NEOMARXIST

Jazzz, that post warmed my heart man. Beautifully put, you can tell your a muso!! haha.


peace and love xxx

ps- yes, well into over 4 months sober now.

LiveLikeGold6

Not to cross-talk but wow Charmie thank you for your vivid and honest share, that helped me to stay sober again just for today

Back to Neo,

I read your saying that perhaps if you had a girlfriend to fill that void, etc. I started out similar to that, relying on my boyfriend to spend time with me and take my boredom away. My sponsor said that doing that is relying on "something human" to keep you sober and that that won"t work. Are you working the steps? I'm not sure if its been said already sorry if it has and I missed it. Finally there's a quote that I like passed on meetings, "there's a fineline between boredom and serenity" my serenity stems from those drama-free moments and I'm not mad at them lol. HTH

mmeat

Hey Neo.....trust me....a relationship with someone will not help things. I've been with my wife and mother of my children for 14 years now. Shes my best friend...shes sexy....shes great. I'm still drunk. I don't know why I do what I do.......but "she" has no bearing on it. Work on you dude...and keep up your sobriety!

exquisitered

Hi Neo

I really do understand what you are saying. I will have 11 months on the 20th and honestly I still have problems with being able to enjoy things, but it is a lot better than it was at first and I know if I just hang in there it will keep getting better. I'm 34 but I first went to AA at 21, but I went back out mostly for the same reasons you are talking about. I thought I had to drink in order to be happy or have fun, and I didn't have any friends who didn't drink because I didn't want to be around someone who didn't. To me not drinking was just boring and unimaginable. I really only went to get my family off my back tbh. Well, fast forward 13 yrs and you know what? My drinking got worse than I ever thought it would and my life was a complete wreck and I STILL had no idea what people did to have fun without alcohol, I STILL didn't have any friends who didn't drink, and I STILL missed the hell out of it when I quit. My point is, that I really don't think it will be easy for you to do at any age, (if it was you wouldn't be an alcoholic) but if you can just hang in there, it will slowly get better and you won't have to look back at 34 and wish you hadn't wasted the last 13 years. So to answer your question honestly. No I couldn't/wouldn't do it at 21, but Yes, I wish more than anything that I had.

No matter what your situation is, it will NEVER be easy. And it WILL be a whole lot worse the longer you wait.

Congrats on 4 months! I know it is very hard, but don't give up. You have your whole life ahead to figure out what you enjoy.

:ghug3

Ago

That I know personally?

hundreds

or younger

I got sober at 27

I come from San Francisco, and the drinking drug culture is as alive and well as it is in England

I met many young people in AA meetings in London when I went

ordinary "normal" people bore me to tears for the most part

firestorm090

I think a good question to accompany your question about how many people at 23 actually got sober would be to ask how many wish they would've? I know I'm one.

You've been given a great gift, to see what life is like with booze, and now the opportunity to learn what life is like without booze. Sure, at four months, it may seem like the whole world's partying and you're all alone, but that's what alcohol wants us to think. It what alcohol does to our heads, we get all turned around and see only those partying, not those taking care of the mess afterwards, or the er doctors who put us back together when we're all busted up, we see the bright lights, big city, and not the bum on skid roll, and we think we're missing the deal, the real good life. Booze is the ultimate liar, it convinces us we don't have a problem. If we admit we have a problem, then it wants us to believe we can still have a few now and then, and we'll be ok. That one thought alone has caused me to lose many years of my life to drinking, sure the laughs were there sometimes, but misery was always close by, just waiting till the booze wore off, then it came home to rest permanently. I wish I were at where you are at 23, but at 23, I was already in the grips of chronic alcoholism and didn't even know it. I thought I was being cool, hanging with the "in" crowd, but I was wrong. Now, at 50, I'm struggling with the same issues as you are at 23, and I wish I were 23, but I'm way past that and still have to learn the same things you now need to learn, and trust me, you are better off learning them now. I can give you multiple examples of what booze can really do, but you already know that. The next big hurdle is learning what a sober life can do, and learning how to overcome our fears to become the best person we can be today. I'm trying to learn these things at 50, the same as you are and it's a struggle, regardless of age. But at least today, I'm feeling better, have 15 days without a drink and 15 days without feeling like total dog cr*p, and that's ok today. Hang in there.

