Greetings SR, Nick here.
Student Seeking Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 9
Greetings SR, Nick here.
Greetings everyone, my name is Nick, and I'm a freshly turned 19 year old who attends Indiana University, and I'm seeking assistance with my lifestyle habits. Up until this point, I've done just fine balancing school and play, but I realize my use of substances in order to feel alright is having a more critical impact on my self, even if it isn't impacting my grades.
A little about why I've decided now is the time:
I'm the type of person who is very interested in drugs and their effects. I always have been, before I even began using I researched them and read other peoples experiences. I feel some of this is partially due to my upbringing, I come from a 2-parent household where both parents are alcoholics. Growing up was a little rough, especially around the holidays where it just became one large alcohol fueled argument. Mom was always the one to bring up little things in the past just to make you feel bad, and Dad always encouraged us to just ignore her and she would eventually settle down. This led to my father retreating away in the garage just to get away from my mother. I always hated holidays for this reason, and events similar to this happened aside from holidays as well. When I grew up a little bit (around the age of 15) I decided to try marijuana, and took a great liking to it. Almost immediately I began smoking on a constant basis, seeming as I had a large group of friends who where already smoking marijuana a lot. Eventually this led into my nicotine addiction, where I would smoke a cigarette after every time I smoked weed. Time went on, and I became interested in other substances, which I would always read about before I tried them, but rather quickly I tried numerous substances. By the time I was 17 I had tried adderal, different types of pain pills,ecstasy,mushrooms,cocaine and dextromethorphan. The thing about my use that allowed myself to justify it all was that I never binged, or did what a user would consider an excessive amount, I would just have nights where I would get really messed up. I figured as long as these substances didn't have an effect physically they couldn't be that bad, so I considered my use very responsible. This went on , and I never considered myself addicted to anything more then marijuana and nicotine, but I consider myself now to be addicted to substances. I enjoy the feeling of having my mind altered, and I want to get over that, because I know sober life is wonderful, I just haven't experienced total sobriety for over 3 years now.
What really sparked this need to quit was this past weekend, where my father, who was fired from a car dealership after 25 years and decided to take up a job in the trucking industry (which he hates) attempted to commit suicide. He drank 2 bottles of vodka and just wanted to walk around "until his heart exploded." It was just a really bad night, and I hated to see my dad calling himself a failure, on the front of supporting the family financially and being involved with his kids' lives. To be honest, my father wasn't all that involved in my childhood, but I understand that his financial support is what made our family what it is today, but after the night he tried to take his own life, I've decided I want my dad to take an active role in my life from now on. He is currently in a Psychiatric Pavilion and will be released today. He is 7 days sober from alcohol and nicotine, and I'm pretty sure this is his first week without cigarettes in over 25 years, which makes me very proud of him. Things between him and my mom are a little shaky at the moment, but I hope that if they both get sober (with the addition of me getting sober) everything will work its way back to a stable household. I would like to thank Sober Recovery for providing a free forum to help me with this process, and I look forward to finding the joys in life that I know are there.
A little about why I've decided now is the time:
I'm the type of person who is very interested in drugs and their effects. I always have been, before I even began using I researched them and read other peoples experiences. I feel some of this is partially due to my upbringing, I come from a 2-parent household where both parents are alcoholics. Growing up was a little rough, especially around the holidays where it just became one large alcohol fueled argument. Mom was always the one to bring up little things in the past just to make you feel bad, and Dad always encouraged us to just ignore her and she would eventually settle down. This led to my father retreating away in the garage just to get away from my mother. I always hated holidays for this reason, and events similar to this happened aside from holidays as well. When I grew up a little bit (around the age of 15) I decided to try marijuana, and took a great liking to it. Almost immediately I began smoking on a constant basis, seeming as I had a large group of friends who where already smoking marijuana a lot. Eventually this led into my nicotine addiction, where I would smoke a cigarette after every time I smoked weed. Time went on, and I became interested in other substances, which I would always read about before I tried them, but rather quickly I tried numerous substances. By the time I was 17 I had tried adderal, different types of pain pills,ecstasy,mushrooms,cocaine and dextromethorphan. The thing about my use that allowed myself to justify it all was that I never binged, or did what a user would consider an excessive amount, I would just have nights where I would get really messed up. I figured as long as these substances didn't have an effect physically they couldn't be that bad, so I considered my use very responsible. This went on , and I never considered myself addicted to anything more then marijuana and nicotine, but I consider myself now to be addicted to substances. I enjoy the feeling of having my mind altered, and I want to get over that, because I know sober life is wonderful, I just haven't experienced total sobriety for over 3 years now.
What really sparked this need to quit was this past weekend, where my father, who was fired from a car dealership after 25 years and decided to take up a job in the trucking industry (which he hates) attempted to commit suicide. He drank 2 bottles of vodka and just wanted to walk around "until his heart exploded." It was just a really bad night, and I hated to see my dad calling himself a failure, on the front of supporting the family financially and being involved with his kids' lives. To be honest, my father wasn't all that involved in my childhood, but I understand that his financial support is what made our family what it is today, but after the night he tried to take his own life, I've decided I want my dad to take an active role in my life from now on. He is currently in a Psychiatric Pavilion and will be released today. He is 7 days sober from alcohol and nicotine, and I'm pretty sure this is his first week without cigarettes in over 25 years, which makes me very proud of him. Things between him and my mom are a little shaky at the moment, but I hope that if they both get sober (with the addition of me getting sober) everything will work its way back to a stable household. I would like to thank Sober Recovery for providing a free forum to help me with this process, and I look forward to finding the joys in life that I know are there.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi Nick and Welcome,
I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life. Stopping using drugs will be hard, but you can do it and we are here to offer you support. I believe that the drugs/alcohol are a symptom of problems and issues that we need to deal with in our lives. So stopping using the drugs will be the first step on the journey for you.
I am sorry for what has happened with your father, but I hope you can use this experience as a catalyst to move forward in your life.
I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life. Stopping using drugs will be hard, but you can do it and we are here to offer you support. I believe that the drugs/alcohol are a symptom of problems and issues that we need to deal with in our lives. So stopping using the drugs will be the first step on the journey for you.
I am sorry for what has happened with your father, but I hope you can use this experience as a catalyst to move forward in your life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 78
Welcome to SR Nick. You will find a lot of great support here. Sorry to hear about your family situation, but I think it is great that your father has been both alcohol and nicotine free for a week now. That coupled along with your own personal revelation to stop using drugs seems to indicate that things are begining to head in the right direction.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to a great family! :ghug3 I am happy for you for having decided to make things better at such a young age. I haven't seen 19 in many years but I certainly wasn't so introspective or ambitious at that age, and wasn't too worried about consequences from anything. I wish I'd been smarter younger.
Glad you joined the family.
Glad you joined the family.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Your insight @ 19 to the possibilities is very encouraging..........I waited until I was in my forties!
You have most of your life ahead of you.
You are standing at the turning point.
Take the fork in the road & never look back.
You have most of your life ahead of you.
You are standing at the turning point.
Take the fork in the road & never look back.
Student Seeking Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 9
To all that have responded, your encouragement makes me stronger then I could have previously imagined. I was a little weary about joining a sober forum, but in a few short days I've begun to realize just how helpful others' support can be. It's like every time I get on here I get that little jolt that says "I can do this, I can really do this". Thanks again everybody. Day 3 baby!
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