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another_DUI_another_carwreck-update

Old 11-19-2009, 10:28 AM
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i've done my almost
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another_DUI_another_carwreck-update

Hello-

I just wanted to share my recovery plan and where I'm at with it.

Just to recap - a few weeks ago (after being sober for 6 weeks) I got another dui (2 total) and totaled another car (2 total).

I started a 21 week IOP on Monday and tonight is my 2nd night.

I also decided to talk to my sponsor and express my feelings that I need someone who is going to be "really on top of me" and more structured. He actually agreed with me and he recommended a new sponsor. I've since hooked up with him and he immediately took me to a meeting.

He is like a drill sergeant and shocked me at first, but he's exactly what I need. Among other things he's got me doing, I'm doing the 90 in 90 and without a car, I was really worried I'd be able to comply. ...but I reached out to more than a few men and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them gave me their numbers and said they'd help me get to meetings. My "old" sponsor also said he'd help me and that he'd still like me to call him from time to time.

Between AA and SR, it's really amazing and sometimes overwhelming the support I've received, especially since I was feeling hopeless, scared, and really just very, very low. I'm not trying to look too far ahead, but I'm looking forward to getting well and then giving back what was freely given to me.

I know when judgment day (court date) comes, it's not going to be pleasant, and I also know I deserve whatever punishment they give as I put society at great risk by driving, but I feel ok about things. It's strange, but maybe I've finally found acceptance on who I am and who I've become. I guess I'm just trying to focus on what's ahead and what I can become.

Thanks,
Kjell
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Old 11-19-2009, 10:34 AM
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Ago
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I'm confused

How did you get a DUI with 6 weeks sobriety? I usually only get DUI's when I'm drunk.

Good luck, and welcome back, I have some experience with totaling cars and getting DUI's, actually even after having had long term sobriety

suxdontit

I found it helpful when I appeared in court to have made my own "AA slip" so when I appeared after 30 days, I had 30 signatures, that way I only got the DUI which was rough enough, not charged with the crash
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Old 11-19-2009, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Ago View Post
I'm confused

How did you get a DUI with 6 weeks sobriety? I usually only get DUI's when I'm drunk.

Meaning I didn't drink for 6 weeks, then I did, and I drove, blacked out, totalled my car, and got another dui.


I found it helpful when I appeared in court to have made my own "AA slip" so when I appeared after 30 days, I had 30 signatures, that way I only got the DUI which was rough enough, not charged with the crash
Thanks for the advice and I've already begun doing just that.
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Old 11-19-2009, 10:58 AM
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Kjell, you're in an uncomfortable spot but it's reassuring to hear you accept responsibility.

I am fortunate to have never received a DUI. But oh brothers and sisters, have I driven drunk! Most often it was after going through the insidiously stupid reasoning of, "Well, of all my drunk friends, I'm, the least drunk, so I'm going to assume the risks and get everyone home safely." Brilliant! I was never caught but I am certain that this is due to the math/odds being on my side more than any expertise I may have demonstrated while trying to stay in my own lane.

Oddly, my insistence to drive was always prefaced by, "I hate drunk drivers, so I'm doing my part by keeping this one off the road." If there is one mitigating factor here, it's that I always felt the most sober...the truth is more along the lines that my tolerance was some sort of legend and that I simply had slightly better coordination than my buddies or date, all of whom were in various stages of falling on their butts.

It's amazing how much risk I posed, all the while being convinced that I was doing the responsible thing! I swear, there a few instant-stupid elixirs like alcohol. No matter how formally educated, otherwise even-keeled, responsible, or rational you may be...alcohol instantly robs you of those things. So while getting smashed and doing the same to your car (twice) might otherwise make me angry (and a hypocrite), I recognize that you're probably a decent person when your blood isn't pumping stupid juice through your body.

Good luck with the courts! I dated a girl who evaded jail after a THIRD DUI. However, for some reason it was charged as a second offense. I'm unsure what her lawyer did to fanangle that sort of treatment. At any rate, she did not escape the insane fines, a ton of community service, and subsequently ridiculous insurance rates. But she did evade jail. Apparently the threat was real enough as she has not had a DUI in five years and, as far as I know, has managed to be the rare alcoholic who can successfully moderate as opposed to quitting. Obviously, I cannot recommend that over total abstinence; just telling a story, here.

Best of luck to you!

To make matters even more perplexing, I'm a huge motorcycle fanatic. If my riding buddies ever found out that I have driven a vehicle drunk, I'd be disowned.
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:20 AM
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I should add that while I've never been charged, I have crashed. It was a motorcycle, about 15 years ago when I was even dumber than I am now (a feat in and of itself, lol).

I never spoke to the officers after the event, likely because I was unconscious in a trauma unit. But I KNOW I could have been charged. The nurses and doctors all visibly winced at my odor and I was lectured, as I deserved to be. There are two possibilities: The cops simply didn't feel like bothering, or they presumed that the very serious injuries combined with a totaled bike and a previously clean record may have been deterrent enough.

On discharge I instantly went shopping for another bike, apparently because I am insane. A scant few months later I was in a diner having a drunken grease pit of a meal at 4am or so. I noticed the adjacent table sneaking looks in my direction. Eventually, one of them asked, "Dude, didn't you just total a motorcycle on so-and-so street?

"Erm, yeah. Wow, that sucked. You were there?"

"Yeah, the sound of twisted metal woke us up. And yet here you are, drunk, with another bike parked out front? Are you $#@! retarded?"

I took this heart and was so humiliated that I never rode a bike drunk, again. Good thing, too. Like kids who perform mine-sweeping duty, drunk riding is an activity that carries an extremely short lifespan! So while I urge everyone not to drink and drive, I'd like to take this opportunity to especially stress it to you motorcyclists.
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:24 PM
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Speaking as one who has racked up 3 duis in 7 years-last one May 2006...I know exactly what happened when I went to court- my 2nd I recieved 90 days house arrest as my BAL was a .23 (yes I know). I live in CO and the penalties recently have become worse....My 3rd I receieved a 9 month jail sentence. As I mentioned to you I am restricted to interlock driving ( you have to pass a breath test before starting the engine and during driving) until the end of 2011. I think the interlock should be on all cars it would save everyone a lot of heartache. I have heard rumors if they can make this more cost effective they are considering eventually manufacturing cars with it in so at least no one else will suffer from our stupidity and bad judgement-and in my case almost a death wish my drinking and drugging at the time had led me to sink so low I feel sick thinking about it now. I wish you the best-go to AA and stay sober - you can't change the past but you CAN change your future
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Old 11-20-2009, 11:57 PM
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Between AA and SR, it's really amazing and sometimes overwhelming the support I've received, especially since I was feeling hopeless, scared, and really just very, very low. I'm not trying to look too far ahead, but I'm looking forward to getting well and then giving back what was freely given to me.

[/QUOTE]

Yes, it can be overwhelming to have people open their arms and hearts to us after the damage we sustain while drinking and drugging our lives into oblivion.

I'm glad you're here and staying on a recovery plan. I'm doing 90&90 as well, and am reading the book from front to back, one page at a time. it's a good feeling to be connected again, so hang in there, regardless of the court drama.
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