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-   -   What Was Your Wake Up Moment? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/190577-what-your-wake-up-moment.html)

cavalierm 12-16-2009 08:30 PM

What Was Your Wake Up Moment?
 
I'm just wondering...what was it that made you realize you needed to stop drinking? I KNOW I need to stop, but I just can't seem to get there...

Aysha 12-16-2009 08:37 PM

I am not a drinker. I am an addict. I had so many things happen that should have scared me strait. But it didnt. I think for me it has been the disappointment in myself and the disappointment from my family, the thought of maybe losing them if I dont get it together is really what is motivating me now. Death wouldnt even get it through my head. But I am just at a point where I am just so flippin sick and tired of the BS cycle. I am exhausted. And I dont want to look back and regret all this valuable time I should be spending enjoing my family.

CAPTAINZING2000 12-16-2009 08:49 PM

the step program. I was one step ahead of the law getting into AA before it was suggested I had a problem with drinking

Cornbrosia 12-16-2009 09:41 PM

I got arrested for my second DUI and the second i got home from the police station I vowed to quit drinking. There were plenty of wake up calls before that. I just ignored them

tyler 12-16-2009 09:44 PM

I gotta echo what aysha said. There were plenty of what should have been "wake up" moments, my divorce, my bankruptcy, my suicide atempt, my stays in the mental ward, etc., but I still went right back at it. Like she said, for me, it was just reaching the point of realizing that I just couldn't keep doing this. I couldn't do it to my kid anymore, I couldn't do it to my parents anymore, I couldn't do it to my ex anymore, but most importantly, I couldn't do it to myself anymore. The last one was the hardest one because I really cared about the other people, but really didn't care about myself. Once I was able to care, even just a little bit, about myself, I was able to stop and stay stopped. So I guess maybe that was my breakthrough moment afterall. Hope you find what you are looking for here. Welcome and take care.

penny74 12-16-2009 11:00 PM

l think that comes when it has to come...

Boomslang 12-16-2009 11:02 PM

I never really had one big moment, more like the others have said, lots of little ones, but I never listened to the voice of reason telling me to stop. I think what happened was that I finally pushed myself to the point of having nothing left physically and emotionally and couldn't fight that voice anymore.

yeahgr8 12-16-2009 11:15 PM

going to AA and working the program was the solution for me...

i realized i should stop drinking in my early twenties, walked into AA at 38...no realization helped me in the slightest to stop drinking, nor any consequences...

of course your 'problem' is not going to want you to go to AA and there are hundreds of excuses not to go, good luck:-)

RocketsintheSky 12-16-2009 11:40 PM

I don't even know if I could necessarily say I have hit a "bottom" yet, but after so many terrifying close calls, I realized that I really don't want to have to hit my bottom to seek help, it might be too late by then. I have an addicted sibling way older then me, and I see how her addiction progressed and I see where I was/am and I know what is next, and I don't want it!

FBL 12-17-2009 03:15 AM

I can't count the number of times I've "quit drinking" over the past 30 years. It was only when I finally realized that the problem was ME, not the beer, that I began to experience true recovery.

NEOMARXIST 12-17-2009 03:38 AM

The absolute realisation that prison, mental institution or death were the only 3 options to me and my life if I continued drinking.

I just didn't want to be putting myself through all the mental pain anymore. The only thing that could possibly cure my pain/anguish was another drink. I knew where I was heading if I didn't totally quit.

I stay away from that first drink on a daily basis with the help of AA and SR. The alternative doesn't bare thinking about really. I don't ever want to go back there again.

Tazman53 12-17-2009 04:03 AM

Well I was at a point where there were days I could not get drunk no matter how much I drank followed by days where I would easily get drunk off of 7 or 8. I also drank every day, I did this for 5 years, many times I drank when I did not want to drink.

I had spent many years fighting it, trying to control it, and I came to the realization that I could not even stop for a day even, I surrendered to alcohol, I just made a decision that I was going to stop fighting and just drink... it was an actual relief to me to do this. In about a week things changed.

My wife came home from work and told me that her and the kids would be moving out at the end of the month because she was not going to allow the kids to watch me drink myself to death.