NEOMARXIST

Happy to be sober again today. Life is looking positive and I am grateful for my sobriety again.

I am in this for the long haul and I ain't gonna give in over by "thinking" myself into drinking by thinking about what others are doing and what I ain't doing. Those other people aint like me, there lives aint gonna be consumed by alcohol and drugs when they choose to drink. They can take it or leave it, I know that i can't do that.

I have been sober for over 4 months now for a reason and that is because I couldn't take the drink and drugs anymore. I do not want to feel like I was feeling when the booze/drugs were coming down and I don't want to wreck everything in my life for the sake of a fleeting feeling of contentment that booze will give. I know that I am never satisfied and that it just turns nasty and ugly and always ends in tears and sorrow.

I am sticking with it and have faith that things will turn out as long as i stay sober. SR remains invaluable to me and my recovery from alcoholism and I figure that in typing out my thoughts and feelings when I am struggling will help me to build up strength for the next struggle. I know that my "triggers" are Friday/saturday nights and when I start letting my thinking start projecting to what other people are doing with their lives instead of what goal has to be.

One day at a time truly is a powerfull weapon I have against that first drink as when things/thoughts start getting too intense then as long as I go to bed sober then I ain't gonna be drinking and things always turn out for the best. I never regret not drinking.

Thanks for being there for me. xx

Ago

Have you tried googling young people in AA?

around here they have MCYPAA, SACYPAA, EBYPAA, etc, the YPAA standing for Young people in AA, they range in age from late teens to early thirties for the most part, I even go to young peoples meetings on occasion as they have pow'ful meetings and I am like a respected elder that got sober with the young peoples 20 years ago

They are CRAZY fun, not fruitbat suburb normies nor is it like say a church group, they are all ballz to the wall alchies

NEOMARXIST

Just had a quick google and found the YPAA website with all the meetings on. It appears there are only 3 YPAA meetings in the whole of England. That doesn't really surprise me though TBH. Some of the regular meetings I have been to have had 6-7 people with only 1 or 2 regulars so it wouldn't really be feasible to host them. I was amazed at how many young peoples meeting there are listed for CA and other parts of America. Obviously more people in America maybe willing to admit they are alcoholic and actually wish to change. I believe the statistic in UK is that 1.3 children are living in a household in which one or more of their parents/carers are alcoholic/problem drinker.

Many people in England ain't ready to face up to their drinking at my age (let alone any age) as it would mean too much upheaval and change to their lives in which drinking in England features in most and is engrained within the social fabric of life on so many levels.

I am not detered though because regardless of what anyone else is doing I came to the end of the line with drinking and I am an alcoholic for whom to drink is simply not an option. I made that choice and I shall stick to it. I am grateful that i made that choice as well.


Peace

Ago

Let me know if you want to me some YPAA's online on Facebook, perhaps you can go to them for issues in sobriety with young people that actually have experience, I know how important that is to me to talk to people that say "this is what I did" rather then "this is what you should do"

I am sorry, I didn't realize how blessed I was with my fellowship until I moved frankly, my fellowship was HUGE, we had social lives with each other, dated each other, we all grew up together, early on I would read stuff here on SR and belike, what is WRONG with you people????

Then I moved and saw what some other fellowships looked like, and was like...oh...yeah....yeah..I wouldn't date or socialize in this fellowship either.

My friends are/were interesting, and had interesting lives, from purple mohawk crazy street people that went on to get PHD's, to professional athletes, to famous actors and singers, to movie producers, i thought ALL fellowships were full of such great and wonderfully interesting people...until I moved.

