Blogs


Notices

Its been called to my attention. . .

Old 12-19-2009, 09:04 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: far left of center
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by mmeat View Post
Hey guys...it was my thread where the controversy started.
Hey meat. . its not all about you keep coming back and you will understand the humor in that comment

I had a feeling you would get where I was going with that thread, btw.

You know, you may want to contact WSO and see how they may be help you to get started in AA if you want to get started on this path:

A.A. World Services, Inc.,
P.O. Box 459,
New York, NY 10163
(212) 870-3400
basIam is offline  
Old 12-19-2009, 09:08 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Rob B's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
Blog Entries: 5
Real Hope

For me, real hope sprang from hopelessness. In order to get there I needed to learn the truth about my condition. WIth all due respect, I find it interesting how some of us determine what the newcomer must here (I am certainly guilty of this myself).

Being an AA guy,I focus on the hopelessness, just as BasIam mentioned. In my experience this is critical. However, this is just the path I walk, we all know SR offers many. It is my wish that all voices were allowed to speak.
Rob B is offline  
Old 12-19-2009, 09:14 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 58,228
And the Bottom Line in the Newcomers Forum is that we offer hope. It doesn't have to be lies or false reassurance, I have hope and I can share it with others, as it was shared with me.
Anna is offline  
Old 12-19-2009, 09:20 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Leap of Faith Survivor
 
grateful2b's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Originally Posted by Rob B View Post
For me, real hope sprang from hopelessness. In order to get there I needed to learn the truth about my condition. WIth all due respect, I find it interesting how some of us determine what the newcomer must here (I am certainly guilty of this myself).

Being an AA guy,I focus on the hopelessness, just as BasIam mentioned. In my experience this is critical. However, this is just the path I walk, we all know SR offers many. It is my wish that all voices were allowed to speak.

Thank you, Rob...well said...
Surrender.....the connection between hope and hopelessness.
grateful2b is offline  
Old 12-19-2009, 09:24 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 203,962
Blog Entries: 1
What Anna said goes double for me.

I can tell the plain unvarnished truth without grinding someone into the ground.

I was 3/4 dead when I got here - I'd drunk all day everyday for 5 years.

The fact I'm still here to share what I've learned from that experience is down to the support strength and hope I got in this forum as a newbie....

I got it from people of all walks, all recovery programmes, and all points on the recovery process.
That's what makes SR great for me....and it's what keeps it great

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 12:15 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
mergirl
 
Gypsy Feet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Blog Entries: 4
Experience, strength and hope.
what happened to us in the past, how we got through it and the hope and faith we now have for the future is how it was explained to me.

I recently took the plunge into AA, but when I read our AA forums here, they often leave me feeling bewildered, scared, and put off. My solution is to get my AA elsewhere and IF I have a burning question I need answered here on SR, I privately message some one I trust, because frankly I am afraid to pose the question here.
Gypsy Feet is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 01:09 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Blog Entries: 8
I said it didn't translate well on a forum but the message would be more than appropriate in the meetings i attend as posted by basIam. I needed to have it confirmed how dire the situation was and a solution presented with the emphasis that I had to do the work and the harder i worked the more i would receive out of the program. I did not need to hear that it would be ok. I remember in March i even left SR for a short while because of a post by an AA member here, honestly that really helped me and made me think a lot about the direction i was headed...i didn't like him very much at the time though hehe but it did help a lot!

I have learned in a short space of time that if i rattle on and on about working the steps to people who have been in the rooms for months to years and have not done them, just have stopped drinking without making any changes and live pretty miserable lives, then they move further away from me. If when we have coffees, and in meetings, share about my feelings and life now with them seeing how i was just 5 months ago and when they ask i say it is because of the steps i have worked and continue to work then a few have got sponsors (even asked me to sponsor, i refer them of course to my sponsor) and then i hear them sharing about starting a step 4, setting a date for step 5, how to make an amend to soandso etc...

I guess on SR i need to remember that people haven't walked into an AA meeting, they have come to a forum at varying stages of their alcoholism (i absolutely maintain that you would not be here unless you were an alcoholic at whatever stage, heavy drinkers don't come to a sober recovery forum...well not the dozens i have known anyway;-)) and accept that AA does not have the monopoly on getting sober, which is what my sponsor would say too, but still slip in little encouragements to get to a meeting and hopefully get as 'lucky' as i have:-)

One more thing, talking about a person that is not the poster that i know who may have similar issues and has found a solution from people i have met helps to take the spotlight off the poster, e.g. this sounds like soandso and this is what happened to them and this is how they are now:-)
yeahgr8 is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 01:19 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Owner of a strange glitch.
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
For what it's worth...

As a somewhat newcomer, I have to admit, I have always just plain old appreciated honesty in any post and especially in the replies I'm reading. If that honesty is not pleasant, well... neither are these dark nights that got me looking into recovery websites in the first place, right?

On the other hand, I gotta agree with the poster who mentioned that threats don't work. They truly don't--with me. I'm sure they might work on some.