My initial reaction to this was "Cool, now I can drink in the house and no one will "B" at me. I went out to the garage and popped another top to celebrate my soon to be new found freedom!

Well some time out there in that garage I had a moment of clarity, my future life flashed before me. I knew I was losing my family, the next thing would be my job, then my house, then my truck. I found myself standing at the edge of a cliff, if I continued to drink I went over the cliff into a slow, lonely, painful death from my alcoholism.

This scared the crap out of me, I did not want to die. I finally saw that if I wanted to live I needed to get and stay sober no matter what!

Well I had surrendered, I was finally at the jumping off point, I was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober............ problem was I had no idea how to even begin. I called the alcohol & drug hotline on the back of my insurance card and it went like this:

Doctor-Detox-AA-Taking the steps of AA-LIFE Free of the bonds of my alcoholism and myself.

Gemmie 12-17-2009 06:16 AM

For me it was when I knew I wanted to die. I already knew I was killing myself, I had been in the hospital a few years earlier, and when asked how much I drank, which I of course lied, they still told me if I kept that up I would be dead by the time I was 40, I was 36 at the time. I didnt care, didnt slow me down at all. I was ok, 4 more years of drinking!! No problem. Then at 38 standing in my kitchen, drunk, I knew I wanted to die. My nephew committed suicide years ago and I know how horrible it can be for a family, and had always figured that was not an option for me, ever. But now it was and it scared me. I called someone that night that was a member of AA. I didnt stay sober right away, but now have 10 mths!!!!

keithj 12-17-2009 06:36 AM


Originally Posted by cavalierm (Post 2462110)
I'm just wondering...what was it that made you realize you needed to stop drinking?

I don't have a lot of faith in wake up calls convincing me to stop drinking. I say that based on my own experience with them. I'm a real deal alcoholic, like described in AA's Big Book, and I found that the wake up calls were never sufficient to keep me stopped. They sobered me up for a bit, but that mental obsession always won out.

I think now that I hung on to the delusion that a sufficiently bad event would be enough to make me wake up and get sober. The real wake up call was finally realizing that no wake up calls were coming. That's when I realized I was screwed.

So after the first DUI, I thought I would quit. I did not. After a few more I thought I would quit. I did not. After the first car crash I thought I would quit. I did not. After the next car crash I thought I would quit. I did not. After I received the divorce summons and couldn't go home, I thought I would quit. I did not. After I couldn't visit my son, I thought I'd quit. I did not. You get the idea.

I found the same answer, based on my own experience, that Bill Wilson did. Willpower, fear, and self-knowledge were not sufficient to keep me sober. I was one of those described on page 24 who could not recall with sufficient force the suffering and humiliation of even a week or month ago. I was without defense against the first drink.

And AA offerred me a simple program of action that would help me get the sufficient power in my life to conquer (yes, conquer) alcoholism.

mirage 12-17-2009 08:31 AM

I was just physically and mentally exhausted. This summer was spent drinking every night and never catching up on sleep. One night in October, I was drunk and sent an email to my best friend telling him I thought I had a drinking problem. There was no turning back. Immediately, he bombarded me with what I was to do first... going to a therapist, telling my husband, considering AA, etc. (He's a doctor, so he wasn't about to enable me.) He wasn't gonna let me get away with just admitting it and then going on like it never happened. Anyway...that was the moment that made me take some action. Putting it out there and admitting it to someone else.

cavalierm 12-17-2009 08:34 AM

Thank you to all!

scoob 12-17-2009 10:38 AM

When I drove after drinking with my kids.

When my husband threatened to remove me from the family for my kids safety, and I knew he was right.

Believe808 12-17-2009 12:57 PM

For me it was when I woke up in the hospital under suicide watch, being told my daughter had found me and realizing I almost did to my kids what my Mom had done to me 40 years before and succeeded in doing.

Gypsy Feet 12-17-2009 03:44 PM

waking up with a real bad hang over, remembering nothing about the night before, and having my daughter relate the horrors of the evening convinced me to never drink again, because if I do, I am the monster in the mirror


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