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Share stories of common pitfalls with me!

Old 12-13-2009, 07:10 PM
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Share stories of common pitfalls with me!

Hello, I've tried with varying success in the past to stop drinking, but get stopped up along the way. I've found some common pitfall areas when I try to quit. I thought typing them would help to be prepared for them when they happen.

Also, I was hoping people could add their own, or comment on how they've dealt with ones of mine.

So here are some that I experience every time:

Day 2-3: Panicky feeling that I'll never be able to drink again. I have thoughts of how good tasting and good looking it is, and of some of the fun times I've had. This can often lead to bargaining in a way that I let myself drink a little bit, which normally turns back into the binge drinking.

Day 5-7: If I go this far, I'll start to forget my reasoning for wanting to quit. My friends are going out, and it isn't even a struggle in my mind. I say to myself, "I'm going to miss out on a good time, and I don't feel at all out of control". I'll go and drink, and have a good time then wake up feeling like crud.

30 days +: If I make it past the first week, I normally make it to a month. Got up to 3 months once. It's at this point where I'm convinced I've beaten it. I'll think occasionally that I want to have a beer with a friend, and I'll be confident because I have no compulsion whatsoever to drink; it just sounds like a nice idea. And that's where I lose it again, going back to frequent binge drinking.

Sorry for the long post but I'd love to hear some more pitfalls people have and how they've coped. Of I'd like to hear if anyone has dealt with the same ones I have. Has anyone here started up again and learned to be more responsible?

Thanks for your time!
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:19 PM
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Tomorrow is day 30 for me in AA. First time I quit with support and it really helps. I too quit for 3 months, 5 months etc. This is the 1st time with support and it makes a big difference.

Good Luck!
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by TGFS View Post
Tomorrow is day 30 for me in AA. First time I quit with support and it really helps. I too quit for 3 months, 5 months etc. This is the 1st time with support and it makes a big difference.

Good Luck!
Thanks for this. I've been wrestling with the idea of AA, but I'm just not convinced yet that it's the right fit for me. Maybe it's time to just suck it up and be practical about getting all the help I can.
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:34 PM
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I came to the realization that I would never be clever enough or have enough willpower to stop drinking without outside help, so thankfully I joined AA - and I now feel like I have an army of support and tools to help me stay sober. AA teaches that alcoholism is a powerful disease of the mind and body that most people who have it can't conquer on their own, and they have a program that really works for anyone who wants to recover from alcoholism. I've met lots of great people in AA, and I know I can call any of them for support when things get stressful for me. Not everyone goes the AA route, but I encourage you to check them out.
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:54 PM
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thanks stephen that's close to what I was going to post!

the only pitfall I had was thinking I could outsmart alcoholism.
and trying to do it alone.

my first year of recovery,
i was so grateful to be surrounded by people
who cared about me
and helped me
and pissed me off
and knew what I was feeling

I didn't really experience any pitfalls.
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:47 PM
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For myself personally, that is one reason I do not count days. I have a rough idea of how much clean time I currently have (about 8 months) but I found when I counted I would almost always "fail" right before a "big anniversary", like 30 days, 3 months, etc. I'm still not exactly sure why, I think it was like you said, it was easy to talk myself into saying, "I've been clean for such and such an ammount of time, I'm cured!! I'm sure I could just use a little and it would be OK." I can't tell you the hundereds of times I did that!!

At the same time, I know people with very long term sobriety who can tell you exactly how long they have been sober practaly down to the hour. I guess you just need to find what works for you. Take care.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:24 PM
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[QUOTE=SpaceButler;2458869]
30 days +: If I make it past the first week, I normally make it to a month. Got up to 3 months once. It's at this point where I'm convinced I've beaten it. QUOTE]

I've finally learned that I'm not going to beat it. I'm learning to live with being an alcoholic. Through this realization....I've finally found strength.

Welcome to SR.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:30 PM
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my pitfall use to be that I thought I couldn't get by without booze.

Now I know I can
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Old 12-13-2009, 10:30 PM
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For me, I relapsed in my mind long before I actually took a drink.

