well, here I go....
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Tex what were you doing to not drink last night?
I can tell you for me as long as I was not willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober there was always an excuse to drink.
What ever you did last night I would suggest adding something to it. Including your wife in on it may work for you.
I would suggest to you to write down a list of everything every one that is staying sober for a length of time is doeiing to stay sober on here is doing that you are not doing right now to stay sober and keep that list with you.
Now the second the idea of a drink even becomes a slightly good idea, grab that list and pick something from it you are not doing to stay sober and start doing it.... if the idea of a drink is still seeming like a good idea grab the list again and pick the next thing you were unwilling to do and start doing it.
I can tell you that the last thing I ever wanted to do when I was NOT willing to do what ever it took to not drink was AA!!!
Why? Well to be honest I feel it was my alcoholism that kept me away from AA for fear that if I fully committed to it I may actually stay stopped.
Dealing with my alcoholism was the toughest thing I have ever done in my life!! Why? Well you see before I tried to stay stopped drinking every single thing in my life that I decided I was going to do I accomplished through my own intellect, will power, & perserverance!!
With my alcoholism none of those things worked!!!! The harder I tried to beat it alone, the worse it kicked my butt and the stronger my alcoholism became!
For the first time in my life I had met a POWER greater then me.......... ALCOHOL!!!!!!
Once I gave up on trying to quit on my own, I became willing to do what millions of other hopeless alcoholics like myself had done to stay sober........ I started going to AA meetings, I got a sponsor, I took and applied the steps to all areas of my life on a daily basis and helping other alcoholics get and stay sober as they helped me to stay sober.
Basically it was no longer "I" against my alcoholism, it was "WE" against my alcoholism.
I can tell you for me as long as I was not willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober there was always an excuse to drink.
What ever you did last night I would suggest adding something to it. Including your wife in on it may work for you.
I would suggest to you to write down a list of everything every one that is staying sober for a length of time is doeiing to stay sober on here is doing that you are not doing right now to stay sober and keep that list with you.
Now the second the idea of a drink even becomes a slightly good idea, grab that list and pick something from it you are not doing to stay sober and start doing it.... if the idea of a drink is still seeming like a good idea grab the list again and pick the next thing you were unwilling to do and start doing it.
I can tell you that the last thing I ever wanted to do when I was NOT willing to do what ever it took to not drink was AA!!!
Why? Well to be honest I feel it was my alcoholism that kept me away from AA for fear that if I fully committed to it I may actually stay stopped.
Dealing with my alcoholism was the toughest thing I have ever done in my life!! Why? Well you see before I tried to stay stopped drinking every single thing in my life that I decided I was going to do I accomplished through my own intellect, will power, & perserverance!!
With my alcoholism none of those things worked!!!! The harder I tried to beat it alone, the worse it kicked my butt and the stronger my alcoholism became!
For the first time in my life I had met a POWER greater then me.......... ALCOHOL!!!!!!
Once I gave up on trying to quit on my own, I became willing to do what millions of other hopeless alcoholics like myself had done to stay sober........ I started going to AA meetings, I got a sponsor, I took and applied the steps to all areas of my life on a daily basis and helping other alcoholics get and stay sober as they helped me to stay sober.
Basically it was no longer "I" against my alcoholism, it was "WE" against my alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dayton, OH.
Posts: 879
Originally Posted by BigTex2 
So TODAY is my day, and hopefully I can lean on you guys for support.
I've tried this 100 times, and always fail after a few days because I feel great and find an excuse.
One thing I'll ask for immediately is some suggestions. Here's my routine, and i'm having a hard time figuring out a way to break the cycle: I leave work around 4, pick up my 3 y old, stop by gas station for beer, and go home. It's part of our trip. There are no alternate routes to my house, but I'm trying to think of a way to make up another destination that will distract us for a little bit and get me past that hurdle. From there, it's the 5-7pm area that is hardest for me. Home from work, kids playing, prime time for a beer. If I can get past this time, normally I'm ok.
anyway, this is a great site, and with prayer and support hopefully I can begin making some changes.
