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Pink Cloud?

Old 12-02-2009, 12:00 PM
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Pink Cloud?

I know we have had these iscussions alot in the past. I have some questions.

How long does a pink cloud usually last?
How can you tell if thats what it is?

You all seen how crazy I was before I relapsed. It was like my life was perfect and everything was falling into place with little effort. I mean I made efforts where needed but alot of the other things just kinda fell right into place. My father told me I was on a pink cloud. If thats true I was on it for a few months. I didnt think they lasted that long. But it also did cross my mind that that may be why I was feeling the way I was. I mean it was like I was in a freakin fantasy land. I honestly couldnt believe how great everything was going.

Is the pink cloud just a feeling or does it also come from what happens in your life.
Menaing I felt like a million bucks but at the same time I am not lieing. Everything went just as I had hoped for. I mean everything.

Some people like that cloud. Some get alot from it. But I always seem to crash hard from it.

Anyone have any insight?
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Old 12-02-2009, 12:07 PM
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Pink clouds for me never had an explanation... like I felt good for no particular reason. I remember them well. They are mostly gone, but the dark valleys are too (those crash landings...)... so that's OK.

Keep working on recovery in a way that is meaningful for you.... pretty soon things will seem more right, more everyday OK... not all fluffy pink or dark grey clouds. But spiritual growth was essential for me.

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Old 12-02-2009, 12:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Aysha View Post
It was like my life was perfect and everything was falling into place with little effort. I mean I made efforts where needed but alot of the other things just kinda fell right into place.
That's exactly what it's like for me, but I guess it also means that I get a little too comfortable and start to lose site of reality, meaning that "life happens" and it's probably going to creep up on me and kick me into the gutter if I'm not careful.

That's exactly what happened a few nights ago. I've been floating along on that pink cloud for a long time. Sure I've had some financial struggles recently, just life on life's terms, but family, home, recovery, marriage have been great. Sunday night it all fell apart.

It's up to me whether to react to it or not, and I know without a doubt that drinking over it won't improve anything. It is what it is, I've made it through much worse.
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Old 12-02-2009, 12:10 PM
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Yea. I understand that. But nothing happened to make me relapse. I just went. Nothing was wrong.
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Old 12-02-2009, 12:12 PM
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For me, nothing has to be "wrong" to make me want to drink. I drank when everything was going right too. I also believe that nothing makes me want to drink, it's a personal decision that can't be blamed on people, places, or things.
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Old 12-02-2009, 12:31 PM
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I was like Astro, T. I drank or did whatever because I was addicted.

I used drinking as a compliment for everything, so there was always a 'reason' -
Sometimes the reason was 'no reason/why not?'.

As for pink clouds, I'm not sure I had one - I felt good in the early days, but I never felt this was my new default mode of existence - I'd 'quit' many times and knew what to expect - I accepted from the outset I'd have to work at this.

D
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Old 12-02-2009, 01:06 PM
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I had a pink cloud after every relapse...except for this last one.

I felt defeated the last time.
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Old 12-02-2009, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Aysha View Post
I know we have had these iscussions alot in the past. I have some questions.

How long does a pink cloud usually last?
How can you tell if thats what it is?

You all seen how crazy I was before I relapsed. It was like my life was perfect and everything was falling into place with little effort. I mean I made efforts where needed but alot of the other things just kinda fell right into place. My father told me I was on a pink cloud. If thats true I was on it for a few months. I didnt think they lasted that long. But it also did cross my mind that that may be why I was feeling the way I was. I mean it was like I was in a freakin fantasy land. I honestly couldnt believe how great everything was going.

Is the pink cloud just a feeling or does it also come from what happens in your life.
Menaing I felt like a million bucks but at the same time I am not lieing. Everything went just as I had hoped for. I mean everything.

Some people like that cloud. Some get alot from it. But I always seem to crash hard from it.

Anyone have any insight?
I've never had a pink cloud, which is why I cannot stay sober. I just sink, sink, sink. But God Bless ya if you've had one.

Near as I can surmise, you may be running into PAWS. The good news is PAWS in your situation is you might not have an underlying psychiatric condition. You may only have the drug issue to overcome. Your prognosis is favorable.
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Old 12-02-2009, 01:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Astro View Post
For me, nothing has to be "wrong" to make me want to drink. I drank when everything was going right too. I also believe that nothing makes me want to drink, it's a personal decision that can't be blamed on people, places, or things.
I disagree with this. 60% of the population with addiction have co-occuring disorders. They self medicate. I don't think we are dealing with this case here, but one does not have to blame people, places or things to self-medicate. It is a brain disease.
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Old 12-02-2009, 02:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Aysha View Post

How long does a pink cloud usually last?
How can you tell if thats what it is?

Is the pink cloud just a feeling or does it also come from what happens in your life.
Menaing I felt like a million bucks but at the same time I am not lieing. Everything went just as I had hoped for. I mean everything.
There is no reason that the "Pink Cloud" can't continue for weeks or months at a time. I have found the that the more I live by Spiritual Principles the more peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose I get in return.

I find that if I "act as if" there is something like Karma taking place in the universe, the Universe "acts as if" there is something like Karma taking place in my life.
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Old 12-02-2009, 04:57 PM
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For me, it was not the presence of pink clouds, it was the black ones fading and coming back less and less often in the last months
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Old 12-02-2009, 05:17 PM
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I dont like the pink cloud effect. Its a false sense of everything good that happens when in it. It is to me.
Maybe I just dont know how to deal with it. But it eventually leads me to get too comfortable. Way too comfortable way too fast.
I know nothing makes me do anything. I didnt mean that in that sense.
I would much rather not have it.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:11 PM
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I agree with Dee....I've heard about that pink cloud, but I don't think I experienced it....or maybe I did but was just too dumb to know it!

