I finally found my bottom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 138
I finally found my bottom
Hi everyone,
Haven't been on here much lately.
I've been trying to stay sober for almost a year. I've learned a lot, gained a lot of tools.
The longest I've made it is 63 days, I have over 200 days clean this year which is quite an accomplishment for me. I've been drinking for over 30 years.
Last week I screwd up again,then went on my lunch break of my job of 10 years, I usually eat lunch in my car so I can smoke. I went to my car, drove home and never went back.
That was Wednesday, went to my work on Friday morning and apoligized to my boss for walking out without a notice. She gave me a hug and told me it was ok, said sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do.
On Saturday a coworker stopped by my house and said the boss wanted to talk to me, wanted me to stop in on Monday.
I went to work to talk to her on Monday and she told me she was punching me in at work for a few hours Monday and Tuesday and had me fill out a vacation slip. She said she fixed my file so it looked like I put in a two weeks notice so I could get my vacation time coming.
I had been so depressed that morning that I had made an appointment for an alcohol acessment with the county scheduled for the next day. I was now unemployed and without health insurance so I qualified for a free accessment.
My boss said if I went to treatment and couldn't find a job I was welcome back there at any time.
At my acessment today because I have no job I qualified for a 30 day inpatient program. They granted me 30+ days and full medical benefits and I go in on Thursday.
The treatment center is over 2 hours away. They offered to pick me up and I said I'd find my own ride.
I have family in the area and decided to drive myself most of the way. So far I have had 10 family members offer to take me there.
It's scary leaving home for a month or more but anyone struggling out there should keep trying to stay sober. When you fall, keep picking yourself up again.
For me things finally all came together.
I've never been offered rides anywhere by so many people.
The acessor shook my hand today and thanked me for being open and honest and wished me the best. She said she was used to court ordered people that don't want help and are in denial.
Eleven months ago when I got out of detox and was supposed to have this same acessment I was told I made too much money.
I have finally hit my bottom and now I have people offering to help me. It is amazing.
Haven't been on here much lately.
I've been trying to stay sober for almost a year. I've learned a lot, gained a lot of tools.
The longest I've made it is 63 days, I have over 200 days clean this year which is quite an accomplishment for me. I've been drinking for over 30 years.
Last week I screwd up again,then went on my lunch break of my job of 10 years, I usually eat lunch in my car so I can smoke. I went to my car, drove home and never went back.
That was Wednesday, went to my work on Friday morning and apoligized to my boss for walking out without a notice. She gave me a hug and told me it was ok, said sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do.
On Saturday a coworker stopped by my house and said the boss wanted to talk to me, wanted me to stop in on Monday.
I went to work to talk to her on Monday and she told me she was punching me in at work for a few hours Monday and Tuesday and had me fill out a vacation slip. She said she fixed my file so it looked like I put in a two weeks notice so I could get my vacation time coming.
I had been so depressed that morning that I had made an appointment for an alcohol acessment with the county scheduled for the next day. I was now unemployed and without health insurance so I qualified for a free accessment.
My boss said if I went to treatment and couldn't find a job I was welcome back there at any time.
At my acessment today because I have no job I qualified for a 30 day inpatient program. They granted me 30+ days and full medical benefits and I go in on Thursday.
The treatment center is over 2 hours away. They offered to pick me up and I said I'd find my own ride.
I have family in the area and decided to drive myself most of the way. So far I have had 10 family members offer to take me there.
It's scary leaving home for a month or more but anyone struggling out there should keep trying to stay sober. When you fall, keep picking yourself up again.
For me things finally all came together.
I've never been offered rides anywhere by so many people.
The acessor shook my hand today and thanked me for being open and honest and wished me the best. She said she was used to court ordered people that don't want help and are in denial.
Eleven months ago when I got out of detox and was supposed to have this same acessment I was told I made too much money.
I have finally hit my bottom and now I have people offering to help me. It is amazing.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
Jane, your story carries a great message, recovery is freely available to those who truly want it and continue to reach out for support. Can't wait to hear more from you as your journey continues, I'll be praying for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 138
Thanks everyone for the support and encouragement.
Somehow I managed to get everything taken care of today getting ready for leaving. The kids were a great help. I wrote out checks to pay my bills and my daughter in law is taking care of that for me.
I put up a Christmas tree for my youngest son who will be at home alone while I'm gone with his older brothers keeping tabs on him, got presents wrapped for my grandkids and my boys and wives/girlfriends understand I didn't have the time before I leave to get all my shopping done.
Homemade donuts on Christmas morning have been a tradition at my house since the boys were little. One son asked last night, "Who'll make the donuts?"
A daughter in law came over tonight and got the donut recipe and tips on how to make them, she plans to surprise the others.
I had a huge list of things to get done today and somehow it all got taken care of and things really have fell into place for me.
As Coffeenut and Horselover said, I have been given a great gift, an opportunity of a lifetime. I'm going to take it.
It's scary leaving and going to treatment, leaving everything I know behind and going to someplace I've never been, the drive there will be tough. At the same time I feel relief, I'm finally getting the help I need and I'm going to grasp onto that.
It just amazes me how everything has fallen into place for me.
I'll leave tomorrow morning knowing I have nothing to worry about at home, everything has been taken care of for me.
So after tonight I won't be on here for a month or more.
When I get back maybe I will be more helpful to others. Mostly now I just read on here and don't write much.
Thanks to everyone on SR, I've been reading here for over a year and have been a member for about a year. I've learned a lot from others on here. I think SR has played a part in getting me to where I am today, which is messed up, but a whole lot better than I was a year ago and on my way to getting better.
Somehow I managed to get everything taken care of today getting ready for leaving. The kids were a great help. I wrote out checks to pay my bills and my daughter in law is taking care of that for me.
I put up a Christmas tree for my youngest son who will be at home alone while I'm gone with his older brothers keeping tabs on him, got presents wrapped for my grandkids and my boys and wives/girlfriends understand I didn't have the time before I leave to get all my shopping done.
Homemade donuts on Christmas morning have been a tradition at my house since the boys were little. One son asked last night, "Who'll make the donuts?"
A daughter in law came over tonight and got the donut recipe and tips on how to make them, she plans to surprise the others.
I had a huge list of things to get done today and somehow it all got taken care of and things really have fell into place for me.
As Coffeenut and Horselover said, I have been given a great gift, an opportunity of a lifetime. I'm going to take it.
It's scary leaving and going to treatment, leaving everything I know behind and going to someplace I've never been, the drive there will be tough. At the same time I feel relief, I'm finally getting the help I need and I'm going to grasp onto that.
It just amazes me how everything has fallen into place for me.
I'll leave tomorrow morning knowing I have nothing to worry about at home, everything has been taken care of for me.
So after tonight I won't be on here for a month or more.
When I get back maybe I will be more helpful to others. Mostly now I just read on here and don't write much.
Thanks to everyone on SR, I've been reading here for over a year and have been a member for about a year. I've learned a lot from others on here. I think SR has played a part in getting me to where I am today, which is messed up, but a whole lot better than I was a year ago and on my way to getting better.
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