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-   -   Grateful_Alcoholic? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/188945-grateful_alcoholic.html)

Kjell 11-20-2009 06:51 AM

Grateful_Alcoholic?
 
I've heard the term "grateful alcoholic" a lot lately and I was curious as to why someone would we grateful they are an alcoholic?

I've finally, honestly, and thoroughly accepted I'm an alcoholic, but I do not feel grateful. Nor do I understand why I would feel grateful in the future? I do feel a sense of relief, but I'm not grateful for all the chaos and hurt I've caused.

Is this another part of acceptance? Is this something I can expect to feel after I've been sober for a while? After I've put some time between the consequences and more time in recovery?

Thanks,
Kjell

Anna 11-20-2009 06:54 AM

Hi Kjell,

I didn't feel like a grateful alcoholic in the beginning either.

But, with time and some perspective I do feel that way. I am grateful for the enlightenment that recovery has brought to me. I am grateful to have reconnected to my spiritual self. I am grateful to have learned about 'me' for the first time of my life and believing in my self-worth. And, I am eternally grateful for the amazing friends I have met at SR. I am grateful for the peace that recovery has brought to my life.

yeahgr8 11-20-2009 06:56 AM

I think you mean grateful recovering/recovered alcoholic?

jazzz 11-20-2009 07:13 AM

I think it comes from being grateful to have figured out what was wrong, getting help and discovering a whole new life that's maybe even better then it was before the drinking ever started.
It's a bit like having cancer (not that I know how that feels like) and getting well. You see life through whole new lences and that can make you feel grateful, in a sense.

If you can get rid of the idea of ever wanting to drink normally again, get rid of any jealousy and resentment towards normal drinkers, then I think you can feel an enormous sense of gratefulness for having been shown that fact and been getting a whole new way of life that works for you :)

Not every recovering alcoholic is grateful, I can't say I am, yet. Not grateful to be an alcoholic, but I do feel grateful that I've figured out what my problem is and doing something about it. I feel sorry for my friends who are still drinking and maybe they'll never stop. They'll just go on and on and on until it's too late for them.

I must admit to being jealous at them, as well. I'm still only 3 months sober, so I still have ideas about getting drunk again. I won't cos I know it's the disease talking. But I can be jealous at their drinking for not having the same consequenses as it did for me. "Why can they drink so much and still have so much fun??". In the end, I think it's just the alcoholic in me trying to convince me to go back out and try again. I really don't think they're having as much fun as I think. Hahah...kinda sets myself in perspective. I'm ****** up, but I feel well on my way to recovery and for that I'm grateful :)

Zencat 11-20-2009 07:37 AM

I may not feel :( grateful that my life as an alcoholic/addict was in deplorable shambles and caused a lot of problems for those that were around me. I am grateful :D that there is treatment for my condition. Not only is there treatment for my condition, but there is enough variety that a secular person like myself can recover from a seemly hopeless state and live a pleasant life.

bananagrrrl 11-20-2009 07:49 AM

All I can say is I am not there yet.

I am interested to read the responses though.

firestorm090 11-20-2009 07:57 AM

Grateful?

No, not really.

Sikkisirus 11-20-2009 07:59 AM

Ive not heard this but like Bananagrrrl I am interested to read what everyone else thinks :) Thanks for sharing, its things like this which makes us stop and think :)

shaun00 11-20-2009 08:00 AM

I'm grateful that when.. not having sufficient force or willpower to stop drinking a power beyond my comprehension entered my life and did/does it for me..

and that 100 people got together to suggest a way to bring about that power.

Mark75 11-20-2009 08:03 AM

what trucker said.

Saphie 11-20-2009 09:05 AM

If I wasn't an alcoholic I would have never experienced the support and friendship of total strangers as I did on SR. I would not have experienced the clear sensation of living instead of just doing it. For that I am truly grateful.

NEOMARXIST 11-20-2009 10:02 AM

I think you need to be able to view yourself as a grateful alcoholic or ealse you stand a very real chance of relapsing due to becoming resentfull at others and actually your alcoholism. Unless you manage to get your head around gratefully accepting that you are an alcoholic and that for you drinking is not an option then resentment and jealousy will come into play and further down the line you may drink again.

Dee74 11-20-2009 01:47 PM

I never thought I'd feel grateful either...if you had a day or two, you could probably still find a old post or two of mine where I really ripped this idea a new one.

Well...I was wrong.

I am grateful - not for the pain or the sadness, or the damage I did or the time I wasted...but I *am* grateful for all that contributing to making me into who I am now... and for bringing me here today, and every day since 2007.

I'm also grateful for the many other wonderful things I have in my life now.

