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Old 12-14-2009, 01:04 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
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Dream2bClean's Avatar
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325

Hello all,

This is my I dont know how mant # times being back at SR! I was just doing what I normally do when I return and that is read all of my previous posts EVERY ONE, and all of my PM's to and from other members and OH MY GOODNESS, I have come a long way, no smiles yet dear sober members, my disease and addiction to drugs and alcohol coup[led with a back surgery, and tripled with having a baby and , quadrupled by my husbands continued using, and whatedver comes aftger that, sexrupled(?) thanks octomomo.... by the fact that what I was doing as far as drugs and alcohol combined was bad enough before to land me here at SR as well as one time when I check myself into rehab, which turned out becasue of my good insurance and it being 3 AM when I tried to check in it was so late and I didnt know how much scripty meds and alcohol I had drank they told me to "go around the hosp, for a quick drug test so they could tell them what I had taken" I was so messed up at tthe time i said great...had my husbamnd take me around the corner to the hops said I was send over by ________ psych. Hosp In atlanta and needd a drug test so i could check in. I was soon strapped to the bed and put on a 51-50 hold anfd left cryting andd screraming as the professional woman I was at the time that I just neeed a drug test. i now see the hosp could not "check me in just due to my request and have me OD on their watch. I knew what was going on kept crying my yes out and sent my husband home told him I would call him as soon as the hosp to pick me up as it was all a misunderstanding (I was sobering up now obviously) after crying and scrfeaming in the ER with tupes and IVs coming out of everywhere and I am sure driving the nurses crazy 9one even told me I was and to SHUT UP (but I deserved it) saying things like "sont the know how much money I makle" "dont they know who I am" YES they knew exactly who I as a drug addict that was trying to confidientially check herself into a drug rehab at 3 am but I am not a movie star so i just cant do that. I was just told that there were no "ambulkances" available to drive me back around the corner to the hospital so I could check myself in...by day time I was picked up by a very nice police officer who I thought was going to let me call my husband to come pick me up, take me home, and let me get to work by that afternoon n/cc I had a lot of catching up to do.
The cop told me that was not the case I was being help on a temp pshyc hold and despite the fact that it smelled as if he (the cop) had been farting it up all night in his cruiser the entire time in the parking lot of the hospital the night before making sure I wouldnt attent to rip out the IV's (again) and run. He then very nicely asked me if I beleived in god?
This will have to be part 1 of 2 the neighbor just came over and asked me if I could watch her son as an emergency so of curse i will but I need to fill you alkl in I cant wait to see if anyone at SR remembers me but I also am embarassed and ashamed to tell you all what road I have gone down now and the destruction I have done to my life....its not good....but I am back...pla to do my best...I WANT MY LIFE BACK... and I hope to be here to give and get all the support in the world possible as I have been down this road before but this HAS TO BE THE LAST TINE...with the line I crosse dand what I an doind i am jeopardizing my lie and the life of my 3 year old as well....I will be stryong and I hope I am welcomed back with open arms but knowing SR I will be and Lord knows I need you guys.
PLEASE PLEASE support me and I will for you as well as that is what I thrive upon in life in general.
Sorry watch this boy, I am used to mellow girls, wirll wirte part 2 later. <3 want
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Old 12-14-2009, 01:32 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Glad you posted wanna...This is a step in the right direction

Hope you do what you need to do to stay sober and keep posting and reading

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Old 12-14-2009, 01:45 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325

Ananada! I wish I wouldnt have gotten off on my tangent there...I prefer to be called detail oriented but I do know I am quite long winded and like to cover all my bases and tell a story but I could have gotten out my whole point there which is what I cant od now b/c I now have a neighbor visiting until his mom can get off work to pick him up (at least people still trust me with their kids...they must be desperate, j/k) but I will fast forward past the whole rehab things and say right after getting released and learning a lot about AA and NA meetings there and continuing to go to them for a couple year and only getting 30 days sober 4 times and then celebrating or thinking I could control everytime but that obviously was not the case or I wouldnt have landed where I am today which is.
I had a wonderful babay girl was sober 110% for 8.5 months (as soon as I found out) felt great NEVER thought I would go back to drinking and drugging again but my husband still did so things would still be in the house and the fact they sent me home with a script for 60 percosets (until that point I always HATED opiates and thought I was allergic to them) and was just an alhohol and benzo person. With the perc script they sent me home from the hosp with (I had no pai at all and did not need it btw) made me super mom I didnt care if I slept or stayed awake with my new babay b.c I was so high and had so much energy (I didnt know thats what it was at the time I just thought I was elated at the time. This is also the time i started to find out that my husband had a severe addiction (which is nothing compared to hwat we have gotten ourselves into today) and he was taking 20-30 hydrocodones a day. I was so excited about my first babay who was with this wonderful man I had been with for over 10 years already I didnt notice I only noticed that we didnt nearly have as much extra money as we used to. So I took the 60 percs and then got a few more refills for the pain from labor or in my back (they thought due to the epi. and since doc was a family friend he was like whatever with the scripts) when those ran out I let my husband do exactly what he had been and that was order off the internet to
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:00 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 210,605
Welcome back to SR want2

If you still want to change your user name let me or Anna know by PM what you'd like to change it to

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