New and Introducing Myself

Old 11-29-2009, 08:51 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 5
New and Introducing Myself

Hi. I'm new here and thought I'd introduce myself. I've wanted to quit drinking for 10 years now, but have never been able to follow through completely.

I'm a binge drinker. When I drink, it's like a flip gets switched in my brain and I cannot seem to physically stop. I lose all control and I drink until I black out. I've tried every trick in the book to moderate and remain in control (only drinking beer, having a glass of water between each drink, not starting drinking until after midnight so I hopefully don't have enough time to get plastered before the bar closes). It NEVER works. I always end up waking up the next morning with crippling guilt and no recollection of what I did or how I even got home.

On the other hand, I have a great job and am a hard worker who people look up to. I tend not to drink at home (my dad is a recovering alcoholic, so there was never alcohol in my house growing up. I guess because of that, I've never really kept alcohol in my own apartment) and can go a few days at a time without a real need for alcohol. This has always gotten me into trouble. It's been the easiest way for me to convince myself that I don't have a problem. In a way, it feels like I can "take it or leave it." But that's not really true. Because after a few days, all I can think about is going out and drinking to blow off some steam, feel more confident, reduce stress, etc. And each time I'm reminded just how out of control I really am. From the first swallow, it's like I'm not even me anymore.

So, I've decided (hopefully for good this time) that it would be so much easier in the long run to never take that first sip rather than fight as hard as I do to stay in control...and continue to fail. I haven't had a drink in several weeks and I'm feeling pretty good, except for one problem... I really feel like I'm on my own here. I don't know one single person in my age group who doesn't REALLY ENJOY drinking. I've been trying to stay away from bars for now, so I spend a lot of time alone. If anyone has any good ideas of how to meet people like me or new ways to spend my time without alcohol, I'd love to hear them.

Thanks and I'm looking forward to exploring this site more and getting to know you all better!
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Old 11-29-2009, 08:59 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 210,673
Hi adgirl

well you've just 'met' several thousand new people LOL

I guess the obvious thing is to suggest you check out a face to face recovery group like AA, or SMART or LifeRing...I'm pretty sure NYC would have lots more groups too, perhaps even some thirtysomething oriented groups.

I'm not in the US nor especially young so my suggestions will be a little generic - but hopefully others will be along shortly

Welcome to SR

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Old 11-29-2009, 09:06 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: boulder, co
Posts: 75
Hi and welcome-I am 31 and do NOT enjoy drinking...I have been trying to quit for the last year and have 15 days sober right now...I was a weekend binge drinker after daily drinking for a while-has gone on and off like that for years and years...go to AA and there are people much younger there-I met a 19 year old there who had 6 years there definitely are others like us! The gym is a good place to meet people-in my town we have something called phoenix multisport which is a group of recovering alcoholics/addicts who get together to socialize and do things like hiking, cycling etc...I was a total bar/club girl so I know it can be hard, but if you look chances are you will find things to do and people-I just never really looked until recently!
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Old 11-29-2009, 09:09 PM
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Om, Aum, Ohm...
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
You don't say how old you are, but I know sober alcoholics as young as seventeen. Pop into a few different AA meetings. I'm sure you'll see you're not alone.

Peace & Love,
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Old 11-29-2009, 09:10 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
When I decided to give up alcohol.....I lived in D.C.
I found an AA group that was mostly singles close to my age.

It met daily. I could attend before work
On weekends.....we did the meeting then did all sorts of
sober social activities We had a blast!

I thought of it as "AA dating" cause there was
no pairing off and we paid our own way....

Welcome to our recovery community....
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:36 PM
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
I don't know one single person in my age group who doesn't REALLY ENJOY drinking.

Find new "friends" I spend a lot of time alone

Find new interests/hobbies/exercise!
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:52 PM
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The New Me starting 1/11/09
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Welcome AdGirl -

We all understand and we've been there.

I can't moderate, so I don't drink.

And, now after some decent time in sobriety, it is much easier not to drink. I have to work at it, but my recovery is enjoyable.

My recommendation is to find a program of recovery in addition to SR. AA worked for me, but there are many others as well.

Welcome. Keep coming back.
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Old 11-30-2009, 12:31 AM
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Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Welcome to SR

I am another who cannot moderate.

There are people of every age group in AA... I haven't even been going that long and I can say that much.

Take care of yourself,
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Old 11-30-2009, 07:54 PM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 5
Thanks for all of your comments/suggestions. I guess I'm just gonna have to try a bit harder to find new people to hang out with and new things to do. As I said, I'm in my early 30s and honestly don't know anyone who doesn't drink. I have been to one meeting so far and no one was even close to my age. I was the youngest person there by far. Everyone was really great and it was a positive experience, but maybe I'll check out a different night and possibly some other groups, like volunteering, etc.

Glad to know I have the support of those on this site as well! Thanks again!
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Old 12-01-2009, 12:08 AM
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1_day@_a_time's Avatar
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
I have been to one meeting so far and no one was even close to my age.

There are probably dozens of meetings to choose from. And plenty I've been to I didn't care for......and those that I connect with right away.

You are worth it, seek them out.
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Old 12-01-2009, 12:25 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Hi adgirl, welcome to SR!!! Hope you'll stick around and keep reading. This site is great for support and there are tons of us that have been there or are going through what you are going through today. Best to you on your journey.
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