So yeah, I guess I get it now.

D

endzoner 11-20-2009 02:04 PM

When I was new to recovery hearing the " greaful recovering alki " really confussed me as well , but then as time passed and I gained more recovery time and all else that follows I see it as this .. Life sucked the way it was no doubt ... but getting sober not only allowed me to become a better person in all aspects of my life . Its a life I never thought I'd have .. didnt think drinkin or not drinkin would change anything in my life , But oooh how wrong I was .. so today Im greatful for recovery Im greatful for each day I wake up and Im able to say Im not drinkin today Im a greaful recovering Alki ..
~ Endzy ~

tigers13 11-20-2009 02:18 PM

I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. After trying myself, I'm thankful God stepped in and helped me. Because of it, I know who I am versus who I was and I know I never want to go back to being that person. I'm grateful that I'm still living...that for 6 years, my kids, and now my grandkids, have a sober mom/grandma. Now I can be who I want to be, and I can be there completely for others.

TTOSBT 11-20-2009 02:41 PM

I remember being six days sober, in a women's meeting and a woman took her 9 month token and said she was a grateful alcoholic. I remember being slightly annoyed and skeptical of this claim.

Today I am grateful. I have completely accepted that I am an alcoholic and that alcohol and I do not mix well. We NEVER will again. So today I am grateful for that freedom. I am grateful for the spiritual connection I have today. I am grateful for the sober friends and fellowship I have found in recovery. I am very grateful for the life I have today. Grateful to be an alcoholic? Eh..grateful for the self awareness that has come as a result of my alcoholism. Definitely.

littlefish 11-20-2009 08:28 PM

I thought about this thread today after my meeting.
I can find one reason to say I am a grateful recovered alcoholic and that is that without starting this whole process of recovery, I would not have learned about who I am.

I have been fairly confused, rather delusional and dishonest with myself and others for quite a long time. All my life. I would have continued being that way, not learning how to change, if I had not decided to begin this journey.

barb dwyer 11-20-2009 08:37 PM

Man it's sappy as all get out but
I woke up after a botched suicide.

I've been grateful from the time I came to.

I know that for us
the sky is a little bluer
love is far sweeter
colors are brighter in the alcoholic's eye
and our pain is far deeper.

For that I'm grateful as well.

When we embrace that part
of ourselves
we spent so much livingness hiding
or hiding from....

we're grateful for every breath
every problem
every failure.

After all -
a failure is nothing more
than the opportunity
to try again.

I almost threw that chance away.
I am not self important enough to think I've been selected for anything
(suprisingly enoguh- HA!)
But I know without doubt
that I've been spared.

We have been given a great opportunity
to start anew
but more ... I dunno ... SACRED than that -
we also are given the chance
to fix what we destroyed.
I can FIX it - make it right!

That's unspeakably humbling.
Especially when so many of us don't make it.

Through the Program of AA
and a repaired connection with the Infinite ...

I am a very grateful alcoholic.
I am very grateful.

Lenina 11-20-2009 08:41 PM

Some great posts here, thanks for asking the question.

The first time I heard "grateful alcoholic" it was in a meeting early in my sobriety. I thought the guy must be nuts. But I couldn't get the phrase out of my head.

Now, I realize what he meant. I am a much better person now than I could have been had I not had the support, the love and the imparted wisdom I've gotten in recovery. I am far less judgmental, far more compassionate than I would have been. The generosity I've been shown has made me a more generous person.

I am not happy about the pain and suffering I imposed on the friends and family I have. I am very grateful they love me still.

Love,

Lenina

Ago 11-20-2009 08:42 PM

once we admit we are an alcoholic, we have admitted the problem, once we have admitted the problem, we can work on a solution, once the solution works our lives get changed beyond recognition, we feel comfortable in our skin for the first time in our lives, we fix our insides, and our outsides fix themselves, until one day we realize we are having those emotions known as peace, contentment, happiness, and serenity, emotions we used to seek in the bottle, and we would have never learned how to access those emotions without first admitting we were an alcoholic, thus we are grateful to be alcoholics, or just grateful alcoholics, because our "problem" turns out to be a gift.

the burr under the saddle without which we would have never discovered a new way of life.

I find most normal people tedious, boring and frankly unevolved, because so many of them never had to work on themselves I find it nearly impossible to hold an in depth conversation with one.

Alcoholics are cool, anyone in history who was ever worth a sh1t was alcoholic, so why not be grateful? I'm not only grateful to be an alcoholic, I'm proud to be an alcoholic, I've said those words so many millions of times it's hard wired into who I am. I have to be careful when I introduce myself in professional settings to not say "and I'm an alcoholic"


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