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-   -   Overwhelmed, who's with me? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/189845-overwhelmed-whos-me.html)

vegibean 12-04-2009 08:39 AM

Overwhelmed, who's with me?
 
This is mostly a vent as I really feel the need to get it out there. Also, if anyone else is feeling the same way........

To take one distraction off of my list, the Facebook acct. is gone!!

This month I have school and work, ok, that's all good, but..........THE HOLIDAYS!!! And all else in between. Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

My youngest just started Cub Scouts so I've been running around attempting to get all of his stuff situated, keep up with the Den Leaders emails and change of meeting plans.......WOW!!!! Not so organized. :(

My X husband is working a PGA event and I have taken on some extra responsibilities there too. That was constant in our marriage, his work left little to nothing for anything else.........here I am again. It's ok, I accept, this too shall pass.

Anyway, I have also had requests from outsiders which I have said "no" to because I just don't have any extra time and at some point I HAVE to get some rest and down time for me.

How is everyone else coping this month? I KNOW I can't be the only one feeling this. Gotta love the holiday season. :)

Busy, busy, busy, busy................

:Xmasbah <------ that's PERFECT!!!! LOL!!!

CAPTAINZING2000 12-04-2009 08:46 AM

ever read a book called Future Shock? Pick this book up and read it!

vegibean 12-04-2009 09:07 AM

CAPTAIN, that's the problem, I don't need anything else this month. ;)

Really, I'm just venting, I need to get my stuff out of me. Enough on my plate..........

Saphie 12-04-2009 09:15 AM

Vent away. I bet you are too busy to think about drinking. If that's the case there is a great side to this. :)

vegibean 12-04-2009 09:25 AM


Originally Posted by Saphie (Post 2451726)
Vent away. I bet you are too busy to think about drinking. If that's the case there is a great side to this. :)

Yes Saphie, I'm sure there is. Drinking is DEFINITELY not any thought for resolution.

I think for the most part I want to just know I'm not the only one..........

*sigh* :)

ElegantlyWasted 12-04-2009 09:26 AM

Change is the only constant... Add the advent of the Internet and we have Future Shock squared and then some. For me serinity prayer type meditations help create balance and give context to where I am and where I'm going. Thanks for the post; I relate to everone who feels the added stress that the holidays add. I try to focus on it being the most wonderful time of the year and avoid weight gain; should be easier this year; No Booz! Happy holidays everyone.

laurie6781 12-04-2009 09:32 AM


I bet you are too busy to think about drinking. If that's the case there is a great side to this.
This can be very true and I admit I stayed extremely busy those first years in recovery, however, I also had to remember H.A.L.T.

H - hungry
A - angry
L - lonely
T - tired

And when any of those would hit they would throw me off, so that required me to learn 'balance' in my life also. Do what I absolutely HAD to do and then take some time for ME. To read, relax, rest, go to a meeting or whatever.

The days preceding my first Thanksgiving and Christmas sober were terrifying. I had some pretty bad memories of all my previous holidays. Then my sponsor said something to me I had never thought of ................................ I could make new memories, WOW what a concept.

First Turkey Day and Xmas I went to the Mission (yes Clancy's in downtown L.A.) and helped serve and clean up. It was really great.

After that for years I held an 'Open House' buffet style from Noon to 8pm for any and all in the fellowship and that was so neat. Lots of fellowship and just plain fun and chit chat. I would prepare for weeks ahead of time and the week of the event be doing a lot of cooking and baking after work into the night. Yes some folks would bring something to add to the table but I wanted that table to be full so folks could go back for seconds. Yes it was a lot of hard work but I learned how to take 'pleasure' in doing for my fellow man.

So Vegi, sounds like your plate IS pretty full. VENT AWAY. We are here for you, but please remember to take those 15 minutes or more here and there for YOU. Do some deep breathing and bring the calmness back. We have a choice today to NOT feed the chaos, and instead walk through it with peace and serenity.

Know we are with you in spirit.

Love and hugs,

sailorjohn 12-04-2009 09:48 AM

Well, I'm coping, and savoring the irony of it all. And having a little distraction helps too.

jahnilee59 12-04-2009 10:11 AM

Vegibean, I am filling my hours with trying to be of service. I have spent so much time serving myself only, that it is a real joy to get out of myself and do something for someone else. I have lots of time as I am unemployed and I find it very helpful to not sit around the house and dwell on holidays past. I know this is not your kind of problem, but you are serving others every day. Give yourself some credit for that and take some time for yourself. Best wishes of the season. John in Oklahoma

ElegantlyWasted 12-04-2009 12:00 PM


Originally Posted by jahnilee59 (Post 2451762)
Vegibean, I am filling my hours with trying to be of service. I have spent so much time serving myself only, that it is a real joy to get out of myself and do something for someone else. I have lots of time as I am unemployed and I find it very helpful to not sit around the house and dwell on holidays past. I know this is not your kind of problem, but you are serving others every day. Give yourself some credit for that and take some time for yourself. Best wishes of the season. John in Oklahoma

Funny how serving others is actually serving ourselves in the best possible
way (took me about 20 years to figure it out). Great thought to help with that holliday stress. Tis the season!

