Dream2bClean

SR Friends,
I am planning or AM making tomorrow my day 1 of NO ALCOHOL. I have of substance problems that need to be addressed and I have started to wean off them.
Today I had about 1/4th of the amount of alcohol I drink (beer only) and I know I should speak w/ my Dr. before doing this but unfortunately having lost my job over 1 year ago I have no insurance (and no jobs in my industry offer insurance any longer anyway) except for the job I got last week that I am afraid I will now not get b.c of my drug test, I am prescribed all of my meds due to back surgery 1 year ago as well but they did not provide me the opportunity to list the meds nor have I hear from them yet when I was supposed to and the hiring manager always emailed me back within 5 min, of my previous emails) so I am afraid something is wrong.
Regardless back to day 1 no alcohol tomorrow I KNOW I will not be able to keep the job if I am given it (that is not my only reason for needing to quit but it is also a great motivation) I NEED recovery and I CNA NOT DRINK TOMORROW. (As soon as I typed that something in my head listed a time that said will not until _____ time) THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD AND I NEED HELP.
The first step for me is quitting tomorrow so I can save my health, family pride, and overall life and be the mother, daughter, sister and friend I used to be before all of this time where my drinking has become my career while trying to get back into my career.
So tomorrow WILL be day 1 for me please provide any motivation, recommendation, (not medical advice I know just support and anything that you can share to get me through my day 1.
I feel like I am begging here and being selfish so I am sorry for that but I know I am headed for death if I continue living this way and going in the direction my life is.
I just need the SR help I got years ago, that I did get here and way able to stay alcohol free (for only 30 days 4 times in 1 and 1.2 years of my adult life except for when I was preggo and had NOTHING for 8.5 months.
I know I am being repetitive for those who have (and thank you for that) been reading my posts over the last couple weeks after I made this decision but was still drinking heavily.
I am not up to a minimum of 15 (16 oz.) beers a day AT LEAST.
I know CT IS dangerous but so is the life I am leading for myself and especially my 3 year old daughter right now 
PLEASE HELP ME B/C I WANT A BEER NOW AND AM ALMOST CONSIDERING GOING TO THE STORE RIGHT NOW

What is wrong with me? You don’t have to answer that I am an alcoholic and Addict that’s why I am here and that is why tomorrow is day CT NO alcohol for me.
Sorry so long, but posting helps, so please forgive me.
PLEASE wish me luck; say a prayer and God please help me get through my day 1 that would be 12/23/09. Just for tomorrow for now. I just have to get through 1 day, why is the first day so hard? Again no need to answer I KNOW
So many thanks from the bottom of my heart to all of you SR strangers yet friends. With you and I will be going to AA or NA again very soon, hoping for right after Christmas.
Thank you,
Dreams

Dee74

You'll find a lot of support here Dream
Also check out this thread in the morning - theres a lot of good advice

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

take care,
D

Lenina

(((Dream))) You have my best positive thoughts. It's always best to check with a qualified medical doctor or nurse.

Here's are my recommendations for tomorrow. Drink as much water or gatorade as you can. If you can't keep it down, use ice chips. I hear Colas can help settle the tummy some and the sugar will help you feel a little better.

Just in case, have the phone number of the emergency room handy in case you need help. Also, the AA hot line can be a good place to get support if you need to talk personally to some one. It's staffed by a fellow alcoholic who knows and understands.

Try to eat soft foods, oatmeal worked for me.

Stay on SR as much as you can. Reading the posts of others has always helped me feel not alone and gives me hope.

I really wish you all the best. Recovery is a great thing and worth working towards.

Much love to you,

Lenina

Dee74

Leninas advice is spot on, Dream

D

mtnmagic

Dream - You have my support. I'm not going to say it will be easy. It will not. I'm on day four and still hurting pretty bad. I just know that drinking will take me back out there, beyond reason. I think for you it is the same.

So you can do this. Oh yes you can. Just take tomorrow as it comes and if it hurts too badly go to the ER. Get some professional help. I'll be here for you. Looking forward to my day 5 and your day one. It will get better. I know it will.

minute

Dream,
I will be praying for you. Write down the good advice the others gave yo so you have it close and can remember these things when the times get tough.
You CAN do this today. Just take it minute by minute.
Much love and suport,
Minute

rainbowfish

Many blessings and prayers to you Dream

lagirl310

Dream,

When I've had extreme nausia from being hungover, I've found that one Pepsid AC really does a much better and quicker job than Pepto or Tums. But make sure they are safe for you to take with your meds.

thirtybubba

Hi Dream.

You can do this... and SR can help.

I agree with Lenina. Also, I find simple salads to help in that "soft food" category... not really soft but somewhat easy on the stomach.

Drink lots and lots of water.

You can get through this...

Take care,
TB

Sikkisirus

Well you've already had great advice Dream so im just popping in to wish you strength and best wishes

dedubya

Hey Dream
My best wishes and hope for your calmness and peace through your first day 1. I went through rehab in May, drinking about what you referred to every day since I wasn't working, around 10-20 something a day starting in the morning and finishing when I passed out at night (that was the last month before I decided I was going to die if I didn't change). I was hurting my family also, and that hurt more than anything else.

