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thiskidknows 11-24-2009 01:54 PM

I don't know..
 
I don't know where to post this, so please feel free to move it. I didn't have a drink since about 6ish sunday morning, I've nott used since around that time either (only know time cause a friend send text when they left at 6ish). About 9ish Sunday morning I started being sick, it carried on until last night, I couldn't even drink water without being sick. I didn't sleep last night, nightmares where bad, and the "noises" in my head where bad. 2day, I've got a runny nose, bad chest, stomach is hurting and keep getting shooting pains, my limbs hurt, knees, even fingers, my head fills heavy, i keep getting sweats and then shivers...I went shop, somehow got there, got chocolate (jar of), bottle of vodka and fat coke...i've had one large vodka and then after drinking it, poured another with some fat coke this time.....I was told not to stop drinking, but to cut down, I didn't understand why, and now trying to work out if this is the reason or if its just "me being ill"...I've not used smack since sunday, but now thinkiing I need to get some cause I know I need sleep and haven't slept properly in over a week and heroin makes me very chilled, at peace and sometimes helps me relax enough to sleep..... I can't speak to my drug worker as she's not around (wouldn't be even if she were at work cause its night)....I'm in so much pain, I just want it to stop. I can't do the have one drink and stop, or even two...I can't not use, without using more and more..it has to be all or nothing with me..maybe others as well...but they told me not and now i think my body is reacting to not using, or drinking...and I don't actually know what to do....I want to get clean, but I don't know how to deal with all this and when everything gets to intense. sorry.

smacked 11-24-2009 02:01 PM

Have you considered inpatient treatment?

Anna 11-24-2009 02:07 PM

Personally I agree that stopping drinking has to be all or nothing.

It is REALLY hard for an alcoholic to cut down. I tried it a thousand times and it never worked for long.

Talk to your dr about your physical symptoms and get his advice about detoxing as it can be very dangerous.

thiskidknows 11-24-2009 02:08 PM

its not been mentioned to me, i've even tried hospital cause i have mental health issues..but they said cause "i wasn't too severe" i could be helped from home. I was sectioned under the 136 the other week when i was so dosed up on drink and drugs, and the week before cause of an OD...9 times this year i've been admitted to hospital for several hours cause of either an od, drink or drugs...but still i'm not to severe cause when i "come round after a void"..i'm calm.

box3 11-24-2009 02:08 PM

I'm glad you posted. I don't know enough about your substance/alcohol history to say conclusively what's going on, but you may be in multiple withdrawal.

Please go to the ER. Detox from alcohol is dangerous and heroin will only compound the problem. I agree with Smacked that inpatient treatment might be a good idea. Push for it, advocate for what you need.

Sending you lots of strength and support.

thiskidknows 11-24-2009 02:14 PM

when i spoke to my doctor, he said until I cut down and prove to them that i do want help, they won't help me...my dip worker told me to see my doc and that's why i went and that was the response i got...I get the "you have to want it to get it", but I also know that "i cant cut down, as my "impulse" kicks in and is stronger then "my will power alone"....

smacked 11-24-2009 02:20 PM

Well, I guess that is true.. you wont quit until you want to.. or until your body decides it quits for you.

thiskidknows 11-24-2009 02:32 PM

I agree completely. I want to stop, and my body I think is now telling me too..just when it gets to the stage where u know that just one drink will stop....u have that one drink, and then second, and then ur wasted....or u use, I tried the cutting down from £40, to £20 to £10 on smack...and I wasn't getting the same hit..so I injected £10..then was told that from my DIP worker (its no point lying, as they drug test u, and ur only lying to urself also) that injecting has more risks...I try to find ways to cut down like they said its just not working, i've already done half a bottle of vodka...and only brought it an hour ago... I want to stop cause it is messing up this life..u have one life, it only takes me to mess up once with the heroin and/or drink and that life has gone...I know that only too well...just don't know how u deal with this. sounds so pathetic..expert in getting smashed, but no idea how to get clean.

Anna 11-24-2009 02:48 PM

Get rid of the vodka first of all. That`s a great place to start.

Get rid of any other alcohol you have in the house.

Just breathe deeply, sit down and take a look around here. You`ll find lots of inspiration.

box3 11-24-2009 02:48 PM

I suggest you try a second opinion from another doctor, you're deep in active addiction and 'cutting down' (moderating) may not be a realistic option for you.

Please talk to a medical professional about inpatient treatment, talk to as many as possible until you get the help that you need. Be honest with them and don't give up.

Dee74 11-24-2009 03:02 PM

I think right now, based on what you've said, you may be in multiple withdrawal as Box said.

This can be very dangerous. I would see your Dr ASAP or just goes to a casualty dept J.
I also agree about getting a second opinion.

I hope someone who knows more about the UK situation will post.

D

thiskidknows 11-24-2009 03:03 PM

I actually scared of throwin the rest of the vodka away. I don't have any other in my house, as I try not to have any in house...i just on impulse go out, buy it come back drink it, then drive to garage and get more..its almost like i'm "programmed" this way...I will ask for second op..my dip worker is comin wiv me to my next CPN meeting (wk friday)...as she's seen first hand that they dont listen to me and has said she will stand up and back me up...I know only to well the route i'm on has one ending......I wrote a letter at beginnin of yr, that 2009 would be my last...and i've just over a month...I don't want that..i want to know what life is like when ur "free"...I want to feel what it "feels" like to look thru clear glasses not tinted ones...I do want that...I've asked my younger sister to move in with me to help me, which i hate...she's younger then me I should look out for her, but I need help and I'm just not getting listened to by the pros that could help if they spend just a few hours listening...


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