You say you need support and someone to lean on. We're here for you, but unfortunately, we're also only virtual. Have you tried AA or NA meetings? A therapist? A doctor? I highly recommend talking with your family physician, for detox and guidance. Speaking of family, have a sit down with the wife, for sure. The kids may be too young to understand what Daddy is going through right now, but having your wife for support will make a difference.
Anyway, something ELSE to do when you get your son is to take him to ice cream. Even if you pass that same gas station, keep your eyes on the road (where they belong anyway) and head for ice cream. Or the dollar store. Dollar store toys are cheaper, than regular store toys, AND they have no calories (but I don't recommend eating them!). And a new, little thing, to play with will make your son smile and teach him the value of appreciating the little things. Plus you still get time together.
Stop letting your brain give you excuses. When I first started trying to get off of crack, I'd use anything as an excuse. I told my ex's parents what we did with their money and business (stole money to get crack), I need to smoke dope to cope. My mom went into the hospital for knee surgery. Time to smoke crack. Mom wasn't coming home for two months, a quiet house to my self! Alright, time to smoke crack. Made an extra 200 bucks. Let's blow it on some blow! Alright! Having a great Christmas, let's top off the great day with some crack! Just crap like that. Anything from the down times to the good times, I found an excuse to use.
But it all ended on February 2nd, 2009. I finally came to my senses and I don't plan on turning back!
I hope SR, your family, and anything/anyone/anyplace else you try helps you, but remember, YOU have to WANT TO STAY CLEAN AND SOBER FOR YOURSELF, above all else. Above the family. Above the job. You've got to want it, no matter what. :ghug3
WELCOME!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi BigTex3
Many of us had a few set backs in trying to live alcohol free. It's just a sign you need to do more work, thats all.
When we get bad news or we have a bad day, that is EXACTLY the day to start, because pouring alcohol on all that is like gasoline on an open fire - we can never be sure where it's going to end.
I don't know what you're doing besides simply not drinking, but theres a lot of real world support available if you need it - a whole range of recovery groups, counselling, outpatient rehabs.
Don't beat yourself up - just use this as a reminder that this recovery stuff is *hard*.
Use everything you can find to stay focused.
I haven't been here for a day or two. Let me or Anna know if you're still having those name/log on issues
D
Many of us had a few set backs in trying to live alcohol free. It's just a sign you need to do more work, thats all.
When we get bad news or we have a bad day, that is EXACTLY the day to start, because pouring alcohol on all that is like gasoline on an open fire - we can never be sure where it's going to end.
I don't know what you're doing besides simply not drinking, but theres a lot of real world support available if you need it - a whole range of recovery groups, counselling, outpatient rehabs.
Don't beat yourself up - just use this as a reminder that this recovery stuff is *hard*.
Use everything you can find to stay focused.
I haven't been here for a day or two. Let me or Anna know if you're still having those name/log on issues
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 44
whew. made it. ONE WHOLE DAY.
and now I feel tremendous, and my head doesn't hurt, and it's Friday.
so guess what?
Wow, a beer sure does sound good tonight. My brother is in town for a visit and hanging out around the firepit having a beer sounds sublime.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and now I feel tremendous, and my head doesn't hurt, and it's Friday.
so guess what?
Wow, a beer sure does sound good tonight. My brother is in town for a visit and hanging out around the firepit having a beer sounds sublime.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dayton, OH.
Posts: 879
DO NOT DO IT! If you're thinking like that, change it! Even if you don't intend to start going, LOOK UP NA AND AA online! And just read their websites. Hell, go to peopleofwalmart.com and imagine the reason those idiots look like that is because they are drunk and imagine you'll get your picture taken too, if you go out, drink, and dress like that. That site is full of people dressed absolutely horribly. Cars decorated worse than redneck style, and even a couple of photos of people going to the restroom outside the walmart. Entertaining, yet VERY sobering.