I don't have much in common with people that lived under a freeway except alcoholism.

stone

Hi Neo, I am sure you have read/seen "Trainspotting"? the film kinda glamourises drug-taking and drinking, I can't remember if it had the scene at the end that I remember from the book (it might have done), the hero is at a railway bridge and starts talking to a tramp/homeless person and the tramp mentions how drugs/alcohol is just as boring as trainspotting....and it is.

At first we do it cos we like it, then we do it cos it is what we know, then we do it cos we are addicted or so messed up we know nothing else.

We do have a binge drinking culture in this country but it is very immature, 90% of the people doing it grow out of it I reckon.

You will meet people who can do it, who childishly glamourise it etc. but they CAN do it, it doesn't ruin their lives.

To them it is a way of being a bit rebellious and wild, to us it is a full-time thing that leads no-where and is essentially...just boring.

MDB79

Neo, you were on my mind all day long. I still can't believe how you have the guts to admit your problem and actually stay sober for 4 months at such young age. I also thought about a point you bring up: Do we really mean that we wished we could have stopped at 23? IMO, nobody here can answer that question to your satisfaction because there is no definitive answer but just mere guessing and Monday morning quaterbacking. All I can say is that when I was 23 I was so freaking crazy I wouldn't have thought about leaving home without an arsenal of drugs by my side. The though of recovery was not even an option I ever considered. Not because I didn't accept to myself that I was an addict and had a serious problem at that time. But because I was ashamed and scared to death to even discuss my drug habits with someone sober that could suggest me to go into recovery. Nobody was going to ruin the party for me!

However, that is not your case period. You are much wiser than I ever was at 23 and have a weapon I didn't have at that time: A place where I could talk my addiction with people from all over the world who chose to be sober at all costs. Perhaps things would have been different had I gone online during one of my many cocaine crashes and stumbled across this site? I would never know the answer to that question but you can. God has given you what every SR member wish they had at your age: Sobriety and this site. Use it to your advantage!

As to the comment you recently stating that perhaps a GF would have saved you from this mess by filling the emptiness you feel. I am sorry to tell you that it wouldn't have made a difference. What would you have done if this person left you? You guessed it! Drink yourself to death!!!! Recovery is a selfish process and only YOU can be the true source of your recovery. In fact, I suggest you stay single until you get a grasp of your feelings. You have to learn to love yourself before even considering loving someone else.

If you are not going to AA start going today! Keep fighting for your life! That's what's at stake here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take care brother!

aqua4017

I got sober at 23! I quit drinking September 22,, turned 24 in October, and am still going strong. It's really difficult since drinking is still new to most people our age and everyone wants to go out and drink. It's definitely hard, but I'm right here with you.

tsukiko

I'm 21. Most my mates (the ones who made it to 21) celebrated their 21st with champagne and cocaine, speed, mdma, my ex celebrated his with heroin, crack and shrooms...I celebrated mine with tea and biscuits, no joke.

Thing is, I didn't 'do life' like a lot of kids. I didn't do the childhood thing, then the teen thing, then graduate to adulthood and get to savour a drink, even a bump of coke now and then.

I was born in fifth gear. I shot through childhood, shot up through my teens and by the age of twenty I felt about seventy years old...and I looked it too.

It sucks sometimes, being so young and being clean. But then it sucks sometimes being clean no matter how young / old you are lol.

Maybe most teens and 20-somethings don't get clean / sober, and, hey, maybe I'm young, but there's been one of my mates funerals every six months for the last five years and I'm tired of it. I'm Tired of living life like I'm seventy, lisening my body ache and watching everyone around me ration out their pills and die. So I'm a kid and so I'm clean / sober too, just means I might just make it to that age my mates figured was a good time to get clean, 'cause half of them never did.

Of the nine mates I've seen die over the last five years, three made it to the age of 23 and only one made it to his 30th...then he died sleeping in a doorway and begging for change.

We all got a choice, they made theirs and I've made mine.

NEOMARXIST

I went to my local AA meeting tonight and it was a great meeting. I love the feeling of equality that there is in the room and I love how free and non self-conscious that I feel there.