'Everything will be alright' doesn't fly with me either--I'm nigh on thirty years old, and I've lived through too much to believe that either. My favorite posts are those of individuals who do their "100 days" or "1 year" type type posts, briefly explain where they were, and fully explain what they did and how it helped them to get where they are. This is what motivates and inspires me, personally. I realize I am not the only type of personality on this here board.

I believe, again, for what it's worth, that both messages need to be presented, side by side if you will--if only because there is no one kind of newcomer--and agree fully with MG... I happen to have stayed around, stubborn being that I am. I have noticed most people have not... sometimes all you get is one shot with a post-type forum. And there is always the lurkers...

But either way, all y'all with time and experience, I thank y'all for being here.

Take care,
TB
thirtybubba is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 01:22 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
 
laurie6781's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I believe that the 'dire consequences' of continuing to drink and use can be shared within a message of hope, simply by sharing what happened to me (I did die and was given a 2nd chance) what happened and what it is like today.

I have done that many times in not only this forum but other forums on this site for years now. No one has to take their affliction to the lengths I did and I continue to pray and hope that others will find recovery without having to go the MAX the way I did (I was so damn stubborn). I have received PMs thanking me for being honest.

I have made a conscious effort to 'tone down' what and how I say things on this and other sites versus how I speak face to face. I realize that there is no facial expression or body language that a person can see on line, and thus it is a whole new means of communicating that there is a life in Recovery a pretty darn good one, that a person can achieve recovery, etc

All I have is my own ES&H from my own recovery and watching the recovery of those I work with.

J M H O

Love and hugs,
laurie6781 is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 01:38 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,418
Blog Entries: 1
Originally Posted by Gypsy Feet View Post
I recently took the plunge into AA, but when I read our AA forums here, they often leave me feeling bewildered, scared, and put off. My solution is to get my AA elsewhere and IF I have a burning question I need answered here on SR, I privately message some one I trust, because frankly I am afraid to pose the question here.
Dito Dito Dito...For me the fear of concequences NEVER got me sober...I lived the 1st step long at hard ....before I got sober. What gives me sobriety is the 2nd step...coming to believe that sobriety was a possibility..not for you (I could believe that easily), but for me.

My personal belief is that the other 97% of alchoholics also have the hope of sobriety...that none of us need to suffer in this disease, and that SR is a place of hope for every alchohlic.
Ananda is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 03:39 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
ljw
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1
Seems questionable to me to pound a program into a newcomer, feeling vulnerable after relapse, by telling them that they are going to die. I've had family members die, so I know it can kill, but I have no intention of going the same way.

I probably could've been converted through this at my lowest point. I ended up not using AA and recovering anyway. Some 12 step principles, along with CBT, but not an AA member.
ljw is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 04:04 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 652
There is always hope..

'You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice'
penny74 is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 06:05 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Owner of a strange glitch.
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Basically, that's it. There is always hope, and oddly, I've found it to be equal to the un-hope, or whatever it's called. Which was kinda the point I couldn't fully make.

Oh, I don't know.

But I really like that little motto: "You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice." I've been that way since... um. Nice sig line.
thirtybubba is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 06:47 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
In my daily life I get the unfortunate opportunity of seeing people who truly are hopeless...modern medicine can no longer help them and their lives are going to come to an end. Alcoholism does not fit into this category unless one has compromised an organ to the extent that it is beyond repair. Up until this point of no return there is always hope since we have the power to stop drinking ourselves to death. The theory of hopelessness and powerlessness is an ideology that you do not have to adopt in order to recover. The grim reality of life is no one lives forever...the choice then becomes are you going to allow your addiction to take you out? Like Dee stated there are thousands of folks here that decided to change the course of their lives...that is the message of hope that needs to permeate.
bugsworth is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 06:55 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
Member
 
Horselover's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Blog Entries: 3
That's as close as I could get to a thank you and to clapping for this post Bugs. That is EXACTLY how I feel, but in no way could have worded it in such a way as you did. Thank you!!
Horselover is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 07:12 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
Resident
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
I agree with Horselover.
I have seen many people come here with hope that are now leading a better life because of their participation on this board and I am one of them.
My thanks also to Bugs for expressing my thoughts better than I could.
Keep the faith one and all and do not get discouraged.
Fubarcdn is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 07:43 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
Thanks to everyone! Love what you said bugs
mmeat is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 08:11 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
6/20/08
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Bugs said it perfectly.

When I came here, I had hope that I could be sober.

Had I have been told I was going to die unless I (fill in the blank with whatever suits you) I do believe I would have died.

I had to find my own way, not be hit over the head with someone elses way.
coffeenut is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 08:25 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Member
 
Bob23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 65
Carrying the Message of AA on the internet and on message boards presents challenges not found in face to face encounters. Balance is the key.
Bob23 is offline  
Old 12-20-2009, 02:01 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 203,962
Blog Entries: 1
I've removed several posts that were personal in nature, and inappropriate according to the rules and policies of SR.

There's been some good sharing here - let's continue in that good spirit

thanks
D
Dee74 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:51 AM.