!!ExNavyInHouston has a year clean and sober today
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
You guys are awesome. It took an email from a friend on here for me to realize this thread was running. Sorry, I had a busy weekend.
I'm headed out right now, but I'll come back later and talk a little bit about this past year.
Thanks again,
Charles
I'm headed out right now, but I'll come back later and talk a little bit about this past year.
Thanks again,
Charles
and
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
One Year Later ...
First of all, this is not my first year (ever) sober. Sad to say there have been a couple of times I am sure I got a year or close.
I started trying to get sober, right after starting to get drunk in 1978.
Mom dropped me off at the local small town hospital and made me go to an AA meeting there. It was her version of an "intervention."
I went to the one meeting, the promised her I would change my ways, and I promised myself I would do better in the future to not get caught.
That would lead to 30+ more years of drinking, blackouts, near-misses, and the disintegration of my self worth.
Along the way, I would make valiant attempts at sobriety, using AA & Palmer Drug Abuse Program (PDAP) in the 80s. I think I got close to a year and several "few" months back then.
In the 90s I was in the Navy (9 years) and had my share bad spells, and there were a couple of half-hearted attempts at sobering up.
The new century saw me go 6 straight years of heavy drinking until I became sick of myself and some time in 2006 I quit for a year. At the 13th month I said I was going to give it another try.
Then in 2007, I went 75 days.
Finally, December 20, 2008, I woke up hung over, disgusted, blacked-out memories of the night before and I just said today is the day.
From that moment 366 days ago. I have never craved alcohol, I haven't had any close calls, or any moments where I thought drinking would be worth returning back into my life.
I feel blessed for that very lucky mindset.
Along this past year, I didn't use AA, and I did use this website heavily in the beginning. But, what helped me the most in the beginning was at about the 3 month mark I started doing therapy. For 7 months I went to counseling.
Working with a professional really helped me understand the reasons why I was an alcoholic. But what it didn't help me with is learning how to live in the world and prosper emotionally without alcohol.
I struggle with isolation now, and the desire to just cocoon inside my home.
Two weeks ago I did go to an AA meeting. My thinking was sitting around with other drunks who are making their way in the world was bound to help me. If all of those people are finding a way to feel like they belong in society then maybe they can help me.
Sad to say, many people aren't making their way in the world. They are really just making their way from one AA Meeting to another. They are not blending in with many non-AA folks. I certainly understand this, I would be the same I bet. The main goal early on is "safe harbor" and doing whatever it takes to stay sober. Going to a million meetings is great for that.
So my words are not knocking meetings. I get their value and how they are a great tool for sobriety. What I'm saying is the reason I went there was not for the right specific reason.
I'm still debating continuing. I struggle with the higher power and God issues involved. And I hate faking or coming up with my own secret little coping mechanisms just to fit in. But I'll work all that out.
So, a year later, I am sober, healthier, in much better fitness, psychologically improved, and still very determined to make the most of my life.
There are so many way to get to one year. Some say one day at a time, some think hour to hour, and some put it down and think about it like when they quit cigarettes.
One thing for sure, moderation does NOT work for me, and thank goodness I am free of cravings and mental debates with myself over my decision. I am free of alcohol, but I am not free from myself.
So that journey continues.
First of all, this is not my first year (ever) sober. Sad to say there have been a couple of times I am sure I got a year or close.
I started trying to get sober, right after starting to get drunk in 1978.
Mom dropped me off at the local small town hospital and made me go to an AA meeting there. It was her version of an "intervention."
I went to the one meeting, the promised her I would change my ways, and I promised myself I would do better in the future to not get caught.
That would lead to 30+ more years of drinking, blackouts, near-misses, and the disintegration of my self worth.
Along the way, I would make valiant attempts at sobriety, using AA & Palmer Drug Abuse Program (PDAP) in the 80s. I think I got close to a year and several "few" months back then.
In the 90s I was in the Navy (9 years) and had my share bad spells, and there were a couple of half-hearted attempts at sobering up.
The new century saw me go 6 straight years of heavy drinking until I became sick of myself and some time in 2006 I quit for a year. At the 13th month I said I was going to give it another try.
Then in 2007, I went 75 days.
Finally, December 20, 2008, I woke up hung over, disgusted, blacked-out memories of the night before and I just said today is the day.
From that moment 366 days ago. I have never craved alcohol, I haven't had any close calls, or any moments where I thought drinking would be worth returning back into my life.
I feel blessed for that very lucky mindset.
Along this past year, I didn't use AA, and I did use this website heavily in the beginning. But, what helped me the most in the beginning was at about the 3 month mark I started doing therapy. For 7 months I went to counseling.
Working with a professional really helped me understand the reasons why I was an alcoholic. But what it didn't help me with is learning how to live in the world and prosper emotionally without alcohol.
I struggle with isolation now, and the desire to just cocoon inside my home.
Two weeks ago I did go to an AA meeting. My thinking was sitting around with other drunks who are making their way in the world was bound to help me. If all of those people are finding a way to feel like they belong in society then maybe they can help me.
Sad to say, many people aren't making their way in the world. They are really just making their way from one AA Meeting to another. They are not blending in with many non-AA folks. I certainly understand this, I would be the same I bet. The main goal early on is "safe harbor" and doing whatever it takes to stay sober. Going to a million meetings is great for that.
So my words are not knocking meetings. I get their value and how they are a great tool for sobriety. What I'm saying is the reason I went there was not for the right specific reason.
I'm still debating continuing. I struggle with the higher power and God issues involved. And I hate faking or coming up with my own secret little coping mechanisms just to fit in. But I'll work all that out.
So, a year later, I am sober, healthier, in much better fitness, psychologically improved, and still very determined to make the most of my life.
There are so many way to get to one year. Some say one day at a time, some think hour to hour, and some put it down and think about it like when they quit cigarettes.
One thing for sure, moderation does NOT work for me, and thank goodness I am free of cravings and mental debates with myself over my decision. I am free of alcohol, but I am not free from myself.
So that journey continues.
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