hell
 

when i die, if god decides that i've lived a terrible life and chooses hell for me as opposed to heaven, he won't have to go to the trouble of sending me anywhere. he can just put my soul back in my old body and force me to live as an alcoholic all over again.
this is not self pity. i just happened to be pondering on whether or not there could possibly be a hell worse than living with untreated alcholism.
so far i've got nothin.
i'm grateful to be sober today and i'm praying for another 24 hours for everyone here including myself.

I think a worse hell would be having alcoholism, and knowing it, and not caring to make changes in order to get well.

Alcoholism IS hell. I've gone thru enough drinking and withdrawal to know that alcoholism is HELL on earth.

I've been there and I know where you are coming from. The good news is that you do have a choice whether you take that first drink. I suggest you get into AA if you aren't already. Listen, learn, and apply what you learn. It does get better if you stay sober, and believe it or not, it can get worse if you keep drinking. I wish you all the best.

Active addiction was a http://bestsmileys.com/evil/11.gif hell for me as well. Hope and a good addiction treatment brought me back into the light.

Hell was at the end of a bender and realising that once more you would have to go thru withdrawal and realising the damage you had done to yourself and others.

Agreed, Penny. The sheer terror/panic of coming down and wondering what chaos you might have caused that you'd now have to fix. Having to face up to all the mess while shaking and withdrawing. I don't dwell on those times, but can't afford to forget them.

I'm just gonna leave the past experience
of alcoholism as it is ...
meaning it's something I CAN do something about....

because the minute I try to imagine
something worse that that...

I'll manifest it.