But, as I read your last post, I never allowed myself to get too comfortable...I was too scared to do that.

Trish, I so admire how you refuse to give up. You have explored so many different possibilities....I wish you peace.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:55 PM
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Thx. But I have to make some serious progress and get some stable clean time. I cant screw up again.
Its all nice to keep trying. But not to use it as an excuse to keep using either. If that makes sense.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:58 PM
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I dont know..... I think the "Pink cloud" is something that needs to be expeirenced after the worst of a withdrawl.... Instead of just feeling, ok..... I think this "pink cloud" gives me hope, that there is happiness, were everything can be right without your vise.... I think "Pink cloud" can be endless..... And honestly, I cant wait until I feel it....
The common problem is, the feeling that "Well that wasnt so bad, I feel fine now, forgotten the hell ive just been threw, Im gonna relapse."..... thats were I can see why the "pink cloud" can be bad. but this is coming from someone on day two of the worst withdrawl I have ever experienced.... So I might completly change my mind tomorrow.
God bless.
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Old 12-02-2009, 11:23 PM
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This is how it has been explained to me by my sponsor.

The pink cloud is similar to when you get a new hobby, job, house, partner etc...you are all buzzed up and enthusiastic for a period of time, the length of time varies from person to person. At some point it ends and things settle down...if you have done enough work on yourself to spark a dramatic personality change in this time then you will be able to cope...if you haven't you end up in some trouble, which may mean drinking/using again or worse.

This does make sense as i have seen it in the rooms in the short time i have been around, few have drunk/used again, one has become much more calm and serene, others share like they are split personality and rub their heads a lot. Only one of them has worked the steps, you can guess which one:-)
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Old 12-03-2009, 03:33 AM
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now hold on to that Pink Cloud Zip!

here's a topic i can really sink my new teef in!

back when i sobered up, and i mean sobered up, not just not using.

i remember going to some NY outgoing speaker comitments and talking about the Pink Cloud, and how i still had it...

some people, including my first sponsor were trying to knock me off of it, and the Rats of Additions too!
hell, one day sponsor even said'''

"when the hell are you going to get off that Pink Cloud of yours?"

i was damm P.O'd

then said, sorry you feel that way bub!

its your stuff, not mine...

anyway, those old timers came up to me after the meetings and said, Sonny, mind you i was 50 then!

Sonny, that Pink Cloud can last the rest of your life, if you want it to, and do the work to keep it...

it aint just that feeling of euphoria in the beginning, its with the growth of recovery, acceptence, the emotional rearangement, and called... growing up!

hell, a dear departed sober bro used to say when i came into one of the rooms,

Here comes Cloudy!

no, life aint a bed of roses everyday, and some days, it just blows...

that cloud does have some shades of pinkish grey!

its that PC that helps me to deal with it, cope with it, and not use over it!
and if i do fall,

no, i dont have a Pink Parachute!

there's plenty of room on that Pink Cloud for anyone that wants it...

all good wishes out!
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Old 12-03-2009, 05:39 AM
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I am in a rather numb state, but I don't think I am experiencing any pink cloud, and yeah the addict in me feels sorta cheated. I'm working this thing, but um...I guess I'm just fooling myself. Maybe I am going through the motions but not working it, how am I supposed to tell?

How do I really know if my surrender is complete enough, if my inventory is fearless enough? If the pink cloud is the way you tell...then I guess I am failing at this recovery thing.

They tell me results matter...and I have strung together more sober days than I ever did before, and I do feel pretty good about that, and determined to string together some more. But it can be pretty perplexing to sit in meeting and hear about miracles and pink clouds and new leases on life and wonder if and when I'm going to get a taste of that.

someone told me after meeting yesterday that if I keep looking for dog crap that is all I am going to find. Yesterday, someone left a flaming bag of it on my doorstep and I got it all over me stomping out the fire (metaphorically that is). I don't feel like I went looking for it, yet somehow it found me. If that is life on life's terms, then I guess I am living it.

I didn't use over it, that's results right?

Maybe all clouds aren't pink, maybe mine is one of those white fluffy ones, or the one's that go all orange at purple at sunset, or maybe even those really wispy up high ones that you see on cold days. Or maybe I'm in the "I'm not using, but my feet are still on the ground and the only cloud I see is fog" stage.
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Old 12-03-2009, 06:04 AM
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Well, let's see...6 months so far. LOL
I feel great and happy and I'm getting my health back. Why wouldn't I be happy? The only dark times are when I need to do the hard work on the underlying issues. That kind of sucks. So a few bad days here and there, but the other days are based in gratitude - my new DOC.
Do you think your relapse had anything to do with your surgery?
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Old 12-03-2009, 06:24 AM
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That pink cloud term gets thrown around a lot and means different things to different people. I used to joke around about 'how long can this last' well past my first year of sobriety. Although I was pretty euphoric for a good long while, it was different than my previous attempts at sobriety. It felt grounded and based in wonder and a lot of certainty. I was amazed a lot of the time.

I've been around long enough now to have a healthy concern for people that seem to have everything going just great in early sobriety. I've seen over and over someone who gets things all put together in their life; the job is back, they get the legal stuff settled, the spouse lets them come home, they can drive again, only to relapse hard for seemingly no good reason.

Having everything go well seems to distract them from doing any real work in recovery. The sobriety is based on circumstance in life, and that kind of sobriety rarely lasts. Far better, I've come to believe, is someone who struggles enough that they stay motivated in taking the steps. That usually requires staying rooted in step 1.
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