New and just completing Day 14

Old 12-20-2009, 08:28 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
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New and just completing Day 14

Hi. I'm a mom of two younger kids. I started drinking to take the edge off the late afternoon stress; kids fighting, cooking dinner, messy house and all that. First, I did it only on bad days. Then, it turned into a daily thing and the number of drinks increased from 1 to 2 and sometimes 3. The last few weeks before I quit, I got very anxious when I couldn't have a drink when I wanted it. Then one evening, I was going out to dinner. I couldn't wait till dinner to drink so I had 2 in the afternoon thinking that I could still drive if I drank that early. I'm lucky that nothing happened. That was the first time I even came close to questioning whether I had a problem. But I still kept drinking. Then, I got sick. I couldn't drink. I decided that since I felt bad anyway, I might as well just see if I could quit. I also gave up caffeine too because the anxiety would send me over the edge. So here I am at Day 14.

Besides not wanting to get addicted, I have the other usual reasons for not drinking: I don't sleep well, my health is suffering, hormones are whacky, not to mention my ability to think clearly and remember things.

However, these things don't seem to matter at the end of the day when I just want to escape. I'm under the illusion that I'm in control and my mind blocks out all the negative consequences. Now, I'm just not willing to pay the price for that escape anymore. I want my health back. I want clarity again. I have a wonderful husband who is supportive and picks up the slack when I'm tired, stressed, burned out or whatever. I want to do my share again.

I came across this site when I was doing a search for how to stop drinking. Reading the threads has been extremely enlightening. I quit drinking 2 years ago. At that time, I wasn't drinking daily and didn't have as much as I have now. I just wanted to stop for health reasons. I hadn't touched a drink in over a year. One evening, a friend asked me if I wanted to split a beer. Because I didn't think I had a problem, I said "Sure.", feeling certain that I could jump right back on track. Although, I didn't have any more that night (too embarrassed to ask for another), that small amount began 2 years of steadily increased drinking.

I'm bummed out but not terribly depressed. I'm sleeping a little better. The anxiety seems to have lessened. I have good days and bad days. I have to learn to like myself like this or become a person that I like. The difference this time is that I know that I need time (more time than I thought) to heal and if I relapse, I'll interfere with the healing process. At some point, I need to deal with the issues that make me want to escape but for now, I'm just going to work on getting healthy again.

The stories and advice on this forum have helped me tremendously! Thank you!
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Old 12-21-2009, 01:25 PM
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Good on you for 14 days!

Welcome, glad you are here.
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Old 12-21-2009, 02:23 PM
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Hi healthyme

I think you're on the right track. For me, it was crucial to accept it would take time to heal, that the timetable was not up to me, and that every relapse interferes with that healing.

I also accepted I needed to work on myself and some deep seated problems, but just not drinking was enough for me for the early days LOL.

SR was vital in that process. The support here is amazing
Its good to have you aboard - welcome to SR!

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Old 12-21-2009, 03:34 PM
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Congrats to you on day 14. I can relate to you having 2 young kids and needing to escape. For me coming here and spilling my secrets and reading about others is helping me to stay away from what I need to. Im also pregnant with my 3rd so that is a big motivator for me. Consider yourself lucky nothing happened while driving and Im glad you realize it was a problem. There truely is a lot of support here.
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Old 12-21-2009, 03:52 PM
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Location: SF Bay area, CA
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Welcome to SR and congrats on two weeks sober! That's a great start to a better sober life. I'm glad your husband is supportive. THat helps a lot. Keep on doing what you're doing, a day at a time, and your life will improve in lots of ways.

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Old 12-21-2009, 07:29 PM
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Thank you all for the kind words! It's Day 15. My longest stretch of not drinking in the last 2 years. I credit that to this site and all of you!
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Old 12-22-2009, 06:42 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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Welcome Healthyme!! Congrats on 15 days! I can relate to a lot of your story. I have an 8 yr old and 4 yr old. Dinner time in my house was what I called the 'witching hour'. I was worn down, the kids were tired and hungry, and I still had 1 - 2 hours before my husband got home to relieve me. So, my wine was my escape and relief. You are doing a great thing by stopping the madness I'm on day 57 now and feel so much better. I'm more at peace, the little things don't bother me quite so much and physically I just feel better rested. The first 30 days were hard for me but now it's so much better. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments, especially with the holiday parties, holiday stress, etc. But those moments pass quickly. Keep coming back to SR. There's a lot of great support and encouragement here.
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Old 12-22-2009, 06:51 AM
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Congrats on your sober time! Keep it up, it just keeps getting better and better
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