exitential thoughts
 

Hi friends!

I'm kinda in a rut here...I'm 26 n been sober from alcohol for about three months (I began drinkin at 19 and my pattern of addiction was binging following a few days of abstinence). For the past couple of months or so, I've been having recurring thoughts about the nature of reality and how uncertain it is, philosophically speaking.

Now, I'm a science student and had always had a creative and philosophical bent of mind. I used to marvel at the mysteries of nature and take great joy in trying to drill down to facts. But it was always exiting and rewarding. I could carry on with my everyday life and enjoy with friends and have fun.

Now its horrifying. I spend whole days thinkin about how illusionary existence is and since in my former life, I took pride in such thoughts, its difficult for me to ignore them and carry on with everyday life, which seems so banal.

My question is, is it just my brain getting used to being sober and hence thinking whatever it finds intriguing? Is this just a part of being normal again, or do I have a problem here? Has anyone else had similar experiences?

Would appreciate any help as its becoming frustrating~~

Hi Bumpkin

Welcome to SR.
I'm not much of a philosopher, but I wish you well :)

D

Hey bumpkin.

I don't know if I can totally relate to what you're saying but I do understand you, or I think I understand you.

I think this COULD be your addicted mind trying to wear you down, trying to get an excuse for go back to drinking again. Giving you a reason to think that you NEED a drink cos you're so smart that you can see trough all of lifes (illusionary) BS. Well, alcohol will deifinetely make it illusionary, as you very well know :)

I think these thoughts that you have are "fine" really but you mustn't let them become "you". Life IS illusionary, but it's so much more than that. Let it be illusionary but don't forget to live and love and all that cos that's what it's really all about. I think we are afraid to really live and so we chose to view life through cynical glasses as to give us an excuse to not really participate and "what da he** why not just get wasted anyway huh?"

Just my 2 p's..

Stay strong and positive :)

:welcome

"Doubt is the origin of wisdom." -- Descartes 1641

"I think, therfore I am." -- Descartes 1644


I thought your post interesting and Descartes came to mind, and since you mentioned you have a science education, a few quotes seemed fitting. :)

My ESH

Sobriety is an experience we live with presently. It is something we rightly become, not something we do absently in the shadows of other lessor things. Sobriety is a new reality. Roll with it. Embrace it. Live it.

An alcoholic mind exisits in ignorance and isolation, selfishness and corruption, hatred and self-hatred, self-defeat and death.

Take a higher path. Choose a new understanding. Stay with it. Earn it. Nourish it. Give it away to others. Get it back in spades.

imo, you're having expected experiences for three months of sobriety, don't worry about it. More to come. Have a great day.

RR

Heh, me too. Now I interpreted such thought to be a result of aging rather than a result of sobriety. I'm 35 and having a bit of a "third life crisis" anyway.

So perhaps this is the normal thought pattern of a highly analytical mind.

There's only one potential gotcha that I can think of. Now, my own "voice of alcohol" has not tried this particular trick, but it's possible for it to use the argument that since life is illusory anyway, then what true significance does alcohol or lack of alcohol have? Does it really matter if I drink today?

If your thoughts go down that road, then post here again so we can talk you down :)

Goat