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New to Sobriety

Old 11-25-2009, 01:57 PM
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New to Sobriety

Hi,
I'm extremely new to all this, so please bear with me. Long story short: I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years of perfection because something was "off". I felt I needed to be alone and figure myself out. School wasn't going well, and I was in a constant state of disorganization, forgetfulness, and procrastination. I was constantly broke, tired, and anxious. Most of my professors were getting more and more annoyed at my inability to take care of even the smallest bits of business.

Once I was alone, free to take care of myself, and figure out what was wrong and how to fix it, I noticed right away that nothing was going well at all! That's when my now-ex-girlfriend approached my alcohol abuse, and refused to let me get away with it any longer. I denied it, of course, until talking with my parents. They helped me to realize that I am alcohol dependent, and every problem in my life, internal and external, could be attributed to my drinking habits.

So I called my best friend (who's a very passionate advocate of not letting your vices rule your life, and hates my drinking/smoking) and asked if he'd like to join me on a minimum of 7 days sober. He agreed, and now I'm on day 4. A week is only the start, I really want to prove to myself and everyone in my life that I can make it a month, 6 weeks, or however long it takes to become comfortable with my self-control again.

Last night was the first 3-day period I've gone without being drunk in about 2 years, and I feel great. Life is already getting back on track. However, I get the "itch" every once in a while. Which is why I'm here. I was referred to by a friend of mine, and would greatly appreciate any advice or help offered. I plan on going to AA meetings starting next week after I return home from Thanksgiving Break.

I'm curious about a few specific questions, like: When do you think I will be able to drink comfortably again? Should I EVER think about drinking comfortably again, or should I just stay sober from now on? I noticed a few posts of people "counting" days in between their next drink, or "planning" on drinking only Saturdays, which is the level I was hoping to get to, but that may not be healthy. What can I do about the "itch"? Should I test out whether or not I'm comfortable to go in to a bar with friends and order soda, or would the temptation hinder my progress?

I truly appreciate being a part of a community that knows what I'm going through. I thought I could do this on my own, partly for vanity's sake, but I've realized that's not true. Thanks...
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Old 11-25-2009, 02:17 PM
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Welcome Calypso. You're asking all the right questions and many will be along to respond. I am pretty new to sobriety myself so I will say just say hello and encourage you to pick up the Big Book when you go to that AA meeting, it addresses the questions you're asking. Amazing what just a few days sober can do for your thinking, isn't it? Good luck to you.
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Old 11-25-2009, 02:26 PM
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Hi Calypso

I had similar questions when I got here. I found noone else can really answer them for you but we'll give you a lot of support here to help you make up your mind.

Welcome. Please read around a bit and post as much as you like.

D
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Old 11-25-2009, 02:31 PM
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When do you think I will be able to drink comfortably again?
Depends if you are an alcoholic or not. Going to meetings and listening and reading with help YOU decide that.

Should I EVER think about drinking comfortably again, or should I just stay sober from now on?
One day at a time my friend. Just worry about what you will do today. The rest will work itself out.

I noticed a few posts of people "counting" days in between their next drink, or "planning" on drinking only Saturdays, which is the level I was hoping to get to, but that may not be healthy. What can I do about the "itch"?
When I get the "itch" I find talking to a friend, breathing, meditating, excersing and sleeping helps.

Should I test out whether or not I'm comfortable to go in to a bar with friends and order soda, or would the temptation hinder my progress?
Do you have a legitimate reason to go to the bar? You can test the water all you want but sometimes it can be hot.
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Old 11-25-2009, 02:36 PM
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Hi Calypso:

Welcome to SR

As Dee said... no one can really answer them questions for you... for me though i could not go into drinking places that early into my sobriety... and i only go in now for work meetings... the tempation i think would be too much for me..

As for them times when you get the "Itch" and are not ure what to do or need distractions... there is a thread at the top of the new comers section in the stickies bit called looking for something to do?

Ive tried to copy it here but not sure it will work... im not technically minded...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

Good luck with your search for answers though... and keep talking and reading
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