Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Reload this Page >

Well, I don't know if this thread belongs here, but here goes...



Notices

Well, I don't know if this thread belongs here, but here goes...

Old 11-12-2009, 07:05 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Rangerbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 33
Well, I don't know if this thread belongs here, but here goes...

I got out of rehab a few days ago, and when I got home, my girlfriend wasn't here. After I made a few phone calls, I found out that she was in California seeing her ex-boyfriend. My rehab was a joint decision that we both agreed upon. Little did I know that my support group had a different agenda.

Well...easy come, easy go, I guess. She's moving out of the house per my request, and don't you know she had the guts to ask me "Is it ok for me to stay here until I move to California?"

And I thought only alcoholics were crazy.
Rangerbob is offline  
Old 11-12-2009, 07:26 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
FenwayFaithful's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South Boston
Posts: 547
Um okay this is coming from a girl who has a dependent personality so maybe my view isn’t exactly accurate but I really can’t believe that she would be so selfish. I guess maybe it’s hard for her too because of your addiction…but you went and got help and she didn’t stick by you. I just wouldn’t do that to someone. I feel like if you love someone, you stick by them…no matter how hard it is or how much it hurts. She probably did this for herself…you went to rehab for you though. If you had done it for someone else, I don’t think you could have gotten through it…so maybe you’re better off without her. You can focus on yourself… and when you’re at a better point in your life, you can be with someone who will stick by you.
FenwayFaithful is offline  
Old 11-12-2009, 07:34 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
sailorjohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
What do they say? We tend to attract people with illnesses that match ours.

IMO, you're better off not having a partner that would probably affect your recovery in a negative way.
sailorjohn is offline  
Old 11-12-2009, 07:35 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 58,644
Early recovery is really hard, but you can get through it, and there is lots of support here.

It's too bad your girlfriend decided to leave, but you need to focus on yourself.
Anna is online now  
Old 11-12-2009, 07:37 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Rangerbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 33
I really wouldn't have minded her flying out to CA, if she had told me about it first. The one thing I learned in rehab is honesty. The thing that really got me upset was her asking to stay here until she moves out to CA to be with her new boyfriend in Feb. She said she didn't have enough money to get a new place, because she spent her money on an airline ticket. Well...as I said earlier, she is no longer here.
Rangerbob is offline  
Old 11-12-2009, 07:42 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
sailorjohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Tell ya what, you're a lot smarter than I was this early in your recovery.
sailorjohn is offline  
Old 11-12-2009, 08:06 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
same planet...different world
 
barb dwyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I'm more a 'clean break' kind of person.

Like... put her stuff in storage
and mail her a key.

But that's just me,...

Good for you staying sober!
USE your resource circle- find a meeting-whatever!

Moving on is the only moving worth every ounce of effort!
barb dwyer is offline  
Old 11-12-2009, 08:19 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Asta1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 612
I agree with Barb. There doesn't have to be any animosity. Just a matter of fact type attitude. I'm sure she has other friends or relatives she can stay with. For me, there would be WAY too much tension in the house and it would be a serious trigger to drink. But you have to be true to your own feelings. Best to you.
Asta1 is offline  
Old 11-13-2009, 07:14 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Heathen
 
smacked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
While "good riddance" is probably a little harsh for me to say, I will also say that getting toxic people out of my life was one of the most important things I did for my recovery. I think she just created a great fresh start for you!
smacked is offline  
Old 11-13-2009, 07:31 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Follow Directions!
 
Tazman53's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Bob she is gone, so be it. This is a blessing in disguise, if you are fresh out of rehab then I am sure you are well aware that your primary focus should be on your continueing recovery.

I would suggest you make sure that you are well enough along in your recovery to begin seeking a new relationship. In the short 3years I have been in the rooms I have seen way to many early recovery romances become full blown relapses normally with both halfs relapsing.

In the rooms I have heard it said the 2 sick people does not equal one well person!
Tazman53 is offline  
Old 11-13-2009, 07:41 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
ClosetExtrovert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 232
Wow. That sucks. I guess the universe wanted you to be free and alone to work on your recovery. So be selfish and work on yourself and you'll have no one and nothing to stand in your way.
Good luck xxoxoxo
ClosetExtrovert is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:10 PM.