathons in the rooms of AA over the next few days and again for New Years. An Alcathon is where you can go and just hang out with others and eat, talk sobriety and there is usually a meeting every hour. You can look it up online.

Thanks, I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself because I feel like I let this happen. I would rather not be with strangers tonight. I'm still trying to contact a few friends to see what's going on. But thank you so much for the suggestion.

What I would like to know is more how I'm supposed to handle it when I feel this way. Am I supposed to be okay being by myself, especially on a day like this?

Fantastic Coffeenut, I'm much the same , 19 months sober now for me, this will be only my 2nd sober Xmas in the last 20 odd years.

Its great, I was thinking today how I used to be Xmas eve, hiding vodka all over the place, in a panic in case I ran out and the shops aren't open.

I used to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, they've all gone now, now I don't have the worry of being caught out with my drinking I realise I don't have that much to worry about after all.

I know if your in the very early days of sobriety then it feels like forever, it did for me too, it really doesn't seem that long at all since last Xmas though, the last year has just flown by.

Using SR and staying sober really is possible folks, hope everyone has a great sober Christmas.

My 1st sober holiday in 30+ years. I am okay but worried about AW who is not in AA. She is walking around like a ticking time bomb. We have 20+ guests coming in an hour. Someone else is bringing booze I am not supplying it.

Thanks for the support. Luckily I dodged the bullet for now TWO friends asked me to join them. One of them, my best friend who is acting as my informal sponsor, suggested that most of the people I know probably assumed I had plans because I used to come off as this strong, fun party girl. Little did they know... I guess we all get to be good pretenders and good at hiding. I didn't even think of this as a possibility but once he said it immediately felt better.

But isn't that just the way? We're all own worst enemies and our own worst critics, my instant assumption of abandonment was all in my head. I've been living with two many years of negativity, and that's one of my goals throughout my recovery. Merry Christmas all! We'll see what tomorrow brings. :-)

Great Post, Coffeenut - happy holiday to ya!

I remember last year - I was so sick
with some ailment the docs couldn't figure out
and I really truly did not expect to
make it through the spring.

Tonight, on Montana NPR
there's going to be a reading
of Dickens' Christmas Carol ...

I'm SOOOooo looking forward to that.

I'm lighting candles,
making some popcorn ...
and gonna listen to the radio
like in the 'old days'.

Tomorrow, it's off to a friend's
for a Native Christmas Dinner ...
Probably buffalo something or other
(which, other than the 'exotic' aspect, I'm not too crazy about)
I'm making 'SouthWestern Cornbread'...
then over to the Boss lady's house
for a cup of tea and a movie.

Unlike many people,
I am perfectly comfortable
with my own company.
I feel for those who haven't reached
this place in their recovery yet-
but I hope when you read this,
you'll understand it's possible.

i've had some really BAD things happen
in this past two months...
and not once
did I see driking
as any kind of solution.

It can happen for all of us!

wtg (((CN)))

I've been feeling like the Grinch and Scrooge combined, not feeling the Christmas spirit at all this year. I expect things to be a certain way and when they aren't I get annoyed and frustrated, feel hurt and ganged up on. WELL...today I bent to the change instead of fighting it. And lo and behold as soon as I did that I felt SO MUCH better! I no longer felt frustrated, no longer felt rushed, no longer dreaded the Family time and began looking forward to the evening and tomorrow =)

Then I came here and saw this post and remembered once again that I need to stop and count the things I'm thankful for. My life isn't perfect and things don't always go as planned, I can't control others, but I deal with it sober and that feels good. I'm thankful for my Friends here at SR and I wanted to let you all know that~

Merry Christmas

Thank you coffeenut - I feel the same way. I once thought sober holidays would be such a bore. In the end, I was the bore - and there was no joy.

Mariposa, I had similar moments of anxiety & finally got over it & now feeling better too. Once I would've intensified my drinking to "drown" my annoyance. I'm so happy we aren't doing that tonight.

Happy Holidays Coffeenut!

Allways good to see you sharing with us
:hug:

If there was ever a day when I INSISTED on getting drunk, it was Christmas Eve. Especially right now- everything has closed in my small little town, it's quiet enough to hear a pin drop, & the wind is cold & howling. It's wonderful not to have the depression I was constantly suffering from, not realizing the booze just made everything that much worse. This was the time of year when I did my best to drink myself into oblivion every single day, promising to the lord & myself I would stop drinking come New Year's Day. Over & over & over & over & over.......................
I am SO grateful & glad to finally get off that sick, soul- destroying merry-go-round after SO many seemingly hopeless years. If I could make it through my first Christmas a year ago clean/sober, so can you! Never give up, never quit fighting..........:Xmasxstar

good for you coff,

a great message,

and the best gifts we can get,

and a hell of a lot better then Coal

Sobriety,

and the gift of Hope

Merry Christmas

I don't know what I'd do without SR. I'd like to think I could have kept it together...but I highly doubt it. The fellowship here is the best gift a person could recieve.

Glad things worked out for you lagirl :)
Hope things do the same for you TGFS...

Happy Holidays all :)
D

My evening was a complete success. I had a much better time than I would have if I had been drinking, I drove home safely and am looking forward to a good night's sleep and a really fun day tomorrow.

Since I have joined SR I have felt a peacefulness and strength that I haven't felt in a really long time (well, except for a few moments today LOL). But I do feel like something inside me has shifted and so far SR has been my main source of support. So it must be working. :-)

I would just like to say SR is HIGH on my gratitude list and I look forward to many more years recovering together. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ALL!