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Old 12-21-2009, 05:14 AM
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DubsDay3

Sometimes I feel selfish posting things about myself, but it helps so.......
Here I am- 5am on day 3, and still hanging. Last night my wife was drinking her normal 2 glasses of chardonnay right beside me (her brain isn't wired like me to say the least), and I didnt say anything but it set off a storm of neurotransmitters in my brain that told me I could have a glass and be ok- I Didnt!!!!! I watched 'It Might Get Loud' movie with Jimmy Page, Jack White, and The Edge- absolutely awesome!!!! Watched it with headphones on my computer and the craving went away- music has always done that for me....
I really am having an easier withdrawal this time, just irritable ( I usually am not- the Dude abides as you know), no appetite, not really depressed but not my normal outgoing personality, anxiety will come out of nowhere but I pick up my guitar or watch a funny movie or whatever the heck I can to distract myself. I believe today may be a very dangerous crossing point, that dangerous ledge where you sort of level off and either 1- run with the momentum and go to a meeting (or something similar), or 2- start thinking you have whipped this thing. I think I will go to my first meeting since July today at noon....will let you know how that goes. I know this is long....so I will catch you later.
Dub
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Old 12-21-2009, 05:25 AM
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Hi Dub. A meeting is a good idea for you. It isn't an easy thing getting sober when your wife or significant other drinks in front of you. I know many around here that have, but if that was my situation I would be heading to a meeting because I would need more then SR too. I got through the beginning through distraction also, but again, it was much easier for me because my husband doesn't drink at all any more and we don't keep it in the house.

I look forward to reading about your experience at the meeting.
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Old 12-21-2009, 05:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Horselover View Post
Hi Dub. A meeting is a good idea for you. It isn't an easy thing getting sober when your wife or significant other drinks in front of you. I know many around here that have, but if that was my situation I would be heading to a meeting because I would need more then SR too. I got through the beginning through distraction also, but again, it was much easier for me because my husband doesn't drink at all any more and we don't keep it in the house.

I look forward to reading about your experience at the meeting.
thanks Horselover-
I will update after the meeting...fortunately she only drinks at night and never gets drunk or goes over 2. Which in its own way is dangerous because I know I don't operate like that....but I have quit before while she does her thing and it didnt really bother me after the first few days. I started back because I thought I had finally gained control of this disease- which we know isn't possible. I don't plan on having that illusion again....
Catch you later-
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Old 12-21-2009, 06:05 AM
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My wife has her one or two white wine spritzers every night just before bed. I am immune to it now, but it was a journey in and of itself... A good, current first step is requisite. It seems you are getting there. But that was only part of the journey for me. I had a resentment over it for a while, eventually I was able to deal with that too.

I still don't sit right next to her though...

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Old 12-21-2009, 06:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Cubile75 View Post
My wife has her one or two white wine spritzers every night just before bed. I am immune to it now, but it was a journey in and of itself... A good, current first step is requisite. It seems you are getting there. But that was only part of the journey for me. I had a resentment over it for a while, eventually I was able to deal with that too.

I still don't sit right next to her though...

Mark
Hey Mark!
Been awhile! Good to hear from you. I think the not sitting beside it is a good idea...can't wait until I am in shape for some long road rides soon...I have been staying fit (exc the drinking relapse) and that is on my radar as one of the life changes coming up.
Take care
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Old 12-21-2009, 06:23 AM
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We got snow for real now... hard to ride on the ice... I'm setting up the trainer this week... And, gonna tune up the skis!

Mark
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Old 12-21-2009, 07:31 AM
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Originally Posted by dedubya View Post
Sometimes I feel selfish posting things about myself, but it helps so.......
Does it? Help, I mean. It might make you feel better, but does it really help you recover from alcoholism?

I just read through the now closed thread about telling the truth versus giving a message of hope. A lot of strong emotions there.

My experience is this: Before I got serious about no drinking, I tried all the moderation games of only so many per night, only start after a certain time, only on weekends, beer only, etc. We could increase the list ad infinitum. I always went back to right where I was.

Then I got real serious, or so I thought. I tried to stop drinking through willpower. On a handful of occasions spanning a few years, I lasted anywhere from a day to almost 2months without drinking. Then I was back to it even worse than before.

Then I got desperate. I went to my doctor and tried anti-depressants. My drinking got worse after a short time. I started counseling with a therapist (self-knowledge galore) and couldn't stay sober. I enrolled in IOP and relapsed after a month or so. I went to inpatient rehab.

There, and getting back to Dedubya's post, I was in many groups where I was well understood. I put forth my opinions and listened to theirs. I told of my experience. It felt really good. When I got out, I started going to AA. Again, there I told of my experience and my opinions and listened to others.

Slowly, over the next several months, I got sicker and sicker in my thoughts and feelings. I was surrounded by people who really understood the problem I had. I felt comfortable there.

But I was not surrounded by people who had experience with a solution. A bunch of gathered together all hanging on to stay sober and sharing our opinions did nothing to treat my alcoholism. But it felt sooo good. THere was sincere care and concern, and dare I say, love, in those rooms.

My experience is that I did not stay sober with that environment. When I found a sponsor who told me the truth, and got me into the BB as a solution, I saw that everything I was doing had already been tried by countless others. And I saw the actions required for me to recover like those people did.

When I took those actions, instead of sharing my ideas and opinions and experience with a bunch of like-minded folks, I recovered just like it's described. Taking those actions did not always feel good and was certainly not always comfortable. But I was living a hopeless and futile life, and I couldn't go on any longer.

My experience lines up almost perfectly with the Big Book. I'm a pretty, run of the mill, textbook alcoholic. And when I took the actions that other textbook alkies took to recover, I recovered. When I did what I thought I should do, or what felt good to me, I couldn't stay sober.

That's my experience. So when it comes down to telling the truth of that experience, versus patting someone on the butt and saying they're doing great, I choose the truth. I tell everyone I sponsor that same thing. There are going to be times when I need to tell you the truth, and I know you might not want to hear it. You might get resentful or angry with me. But I care about you enough to help you discover your own truth, so you might recover. I care about you more than I care about you liking me.

That's sort of how I approach SR as well.
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Old 12-21-2009, 02:03 PM
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Keith-
Thanks for your input, I really appreciate that. The answer is yes- it helps me immensely to talk to friends, come to SR, and go to AA meetings. What you didn't specify is how it helps, so it helps me to be around great people with great intentions. Hopefully I can help them also. I also just like most people in general so I like interaction.
Peace and Best Wishes to you.
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