How did you tell your family you had a problem?

Old 11-14-2009, 12:16 AM
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How did you tell your family you had a problem?

How did you tell your family that you have a problem? I don't want to live in secrecy but I am struggling with what to say and how much to say, etc to my family about my addiction. My parents are already dealing with another addicted child... I don't think they could handle this. They have even said dealing with another addicted child is their worst fear...
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Old 11-14-2009, 01:05 AM
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Are you clean now? Is there some reason you have to tell them? Your parents cannot keep you sober. If you know that telling them you have a problem will hurt them, and they can do nothing about it, telling them seems kind of cruel.
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Old 11-14-2009, 01:27 AM
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Hi Rockets

I've seen you around

I just out and out told mine.

They probably didn't need to know - I was 40 and not living at home, but it made sense to me to get it off my chest, not only so I could start fresh, but so I could get some help and support as well.

I know you're a lot younger than I was and I suspect you might still live at home, so I can understand you might have several reasons for wanting your parents to know.

If you need help, and you think telling them will help you get some help - do it.
All the other stuff can be sorted out later.

Have you thought of any face to face support yet - NA, counselling, IOP?
Everything we can use to beat this is a good thing, Rockets.

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Old 11-14-2009, 01:51 AM
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l just told them
It wasn't as bad as l thought it would be.
Now they are proud l am trying to do something about it.

Wish you the best of luck.
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Old 11-14-2009, 03:35 AM
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hi, i'm your child,

and i have a huge problem i would like to solve,

that worked for me...

good wishes rocket
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Old 11-14-2009, 07:56 AM
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hmm, why do you need to tell them? Are you underage/living in their home? How long have you been clean? How committed are you to staying sober? In what ways would it benefit them to know?

I remember I started telling people about my issues *while I was still using* as a way to almost and sickeningly excuse my horrible behaviors.. once I cleaned up, it as no one's business but mine. I didn't feel the need to drag anyone into that mess, my recovery was a very intimate and personal journey that I had absolutely no need or desire to share.

I think those answers are important. If you're still using, and not committed to recovery it might ONLY worry them if you were to tell them, ya know? What's the reason you feel you need to?

Just things to ponder..

I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I just don't think it's really anyone's business, or something we HAVE to do (announce that we are addicts/alcoholics).
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Old 11-14-2009, 08:13 AM
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I didn't tell anyone.

I felt that it was a very private decision and I knew it was something I had to do myself.
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Old 11-14-2009, 08:36 AM
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For me--I didn't have to tell anyone--it soon became quite apparent to everyone.
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Old 11-14-2009, 11:25 AM
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My family "knows..." Well, actually, my family knows I drink a lot. They have no problem with that. They don't believe I have a problem...

I agree with what's been said... if you're overage and not living at home, and telling your family would unnecessarily burden them with a problem they cannot solve... no need to. If any part of that sentence does not apply... well, that's another story. And I figure once you're sober, it'd be easier telling your family... but maybe that's just me.
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Old 11-14-2009, 11:29 AM
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My whole family knew something was up during my last binge. They kept asking what was wrong with me and I kept denying. Eventually I caved in and told them everything. They were sort of shocked and somewhat disappointed (at least my father was), but have been supportive since. They helped get me medical support and was with me during most of the time. Last time I tried stopping, they had no idea. This time they know and believe their support can only help me.
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Old 11-14-2009, 11:54 AM
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I told my parents because I needed their help when I went to detox (needed them to look after my animals). I also needed their support and they have been very supportive. It does worry them but then my drinking worried them more so being in AA and working on sobriety is a better worry for them if you see what I mean. It's because of my mum I ended up on this site. She found it and sent me a link! I am very close to my mum so it was natural for me to tell her. It's not like that for everyone so you will need to think about what everyone here is saying and decide what's best for you.
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:32 PM
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I sort of had to tell, since it was so obvious I was tanking & everyone knew it. If I hadn't been in such bad shape I probably would've kept it to myself. It all depends on how keeping it quiet is making you feel. If it's eating away at you, come out with it and be free of the burden. If you're afraid it'll just create more stress for you, then don't say anything - you can always do it at some point in the future.
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Old 11-14-2009, 04:01 PM
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My parents found out when I was in high school. I would drop off the face of the planet for months. When I did resurface I was typically breaking into the house to steal things.

When my mom at one point grounded me and locked me in my room so that I couldn't leave, I began having severe withdrawals and she took me to a hospital to detox. Ever since then, my family and I have had a strange love/hate/indifferent relationship.

Ignorance is bliss... Unless you absolutely need their support or help.
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Old 11-14-2009, 04:23 PM
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I agree with Angelina's statement - it's going to become obvious to everyone around you once you change your habits. This is a good thing! If you feel uncomfortable telling your family then don't - I would suggest saying something along the line of trying to get your priorities in order... or whatever comes natural to you. Recovery is a personal choice for everyone - and everyone has the choice whether or not they want to share personal information with anyone... including family.

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Old 11-14-2009, 05:10 PM
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I tol my parents both of whom are going to AA. They're together still an have struggle with alcoholism for many years. They're sober a few months now.

My dad seemed happy to hear that I'm going to AA. But now I'm afraid that they're worrying about me all the time. "Is he gonna fall of the wagon??"
I just told them cos I wanted to be honest and so they know that I'm going through what they're going through. Maybe it will help them to know that I'm in AA as well. I'm not doing it for them, mind you. I'm sober and staying sober for me and nobody else.
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Old 11-15-2009, 04:19 AM
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Hey, thanks everyone for your input. I guess I just got the impression that everyone I talked to seemed to think I needed too. I don't feel they need to know. I will probably just tell them I decided to stop drinking and doing drugs, to get my priorities straight and be an example to my addicted sibling who currently is not doing well as I said in my OP and other ppl who look up to me in my life, like my nieces, etc. It's just a huge, scary comitment to completely stop everything, esp since I have never had issues with drinking or psychedelics. But my life has gone to **** and I gotta fix it. Gotta grow up eventually anyways... and the longer I wait to face this stupid addiction, the harder it will be. Thanks again everyone! I feel wayyy better not telling my family, atleast for now.
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Old 11-15-2009, 03:55 PM
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I didnt have to say a word. It was very obvious. And when I actually had to flat out say it. I had to because I was being held hostage by a drug dealer that I owed money to. So I had no choice.
Hows that for finding out for sure that your grand daughter is a crack addict?
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