CAPTAINZING2000 12-04-2009 12:10 PM

Comes a time we have to use a two letter word called no. Hardest word to use. Want another drink, I never said no. Like another line, I never said no. Like to be my door mat? Duh, of course I will walk all over me.


I can't sit here and tell you what you have to do for certain to find your balance in life.
I do admire any single parent though. It was hard for me when, I had any of my kids with living with me

Aysha 12-04-2009 02:14 PM

I have so much going on from messing up last month. I dont have time to worry about the holidays. I dont have kids or a man. I dont buy presents and couldnt if I wanted to. Not even doing cards this year.
I am not a holiday lover. Def BAH HUMBUG.

Texasblind 12-04-2009 02:56 PM

Oh Vegi, I feel your pain. The holidays are the biggest time of the year for guys like me. I make 1/2 a year's worth of money in six weeks. I'm struggling too, especially when I'm out of town.

All I can offer is meetings. I've found a great group that tolerates my 6 weeks out of a year schedule, but they all email and call me during the off times and it helps immensely. Overwhelming thoughts hit us all, it's like "godda** can't I just have a drink to disappear for awhile?" But I know where that drink will lead. I know you're struggling, but keep it up and reach out to SR friends.

If I could lose my facebook account, I would. So congrats to you Veg!

Rowan 12-04-2009 03:06 PM

I sure can relate to being overwhelmed, Caitlin. I worked hard to get a new job, and it starts on Tuesday! It will require a longer commute, intense physical training, less time with my daughter, and very little time to prepare for the holidays. The plus side is, it's only for the month of December, and then I'll be 'on' the job in January for the real training.

I had been on a waiting list with a psychiatrist from my breakdown in July and finally got in to see him. I had been feeling 'flat' yet stable. He gave me a new diagnosis and wrote me a script which I promptly filled. I couldn't tolerate the meds and began experiencing extreme anxiety and fear. I'm still very agitated and full of panic - I'm having racing thoughts that I'm having a very difficult time controlling.

I hope I haven't hijacked your post - I just wanted to let you know that you definitely aren't alone - sending you strength, hugs, and prayers.

least 12-04-2009 03:52 PM

I don't 'do' holidays well, I get depressed. I know about needing down time, 'me' time. Not always easy to do but necessary to keep from getting burnt out.

(((hugs)))

gerryP 12-04-2009 03:54 PM

I'm with you vegibean. December is especially busy with more things to accomplish on top of everything else! It's overwhelming for me because it all comes at once, another thing to cross off the list until you are exhausted. Another problem. As much as you know you need rest and take down time, often times you just can't because of these extra commitments. I hear ya! Can't wait til January!

polkadot 12-04-2009 11:01 PM


Originally Posted by vegibean (Post 2451699)
This is mostly a vent as I really feel the need to get it out there. Also, if anyone else is feeling the same way........

To take one distraction off of my list, the Facebook acct. is gone!!

This month I have school and work, ok, that's all good, but..........THE HOLIDAYS!!! And all else in between. Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

My youngest just started Cub Scouts so I've been running around attempting to get all of his stuff situated, keep up with the Den Leaders emails and change of meeting plans.......WOW!!!! Not so organized. :(

My X husband is working a PGA event and I have taken on some extra responsibilities there too. That was constant in our marriage, his work left little to nothing for anything else.........here I am again. It's ok, I accept, this too shall pass.

Anyway, I have also had requests from outsiders which I have said "no" to because I just don't have any extra time and at some point I HAVE to get some rest and down time for me.

How is everyone else coping this month? I KNOW I can't be the only one feeling this. Gotta love the holiday season. :)

Busy, busy, busy, busy................

:Xmasbah <------ that's PERFECT!!!! LOL!!!

How do u find the energy?? I am a v egetable anyway right now and reading what all u have to do made me feel guilty for me do NOTHING.... pity for myself but I am good at that...slow down and take care of u!! thanks for the post

thirtybubba 12-04-2009 11:13 PM

Hi Vegi... you're not alone.

And I'm on that growing list too... maybe it is the holiday season, maybe not. Most of my stress is fixing what I messed up from having the flu, and finals. But I was going crazy last week... might have it under control now.

I think for some reason, even with the holidays, everybody plans everything for around this time. End of the year, maybe? Everything seems to be happening now...

Take care of yourself, and I love what Saphie pointed out. It's so true...
TB


PS. Polkadot, nice avatar. I guess we're twins?

polkadot 12-04-2009 11:19 PM

Good taste I would say. ha
 
You know i didnt even notice until i read ur reply and i thought hey thats me...ha. i should be trying to sleep but cant..of course.. nothing comes easy these days..

of all the avatars in the world who would have thought...... really is funny. i like kitties...

Impurrfect 12-05-2009 01:28 AM

awww, (((Vegi)), I'm overwhelmed, too, but it's not the holidays...just other stuff. Working 2 jobs that aren't paying enough, trying to find a 3rd so I can quit one; school; trying to spend time with my 16-year-old niece, and just got back from a trip to MO with my dad for HIS business with 36+ hours in a an with no sleep.

Luckily, the only "kids" I have, have fur and say "meow" so they're pretty low maintenance. I have no money for presents, so that makes Christmas shopping pretty easy, but makes me feel like ****.

We'll get through it all. Just a few more weeks and the holidays will be over!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy


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