One thing I did, and this isn't med advice, a very sweet nurse told me when I was in my peak of Wdrawal symptoms was that every minute of the pain I was going through was one more minute of my body adjusting to the change in my brain to sobriety, and I should look at it that way (primarily because its true). So know that the pain is the disease feeling the pain of you getting rid of it- if that helps. It did me, made me want to kick it in the ass and bring it on, I wasn't to be whipped and was going to win. THE PAIN GOT BETTER AFTER TWO DAYS FOR ME, so hang in there and know that the feelings you are having are that demon alcohol trying to suck you back in.

We are here for you, stay in touch. Also read the 'sticky' note on what to expect from withdrawals, that helped me to at least know what was possibly coming my way. Basically a week of pain (and years of not letting it get to you again because it will surely try), trading off for a sober and really beautiful new way to look at the world.

Peace and Calmness Prayers coming your way
Dub

c49

Vitamins! Every alcoholic is malnourished no matter how good our diet was while drinking. Your body is currently incapable of absorbing the nutrients it needs to operate efficiently.

Multivitamin, vitamin C and B12 works wonders. Take with food.

Deep breaths and pray on!

Gypsy Feet

why not try a meeting this morning?

gerryP

Wishing you all good things Dream.

Don't lose sight of the fact that you can stop. You CAN.....

I agree with everyone's good advice of eating well, but I recommend Ju Jubes in there (HAHHA) I ate so many that I can barely look at them now. Just something I was craving.

Lot's of rest and walks.

Dream2bClean

Thank you everyone I have offiicicaly made it 5 minutes!
Seriously, I am going to take this hour by hour today, I decided. I am going to just kick everything too. I am going to take the klonapin I take as prescribed that help with anxiety but thats it.
I should be somewhat clear headed by Christmas for my daughter.
All I have to do today is take my daughter to school. I usually really start craving at 11:30 thats an hour and a half from now, so I have to be careful at that time. I have to do some shopping, I mean just about all of my shopping today.
Ill try.
As I have shared I have been shooting up some pain meds and a little H on and off I guess for about a year now and everytime I blink I see a syringe floating by in my head. I guess those are cravings?
I am stronger than them, I am going to kick their butt.
Thank you all,
Dreams

Ananda

we really are all here with you (hug)

I gotta go do some errands today too (ugggg)

but keep checking in here...and chat can be helpful sometimes too....

just do what ever it takes hon

dedubya

Awesome!! Stay with it! Minute by minute- thats what I had to do also. If it gets rough distract yourself, go to a meeting, or do whatever you need to do to get your mind off it.
I am pulling for you!!!!
Dub

gerryP

Kick their butt~YES!!!

Everytime I turned around I saw an imaginary bottle Dream, or I would think, I'll have a drink. It was what I always saw, thought and did, so it makes perfect sense that it all pop into your mind, doesn't it.....?

I like the idea of taking everything hour by hour. What I still do after 4 years and not because I crave, but when I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by what I need to do, is think of each task as it's the only one and get that done. Then I go on to the next task, focus only on that until it's done...go on.

You sound like you have a good plan Dream. Just put one foot in front of the other, rest and eat and get outside for a little exercise and KNOW...that it won't always be like this.

Best to you.

Dream2bClean

12:00 PM and SR is going down, dont do this today website PLEASE!

I am good had to stop by the store and didny buy beer the clerck looked at me like arent you going to buy anyhting else. No I just saved 4.22 on the 2 tall cans of Miller Light I usually start my day with.

So far so good, I have a lot to do which is good.

I am sure the klonapin is helpin is helping, I know it will get harder and harder as the day goes by and especially into tonight but I haveto be alcohol free or I will lose the new job I got and after 1 year and 3 month of no work and depression that lead me into this hole.

My horoscope for today (from face book that is ALWAYS right non point it is scary is :

Today it would be very easy to go to extremes to achieve your ends, Cancer, but you should do your best to find the route that is a win-win situation for the majority. You have to figure out how not to force things, especially if money is involved. Also, consider that someone who likes to play intimidation and power games is waving big red flags, and could represent trouble in the future. Your ideals and long term goals are too important to be compromised, so you need to reconcile your differences with others.

Interesting, Ill check back later, so far just hungry growling stomach but NOT hungry, lots of craving for alcohol and needles, and visions of them dancing in my head it is crazy, but I am stronget than a few pictures in my head right?
I know they will go away in a couple days, i will be back to work by then and have distractions and not worry about showing up looking like crap which in my industry is a huge no no.

No smelling of alcohol from the night before, not making it at all, or having to go theough this while trying to learn a lot of new systems and software and meet a lot of new employees and clients that aere going to be looking at me straight in the eyes and sizing me up.

Especially the employees, especially that they are all woman and like to eat their managers alive with gossip but for some reason I love what I do, and I am not going to give them anyhting to gossip about like I have in the past!

I will jsut be a boring, married mpother of 1 and they can make up the rest but alcoholic wont be one of the things I give them to say or assume.

THank you all!
Dreaming

Lenina

Hang in there, Dream! Carol D has a really good idea. Time your cravings. Carol said her cravings passed in five to seven minutes! Brush your teeth, drink some cold water or come here and talk about it.

We're pulling for you!

Love,

Lenina