So, for me it is about identifying my "alcoholic thinking" and then using my tools that I have learned to counteract that thinking.

What I found was that in early sobriety, when I was not working a program of recovery, I didn't have adequate life coping tools to get through these times - and therefore I relapsed.

So, the simplist way that I have found to get through those days is:

(a) go to a meeting
(b) spend a few hours posting on SR
(c) go help another alcoholic
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Old 12-13-2009, 10:31 PM
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Thank you all. Just hearing other people talk about it helps keep me grounded in my goals.

And thanks coffeenut. I think I need to stop letting myself debate about it.
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Old 12-13-2009, 11:03 PM
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wow that sounds arrogant as all heck -
I didn't really experience any pitfalls.
I didn't mean it to read that way at all!

I MEANT that I'd gone so LOW...
that everything - even problems - were better than it had just been.
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Old 12-14-2009, 12:25 AM
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Hi ...

I did often return to drinking after I decided to quit.
Then I read a book that explained alcoholism to me.

Here is the link to excerpts perhaps you wil find it useful

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

And...please check out this article you may have missed it

How We Get Addicted - TIME

Welcome to our recovery community

Last edited by CarolD; 12-14-2009 at 01:31 AM. Reason: Added Link
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Old 12-14-2009, 01:45 AM
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Whenever i stopped for a few months by myself i always found out that i was the same person that i had been whilst drinking except it was worse as i couldn't get out of me head for any release from me. I needed a drastic personality change and found out how to do that in AA...in hindsight it's pretty obvious actually:-)
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Old 12-14-2009, 01:57 AM
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AA's getting a ringing endorsement, heh. I kind of gathered that by the layout of the website.

Maybe it's time to sit in on one. Couldn't hurt I suppose.
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Old 12-14-2009, 05:16 AM
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I just finally had to admit to myself that I was an alcoholic and therefore couldn't possibly drink "like normal people"...this led to a huge shift in my thinking. It's been working so far (nearly 6 months), but I find myself having to work at it every day.
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Old 12-14-2009, 05:46 AM
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My biggest reason for relapsing or being unable to quit is anxiety. If I get really bad anxiety I want to medicate it away, and that's the biggest reason for relapsing. I am learning how to deal with anxiety without drinking it away.
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Old 12-14-2009, 06:48 AM
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My biggest pitfall:

The husband.
Divorce is out of the question and I really don't want to shoot the guy, so I come to SR.
Worked so far.
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Old 12-14-2009, 06:53 AM
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Welcome to our Sober Recovery community!
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Old 12-14-2009, 09:16 AM
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Welcome!

Those are the EXACT things my addiction uses to tell me that it is ok to drink again. Remember that this is the only disease that tells you that you do not have it. Denial and rationalization are SYMPTOMS of the disease, jsut like a runny nose is a symptom of a cold. If you are experiencing these symptom, you may be an alcoholic/addict. One I recognized these thoughts as symptoms, I could see them for what they are : LIES. The truth is I have a disease that will lead me to drink if I do not get help on a DAILY BASIS.

I have tried many ways to control my drinking, succeeding for a little while but it has always (not sometimes, ALWAYS) resulted in a more devestating consequence each time. Today I know the truth and it's not worth it to obsess about regaining control.

Thank you so much for your honesty. That is the first hurdle in recovery and you are scaling it

The truth:
You will miss some fun times, but you will GAIN health and self respect.

((HUG))
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Old 12-14-2009, 10:38 AM
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Yeah, the prospect of learning to manage it is attractive; but time and time again, I fail hard... gain weight, embarrass myself.

Originally Posted by least View Post
My biggest reason for relapsing or being unable to quit is anxiety. If I get really bad anxiety I want to medicate it away, and that's the biggest reason for relapsing. I am learning how to deal with anxiety without drinking it away.
Thanks for this. There are times when I get a bit neurotic, and the first response is to 'zone out' with booze. I'll keep this post in mind when I come up to something like that.
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