Go to Best of Craigslist. Read the posts. I find a lot of humor there. Something that passes the time.
At the very least, go get some A&W ROOT beer, vanilla ice cream, and makes some floats for you or you and your kid(s).
But try to stay online and google anything and everything that comes to mind. Keep that brain of yours busy.
If you have to, do some research on what alcohol does to your brain. I did a research on crack (my DOC) and boy was it just awful what I've done to myself and what could happen if I go out and smoke crack again! YUCKY!
As Windy puts it.... It's gross and icky!
Whatever you do, DO NOT USE! Just for today. Just for this minute. Tell yourself you can drink tomorrow, right before you go to bed tonight. The best part about that is TOMORROW NEVER COMES! It's ALWAYS TODAY!
Do whatever you need to trick your brain right back like it's trying to trick you!
Got a truck? Go mudding. Who cares if it's illegal. At least you're not drinking.
Got snow? Go make snow angels!
Got warm weather? Go swimming.
PRAY PRAY PRAY! Even if you do not believe in God, pray like you do.
Start a journal and write it down! Write every thought down. Trust me, in 10 months, you'll look back and LAUGH at your former thinking pattern. When I started my journal, I'd brag about how fun it was to try heroin (even though it made me SICK!). I'd write about how I was going to go score some more crack even though I knew I shouldn't be and I was in NA. I wrote some much junk, and when I go back and look at it now, it just makes me laugh at how silly I was then! And I write about how much better off I am now. My Mom is proud of me. My boyfriend and my best friends are proud of me. I've held a piddly, but steady, job now for 9 months! NINE WHOLE MONTHS! I'd not even make it two or three weeks when I was smoking crack! HOLY COW!
In early recovery, you've got to work harder than you've ever done before..Keep at it. Stay on SR and chat in the chat room or start your journal online in your blog section.
FOCUS ON NOT USING! Minute by minute if you have to!
I am praying for you! :ghug3
Go to Best of Craigslist. Read the posts. I find a lot of humor there. Something that passes the time.
At the very least, go get some A&W ROOT beer, vanilla ice cream, and makes some floats for you or you and your kid(s).
But try to stay online and google anything and everything that comes to mind. Keep that brain of yours busy.
If you have to, do some research on what alcohol does to your brain. I did a research on crack (my DOC) and boy was it just awful what I've done to myself and what could happen if I go out and smoke crack again! YUCKY!
As Windy puts it.... It's gross and icky!
Whatever you do, DO NOT USE! Just for today. Just for this minute. Tell yourself you can drink tomorrow, right before you go to bed tonight. The best part about that is TOMORROW NEVER COMES! It's ALWAYS TODAY!
Do whatever you need to trick your brain right back like it's trying to trick you!
Got a truck? Go mudding. Who cares if it's illegal. At least you're not drinking.
Got snow? Go make snow angels!
Got warm weather? Go swimming.
PRAY PRAY PRAY! Even if you do not believe in God, pray like you do.
Start a journal and write it down! Write every thought down. Trust me, in 10 months, you'll look back and LAUGH at your former thinking pattern. When I started my journal, I'd brag about how fun it was to try heroin (even though it made me SICK!). I'd write about how I was going to go score some more crack even though I knew I shouldn't be and I was in NA. I wrote some much junk, and when I go back and look at it now, it just makes me laugh at how silly I was then! And I write about how much better off I am now. My Mom is proud of me. My boyfriend and my best friends are proud of me. I've held a piddly, but steady, job now for 9 months! NINE WHOLE MONTHS! I'd not even make it two or three weeks when I was smoking crack! HOLY COW!
In early recovery, you've got to work harder than you've ever done before..Keep at it. Stay on SR and chat in the chat room or start your journal online in your blog section.
FOCUS ON NOT USING! Minute by minute if you have to!
I am praying for you! :ghug3
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