spen71

As the title says the party season is just around the corner. I do not know I am going to handle it. For 23 years I have drank, it was always the family tradition to go the pub before Christmas dinner. Boxing Day was pub then party then back to my parents house. Since I moved out it is the same at my house. I am dreading it this year as I will seem like a right party pooper.

Any ideas on getting throught the "festive" season????

penny74

Not really..
Have the same problem.
Can hardly imagine X-mas without drink.
Just take it as it comes with a nice glass of coke, l spose..and endure.
Good luck.

" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

yeahgr8

Well im not back in England till 10th Jan! I'm catsitting in Barcelona...where i know...no-one much...so will be hitting lots of AA meetings and forcing people to come out for coffee with me (i meant asking;-))...

Yep i remember the christmas times in blighty, if i was doing the family thing i would be going for lots of long walks and skipping the pub bit, finding out what meetings were about...as has been said you just got to suck it up...this is my first xmas sober in 20 years...go with a will have a good time anyway attitude, if it all goes **** up and you think **** this im leaving thats ok too:-)

Dime

Now that I have had a couple of holiday seasons sober I can't imagine screwing things up with booze. It helps me to remember the grief that alcohol created for myself and especially my family. Being sober is so much easier and there are no consequences to deal with after the holiday season. Being able to think and having the energy to do things is so much better.

Horselover

It isn't easy for sure when you become sober around the holidays. I just spent my 2nd Thanksgiving sober and it was much better this year then last year. Last year I resented the fact I couldn't join in with everyone else and this year it was finally accepted by me that I am done with that part of the holiday and I'm okay with that. Thanksgiving is really about the eating and not drinking as I once thought it was. Christmas is totally not about the drinking. There is a deeper meaning there and I was too numb to see it. New Years is another story, but I have changed that routine too. We now have family movie night. Change what was and make it brand new to fit the healthier you.

Acceptance is also key and letting go of resentments because you can't be like "them" is another important factor. Its taken awhile for me to get there, but I believe I am finally. Not to say I don't have work to do, but time will help you.

I would also suggest you pledge not to quit daily and have maybe an escape plan if things get to centered in your mind on alcohol.

Stay close to SR and IF you attend AA hit more meetings during this time. Get numbers of people you can call.

Gypsy Feet

The night that convinced me my drinking was out of control was a holiday party last year. Thankfully today, I can not remember the absolute despair of December 28, 2008 without immediately being overwhelmingly joyful at what has transpired since. I can only think how nice it is that I won't ruin the holidays for my family this year. I have a few family members who are extremely supportive who I can duck in a corner with if I need to, and I will hit as many meeting between December 23 and January 2nd as I can.

least

I dread the coming of Christmas as it's the most depressing time of the year for me. As for not drinking, I have only to remember the last time I drank and went thru withdrawals - again - to turn me against drinking. The small bit of relief the alcohol gives is so temporary and feels so awful afterward that it's not worth drinking, at least, not for me. I just have to remind myself of where I don't want to end up.

Saphie

You could opt not to go to the pub. It's much easier then trying to resist temptation that's right in front of you. Stay home, watch a movie instead, stuff yourself with good food. Do you have supportive friends/family that will join you? Remember: It's one Christmas only, stick it out and next year will be much easier. Why are you worried about being a party pooper? I found that people who thought that aren't really worth hanging out with anyway. You will probably find that not many will even notice you not drinking.
Be the designated driver and that will be your present to others. But..... if you are really really worried - don't go out! It just won't be worth it. I wish you a very sober Christmas and New Year and if it turns out to be happy too, even better.

juliwuli

It's my first sober christmas too im really looking foreward to it, even when i was drinking tho i used to think 'what on earth has drinking got to do with christmas?'
this year im going to enjoy spending time with the family rather than 'zoned off' in a world of my own,

ClosetExtrovert

I've found that the only people that even NOTICE you're not drinking are the people that are drunks. This year no one even found my abstaining as odd. And I thought Thanksgiving would be weird but it wasn't. I thought the big 4th of July party would be weird, but it wasn't. I thought the big Halloween party would...well, you get the picture. I'm scared a little about Christmas because I still don't trust myself yet, but so far it's been ok. And the next morning is fantastic...

ClosetExtrovert

Yep. Perfectly put. Thanks.

Mark75

Last Christmas was my first sober one. Basically, I just wrote it off, I was still very new in my sobriety. This year is much better and I am anticipating a nice holiday season.

Problem was, I figured I'd just do everything the same way sans alcohol. Well, that isn't how I see it now. I am looking to do different things, in a different way.

Maybe not going to the Pub this year?

Instead... go to a christmas concert.... help out with those who would benefit... find ways to brighten the season of those whom you love...

Get out of yourself. Tall order, I know.... I didn't do so great last year, but I am optimistic and excited this season!

Mark

Dee74

Some great ideas here Spen

I definitely think doing things differently, rather than trying to do the usual things but sober, is the way to go.

If you simply can't avoid drinking situations, always have an escape plan in case things turn on you.

Try to stay in the day too - all we ever have to do is stay sober today Spen

D

coffeenut

After 30 years drunk, this is my second sober holiday season. No way in hell I thought I could do that....but I did, and I am. I just know I'm not going to drink.....I'm not going to use the holiday as an excuse to turn into a drunk.

With time, sober holidays can almost bring you to tears with happiness. The feeling of finally having your life back. I'm not exaggerating.

spen71

My parents come and they love to drink. Probably my brother and the out-laws will come. So I will have to get my thinking head on and think of some escape plans. I think the one "my kids need to go home as they are tired"

Ainslie

I had my first sober xmas last year, bought a juice extractor and heaps of tropical fruit to distract myself with and also the kids that were around

Saphie

Whatever works for you Spen. Maybe even leave an unwrapped present and tell your kids they can have it when they get home. I bet they want to go earlier than usual.

ClosetExtrovert

That actually sounds like fun! Smoothies!

Ainslie

Yea depending on what is available you can get pretty creative.....and yea if you just want to make smoothies then you dont need a juicer, just a blender.

Grannysmith apples and strawberries/raspberries together is my favourite.. You can pretty much chuck anything in though.

NB, if buying a juice extractor, its worth spending a little extra (around $80AU) some of the cheaper ones fall apart or the motors die pretty quickly. Get one that you can just stick pretty much the whole piece of fruit in, then it doesnt require too much effort. Christmas aside, its a much easier way to get your fruit intake.