watsonc

I seem to be struggling with sobriety and quasi-depression - day 36; I had this fabulous, on-top-the-world almost *high* feeling for 3 weeks post quitting, and now I'm just blah. "Muted" my husband says. Lacking joie de vivre. Boredem is a piece of it certainly. I work 4 days and have 3-day weekends. Its drab outside, hunting season just opened so the woods or road are off limits for walking. Will I always feel this negated?

tanyapmc

For me the first 6 months were a roller coaster. I was either extremely happy or extremely sad. There was NO balance. All I can tell you is that it does get better as long as you don't drink. It actually takes 2 years for alcohol to get out of the brain stem.

You will not always feel this way. Feelings and moods change. For me I quit having the high highs and low lows. Now I am usually pretty even keel. Do you have any hobbies? Friends you could meet for coffee? Do you attend AA? I know boredom was a huge trigger for me in the beginning. The busier I am the happier I am.

Please keep talking about it. We DO understand.

Hevyn

No, you won't. I felt that way too in the early days. I thought of it as the "Nothing to look forward to" syndrome. or "Is that all there is?". For my whole life, I relied on alcohol for fun, relaxation, and a getaway from life. Why it was necessary to numb myself, I still don't understand. I missed the anticipation of going out drinking and forgetting my troubles. I chased that feeling of euphoria for so many years that it was really hard to give up on it.

Once I admitted it was never fun anymore - only dangerous and life-threatening - I started to look elsewhere for fulfillment and happiness. I was bored too, because I had to learn to live in a different way. Everything seemed strange and I felt like an alien. That's all different, now. I promise it will get better as you continue on your journey. Don't be discouraged - you're doing great.

Dee74

Hi watsonc

it's not uncommon for what AAers call the 'pink cloud' of early recovery to wear off and leave us a little flat. The change of season doesn't help either.

You may even be experiencing PAWs
Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma

All these things are normal - for me, it was the 'boredom' that used to get me 9 times out of 10 and draw me back to my old life.

Eventually I worked out that it was down to me to make my life as good as I wanted it to be

If you have a programme, watsonc, nows the time to work it
if you don't, think about what else you can do to make yourself happy and your life a good one.

D

watsonc

No,not working a programme. AA isn't really available where I live and on my schedule so I use this website. I think I'm probably the planet's *least* "spiritual" person - in fact, I think I'm mostly mystified when people say they're "not really religious but am spiritual". ? I am absent that gene or the experience to know what anything spiritual is. Not to make a pity party of anything, but I have an alcoholic husband (we're muddling though my sobriety!), no children, no family within 1000 miles, live in a rural spot, do a 75 mile commute to work - so, its pretty tough sometimes to come up with the motivation *not* to drink. So far, its been about my self-esteem and long-term health. I wonder how long those two issues will keep me motivated and sober. Not deep enough perhaps. Agh, too much introspection. Will put more wood in the fire. Thanks for the supportive words though, they always help!

watsonc

Dee74, thanks for the link on PAWS - I've read it quicklyand will digest it more shortly. The section on spirituality at least gave me some direction - though I don't imagine I can magic up some sense of higher power by snapping my fingers. Thx much.

Dee74

I'm sure others will be along with more suggestions, c but it's not about joining a nunnery LOL

it's about trying to make our lives and ourselves as good as we can...I think 'filling the hole' is the key for many of us.

A little exercise and some me time - maybe just as simple as reconnecting with an old hobby or something - is a good start.

D

Lenina

watsonC,

I'm sorry you're struggling. In early sobriety I had the same ups and downs. They seemed pretty extreme to me at the time. Just don't drink or use!

Something that helps me a lot is to write out a gratitude list. In the beginning, I had a hard time coming up with gratitude! As you write these out, try to keep them on the positive side, like "I"m grateful to have a job" instead of "At least I'm not unemployed."

Hang in there and post as often as you need to! There's lots of support here and lots of good advice. As you read the posts of others, you'll not feel so alone.

Love,

Lenina

Gypsy Feet

You can also check out the chat room here when you are bored. There are usually people there, and sometimes they are even talking good recovery

Anna

Hi,

Congratulations on your sobriety.

I never experienced the 'pink cloud' thing, so didn't have to worry about it fading.

I was depressed long before the drinking started and I had to get that treated before I could stop drinking. It's possible that time will take care of your mood, but if not, you might think about talking to your dr about what's going on.