There was a certain person there tonight who I had never seen before and I was caught in two minds as to whether to get their tel no but I was too shy to ask for it from them and also I didn't know if it was the right time to be asking at a time when they/I might be vulnerable. But it was lovely to see them and I am kind of sad that i didn't at least ask them for their phone number. Maybe if it's meant to be then I will see them again one day...

I am so gratefull that I am sober and I feel a sense of peace and serenity at the moment in which I truly only feel after attending a good meeting where I know I am doing well and doing the right thing getting sober. Drinking and drugs are a false and fleetinjg means at trying to grasp onto feeling good and come at such a high price. The thought of all of the after-buzz/comedown dragging on and on and on makes me feel ill thinking about it. Such a losers way of trying to find happiness and it will never ever work. Thats not to say that I am not ever vigilante though.

To stay away from that first drink one day at a time is the crucial part of it all when it all comes down to it and if you can be relatively peacefull/serene with that choice then i think your half way there.


Thanks everyone for your inspiring posts and your honesty. There is an honesty and warmth in many alcoholics/addicts that is a trait many share but at the same time that makes us vulnerable and naive.

peace and love xxx

PinkPanther

Im 24

NewMe11109

Neo - glad you had a great meeting. Next time, go ask for those numbers. Most people are glad to help and you might be ahead of some and they might appreciate you giving them your number. There is nothing that says you can't start helping others (and hence yourself) stay sober at even your first meeting.

It took me a month or so to get to know a few of them well, but now we are pretty close and it feels very comfortable.

I'm really happy for you.

blo0mz

I'm 21 and I'm having an insanely difficult time trying to get sober.

Send me a message if you'd like to chat or if I can help you in any way.

Charmie

thanks for your last post neo,im glad you enjoyed the meeting.look out for that person next time you are there and see if you can pluck up the courage to ask for their number,some things make us feel uncomfortable and they can only make us stronger,let us know how you get on!

NeverLookinBack

I just came across this page for the first time. I am 22, and I am trying to stay sober. I drank the last 4 years of my life away, caused numerous problems in my life, but I still have a lot of cravings. SR has been a godsend for me.

Oh, by the way Neo, I thought that getting a girlfriend would change everything for me. I met my girlfriend 2 years ago (she does not drink or have drug problems), and I thought she would fill the void I had. She didn't. I kept drinking. She almost left me.
Luckily i've shaped up and we still are together, but nothing fills that void like booze did. But I guess thats the addiction. Hang in there Neo. this thread really hit home for me. By the way, I started a young alchoholics thread recently. I need to check again if you replied to it, but I think it's a great thread for anybody who is young and in recovery.

We're I live the drinking/drug culture is everywhere among the young crowd. Almost everyone my age drinks to excess. However, people like us take it to a new level. I read about what you said about the whole drinking in bed at 6:30 am with a beer, feeling the warmth of the beer and the glow of the sun. You said only alchie's could get that. I sure as hell did. I used to LOVE drinking in the morning. Getting up early with a fresh case of beer, the day ahead of me, I felt so alive. I did this every day for a long time. I still miss it. But I don't miss the hangovers and withdrawals.


I too often feel alone trying to tackle this problem. I do have a girlfriend who does not drink, but still, I feel like i'm battling this demon all by myself. I take it hour by hour sometimes because the cravings get so bad, and I find that that's the only way I can do it. I also see a psychologist regularly, he's a big help. I also drink a lot of good strong tea (english breakfast too, mind you!) Anyways, good luck with your sobriety. Like others have said, we are smart for tackling this problem while wer'e young. Maybe we are a cut above the rest, you know? I don't know if your religious, but I think god's giving me a gift, and I really want to make the most of it. I know it's hard. I would have over a month now of sobriety if I didn't relapse 2 weeks ago. I relapsed hard, a one night binge with well over a dozen beers. I felt like sh*t for the next 2 days. I am envious of your 4 months. Keep it up.